


Waking Up Dead

by Chibiobiwan



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Happy ending at the end of this I swear, M/M, Slow Burn, Warning: Torture of Main Character, angst fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibiobiwan/pseuds/Chibiobiwan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-wan thought he was supposed to stay alive, watch over Luke, survive until the day the force called him home. Instead he falls through the ice on Illum and finds himself emerging thirty years in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cave

**Author's Note:**

> Work betaed by the lovely DarkAngel568

Hate. It followed Obi-Wan’s footsteps no matter which way he turned. He gasped as he turned yet another corner in the ice caves of Illum. He should have never come here, despite who he thought was waiting for him, who needed his help.

 

Behind him darkness seethed and twisted into the sacred passages. Nothing was to be left undesecrated by the Sith it seemed. No temple untouched by darkness. Soon he would have to stand and fight. There was no passage out of the Caves but from the entrance he had come in. One that had already long been blocked, the friend he had come for dead at its mouth.

 

Through it all Obi-Wan called to the force, asking it where he should go, which path he should take. Asking if this moment was to be his end, if he could finally join the rest of the Jedi in the peace of death. The force only answered with danger and the resounding answer that he must go on.

 

As he rounded the last corner he entered into a massive cavern. It was dark except for the light of his saber, which only showed just how vast the expanse was. Behind him footsteps thudded, getting louder every moment. The force screamed run, and Obi-Wan obeyed.

 

There was only a small thin sliver of light ahead, growing smaller even as Obi-Wan got closer. Behind him blaster bolts began to fire, and still he kept running until finally he reached where the light still touched the floor of ice that covered the cavern.

 

The force told him to make his stand. He knocked away blaster bolts by the dozen. The crack of the ice below him was the last thing on his mind until it splintered underneath him and sent him crashing into the water below.

 

The cold immediately forced any breath he had out of his lungs, and it was only through shock that Obi-Wan didn’t take a gasping breath and drown himself. For a few seconds he just floated there in the darkness, as even the sliver of light was gone now. The cold pulled him down, and death seemed to call him despite the force’s will.

 

As Obi-Wan sank he thought about letting go.  He thought about finally being free of the death, pain, and guilt that haunted his footsteps since that last fateful day. It was not to be.

 

A light glimmered in the distance, and though Obi-Wan felt he had no strength left, he pushed towards it. He had no breath, but he had the force, and he would do as it commanded him.

 

The light grew and grew, until Obi-Wan broke the surface, gasping for breath, for the oxygen he hadn’t expected to ever breathe again. Even as he took that first breath though, his strength failed him, sending him sinking back into the depths and into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

The caves of Illum was one of the only places Qui-Gon rejoiced in, yet avoided unless absolutely necessary. The force was incredibly strong here, and shined like a beacon, but all the same, there was something haunting about the caverns, something that tested anyone who choose to walk within it’s maze. Still, Xanatos needed to build a new lightsaber now that he was a Senior Padawan, and Qui-Gon would not foist the responsibility upon another. He would wait for his padawan to return from any of the trials that might await him.

 

So Qui-Gon embraced the energy of Illum and sought to meditate in the force, keeping a watch over his padawan despite their distance. Everything seemed to be going relatively well- Xanatos struggling at some points, but overcoming his doubts one by one, when something rippled through the force.

Qui-Gon was instantly on his feet. He had never felt the like either on Illum or off.  The force urged him forward and despite his  trepidation Qui-Gon moved quickly into the caves and through its narrow passages until he reached the huge cavern where his padawan was.

 

It wasn’t an area of the caves that Qui-Gon was familiar with. A vast lake spread from one end into the far distance, the nearest part freezing over as the day on Illum slipped away. Most importantly however was his padawan… who was currently dragging someone or something out of the icy depths. All this was taken in within a second and Qui-Gon wasted no time taking action even as anxiety grew in his heart and was released.

 

He made his way over carefully, the ice getting progressively thinner as he made his way to the edge were Xanatos was struggling.

 

“Xanatos.” Qui-Gon’s voice echoed despite his calm and reassuring tone. He needed to let his padawan know he was there to help as well as be debriefed by his apprentice on what was happening.

 

Xanatos turned to him gratefully, and Qui-Gon could see that the young man was wet up to his elbows, not good with the temperatures diving down, but as his apprentice moved it became apparent that the stranger was in far worse condition.

 

The man. For that was who it was. A humanoid male who was soaked in the freezing water, though thankfully still breathing. Already the shadow that was cast over them was acting quickly to freeze the water, crusting the man’s clothes.

 

“I don’t know what happened, Master,” Xanatos spoke quickly, as he continued to pull the man to safety, finally to the point where Qui-Gon could help as well without endangering them all.

 

“I followed the guidance of the force to this cavern where I believe I sensed my crystal, only it was in the water and getting closer. Then it turned out not to be a crystal at all!” Xanatos’ confusion was clear. “This man swam to the surface, but sank again after only a moment, I think he passed out. I was able to use the force to pull him over, but I don’t understand…” They were far enough now that Qui-Gon swung the man into his arms, using the force to supplement his strength as the water weighed down the already dead weight of the man.

 

“The force works in mysterious ways, padawan. We need to hurry if we are going to save him.” Hypothermia could kill if not dealt with. “Can you run?” By this Qui-Gon meant did Xanatos have the endurance to use the force to help him move quickly. Xanatos nodded, worry etched across his face.

 

With that the two of them took off running to the entrance of the cave where Qui-Gon had waited patiently for his padawan to finish. The waterfall of ice was steadily lowering, but was still half opened. Qui-Gon paused his force-enhanced run to turn to his padawan who had matched his speed. “Your time is not yet over, what do you wish to do?”

 

They were still moving quickly, but Qui-Gon could see the conflict on his student’s face before resolution took over. “I will stay and help master… though I wish to go back before too much time passes.” A look was thrown at the stranger in Qui-Gon’s arms. No doubt Xanatos was curious about the stranger but wished to also ensure that if the stranger would not prove dangerous. Normally such caution wouldn’t be warranted, but the caves of Illum were a strange place, and strange things could happen there.

 

“Very well,” Qui-Gon said with approval, “Set out of the bed rolls, we will need to combine them.” As he spoke, he set down the man who had stopped shivering, a bad sign; he would need to undress the man and use a combination of body heat and heating pads to bring the man’s body temperature back to normal. First however, the damp clothes that were wicking heat had to go. Qui-Gon worked quickly, but gently even as he took into account the clothing that the man was wearing. While not all Jedi garb, many pieces were recognizably so. That made sense as the Caves of Illum should have been hidden to any outside of the Jedi.

 

Qui-Gon did his best to protect the man’s near ice cold skin as he undressed him by setting him down on his own cloak. Much of the man’s garments were recognizably Jedi, and when Qui-Gon felt a concealed lightsaber he was not surprised. He was grateful to see that Xanatos had finished combining the bed rolls and had heating pads ready. Within a moment Qui-Gon carried the man over and had him tucked away, but even with the heating pads, if nothing more were to be done the man would likely die. With that in mind Qui-Gon gestured for Xanatos as he undressed to just his undergarments. “We will need to dry these as well if we are to get back to the ship any time soon.” Currently the ship was a kilometer walk through a blizzard, out of the question if they were going to save the stranger. “ Stow this in the baggage as well.” Qui-gon said, handing the stranger’s lightsaber directly to his apprentice.

 

Xanatos met his eyes with curious speculation, taking the lightsaber without question. “I’ll take care of it.” The padawan wasted no time gathering the damp clothing that had already been shed.

 

Qui-Gon nodded, trusting his apprentice to do as he said and, once he was down to his undergarments, gratefully slid into the bed roll with the stranger. Though he could supplement his body temperature through the force it was still distinctly uncomfortable to be in such an environment bare skinned. As he slid in next to the body of the stranger however, he realized the bed roll wouldn’t be much more comfortable. The stranger still wasn’t shivering, and holding onto the man was like hugging a icicle.

 

Xanatos had finished rigging up a makeshift drying unit for the clothes and came back over.

 

“Do you think he will make it?” Concern was the most predominant expression on the young man’s face.

 

With the man securely snug against Qui-Gon’s chest he replied, “It’s difficult to say, however we have done all we can do. If the force wills it, it will be so.” Qui-gon couldn’t imagine the force bringing them the stranger only for him to succumb to the cold, but the man was so far unresponsive to anything they had done. “Trust in the force Padawan.” Qui-gon smiled slightly. “I will wait for you here.”

 

Xanatos nodded unhappily. The young man was protective of his master, but he left knowing that the stranger would hardly be in a position to cause Qui-Gon harm. Qui-Gon settled into a light meditation, once more keeping track of his padawan’s progress while making sure he would be aware of any changes in the stranger’s condition.

 

* * *

 

 

When Obi-Wan awoke, it was gradual. Safety resounded through the force. It wasn’t something Obi-Wan had felt in a long long time. He cherished it, and allowed himself to relish in the arms wrapped around him. When that thought registered, however, curiosity began to bloom. Who was holding him? The feeling of security meant that there was no urgency as Obi-Wan looked up and into the face of the man holding him.

 

The shock that ran through blood down to his toes caused him to freeze. _Qui-Gon._

 

The movement, or rather the lack of, seemed to have alerted the Jedi Master to his change in consciousness, as Qui-Gon’s eyes opened and took him in as well.

 

There was no smile. Of course, Obi-Wan shouldn’t have expected it. Not after what he had done.

 

Obi-Wan broke his gaze from his former master’s. “Am I dead?” He croaked out. He already knew the answer of course. But somehow he wanted to confirm it, after all, his master had always told him the truth. No matter how painful.

 

“No more so than I,” Qui-Gon said. His voice rumbling through his chest, so that Obi-Wan could feel the vibration against his hand.

 

“Ah.” Obi-Wan said. No more needed to be spoken. It wasn’t what he expected the force to be like. He still could feel his heart thumping painfully in his chest, as well as the arms unwrapping themselves from him.

 

“It’s good to see you awake. My apprentice and I were worried for a time that you wouldn’t make it.” Qui-Gon said as he sat up. “He’s gone back into the caves now, once you began shivering he knew it was only a matter of time before we would need to leave directly.”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t understand, his head tilting in confusion in a way that he hadn’t done for years. His apprentice? What did Qui-Gon mean by that?  Obi-Wan watched as his old master gathered himself up and began to dress.

 

“Your clothing is here if you feel up to dressing. What you have just gone through was likely traumatizing so take it easy.” Well, that made sense at least. Dying was rather distressing. Still he followed Qui-Gon’s orders and began to follow suit. He blushed slightly as he realized that, unlike Qui-Gon, he had been quite bare under the cover of the bed roll. Perhaps the saying you can’t take it with you was quite literal then?

 

Qui-Gon had finished long before him and was eyeing him patiently while he finished. Not long after exiting the bedroll, shivers were quick to take over Obi-Wan’s frame. “You should eat something. Then you can explain how you ended up in these caves.”

 

Wait. What? “You don’t know?” Somehow Obi-Wan thought Qui-Gon would have. Though he hadn’t yet been successful in contacting his former master as Yoda had, he had been under the impression that Qui-Gon had been aware what was happening to the living.

 

The Jedi Master’s eyebrows rose in response. “No, I am afraid I don’t.” Qui-Gon said wryly.

 

Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure how to respond to this revelation and decided for now to simply listen to his old master and eat the ration bar that was offered to him. As he nibbled on the bar, Qui-Gon came over and settled a thin thermal blanket across his shoulders. “Until you can use the force to supplement your body temperature you will need to be careful of the cold.” Obi-Wan was just getting more and more confused, not only did he need to eat, but the cold still affected him as well? The afterlife clearly was not as much as it was cracked up to be.

 

He was only half way through the ration bar, Qui-Gon watching him patiently the whole time, when sounds drifted towards them. Presumably it was the apprentice that Qui-Gon had referred to-

 

Xanatos.

 

Obi-Wan was on his feet nearly instantly, reaching for his lightsaber which was nowhere to be seen. He looked to Qui-Gon for guidance, but instead of being prepared to fight, his master had relaxed in the other man’s presence! Obi-Wan looked back at Xanatos incredulously who was in turn looking at him curiously.

 

“Well he certainly seems to be doing better.” Xanatos said as he moved towards him. Obi-Wan instantly began backing away, as he had no other recourse but to retreat.

 

“Padawan, hold.” Qui-Gon quietly commanded. What? Confusion was swirling through Obi-Wan’s every thought. He wanted to believe that Qui-Gon was referring to him, but somehow knew that he wasn’t. The padawan braid trailing behind Xanatos’ ear attested to that as well as the man’s surprising youth. Far younger than Obi-Wan had ever known him as.

 

Qui-Gon turned him, holding his hand calmingly. “It’s alright. This is my apprentice Xanatos, he was the one who pulled you from the lake.”

 

The lake? Where he had died? Obi-Wan struggled to understand. Perhaps… perhaps in the afterlife Qui-Gon had made peace with his former padawan? Was that possible? Obi-Wan’s thoughts instantly went to Anakin. Oh force he hoped so.

 

“My name is Qui-Gon Jinn, I am a Jedi Master from the Temple on Coruscant.” Qui-Gon continued in the same low calming voice, but his words had the opposite effect than he intended. A rush of adrenaline coursed through Obi-Wan’s blood stream as he realised that not only did Qui-Gon not know how he died, but he didn’t know who he was at all. How could Qui-Gon not know him? Surely he hadn’t changed so much as that?

 

The panic and confusion on his face must have been clear as Qui-Gon continued to try and calm him, gently asking him, “Do you know who the Jedi are?”

 

It just got worse. Obi-Wan hastily nodded. “Yes, of course.” His voice came out rough again from the lack of use and abuse of the cold.

 

“Good, good.” Qui-Gon said in that soft growl of his. “Can you tell me who you are?”

 

The question hurt, far more than it should have. Still he opened his mouth to answer, after all Qui-Gon had a right to know more than any other. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Xanatos tilt his head curiously.

 

“Ben.” It hadn’t been what Obi-Wan meant to say, he was so used to it the last two years though. There was no recognition in Qui-Gon’s eyes though, no spark that hinted that he had been the first to ever call Obi-Wan as such.

 

Obi-Wan’s shoulders slumped. “Ben Kenobi. I hail from the Coruscant Temple as well.” He should have corrected himself, however he did not want to face Qui-Gon’s lack of reaction to his true name. Something he believed more and more strongly would happen if he offered it.

 

Relieved understanding crossed Qui-Gon’s expression. “I see. My padawan and I thought you were likely also a Jedi, although I confess we were unaware there was anyone else on the planet let alone in the caves.”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t understand what was going on, perhaps this was a test, one last gate to pass before going onto the true afterlife? Either way he would play along. “Well here I am.” Obi-Wan shrugged rather hopelessly.

 

Xanatos spoke up now, “How did you end up in the lake anyway?” The interest was clear on the young man’s face.

 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed, not sure how to answer. With the truth? He glanced between the two Jedi. Perhaps better to tell the truth from a certain point of view. “I arrived not long ago and found myself lost in the caves. The force led me to the lake, I am not sure why.” Now wasn’t that the truth. “Before I knew it I was in the water.” He shrugged at the end of his explanation. Mystified by the path the force had lead him on. After all, he had believed he was meant to live- to guard over Anakin’s children and help the rebel cause. Alas, it seemed not to be.

 

Qui-Gon was studying him somewhat suspiciously. The Jedi Master had always been able to sense any lie or misdirection that Obi-Wan attempted.

 

“Strange.” Was the only remark Qui-Gon made. Instead of further integrating Obi-Wan however, he turned to Xanatos. “Were you able to find a lightsaber crystal?”

 

Xanatos practically lit up at the mention. “You already know I did, Master.” Xanatos proudly held up a clear green crystal that resonated in the force. “It seems the caves were satisfied with my actions yesterday, it only took me a short time to find the crystal. It was on the other side of that lake…” Xanatos looked speculatively at Obi-Wan as he mentioned the place he had been found.

 

“The force works in mysterious ways.” Qui-Gon commented with a smile, he once again turned back to Obi-Wan. “It seems that what we have come here to do has been finished. We did not pick up your ship on our scanner when we arrived, but I think it’s unwise for you to fly back to Coruscant on your own even if it’s not far from here.”

 

Fly back? Everything about this new reality was confusing. Still the force urged him along this path, and at least that was consistent. He was fairly sure his ship had been blown up by the clones. Of course, with the way reality was distorted now he had no idea if it was even there as Qui-Gon had said. “I would be grateful for a ride then.” Obi-Wan bowed. He didn’t understand what returning to Coruscant would would mean in this strange afterlife he had found himself. Still, even if Qui-Gon didn’t know him, Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon, and trusted him with his life- and in this case. perhaps his sanity.

 

“We would be happy to provide one.” Qui-Gon bowed slightly in return.

 

* * *

 

 

The whole thing was suspicious. The only thing keeping Qui-Gon from full out interrogating the strange man was the fact that the force was urging him to trust the man. Trust him! The man had flinched away from Xanatos, given a false name, and hardly explained his presence on Illum. All of these things could be explained if taken one by one, but all together it was rather vexing.

 

The suspicion that Xanatos was practically radiating through their bond made it clear that he wasn’t alone with his thoughts on the stranger. However, Qui-Gon firmly believed that everything had it’s own time, and it would perhaps be better to simply allow the council to handle the strange Jedi.

 

It didn’t take them long to break camp and begin their journey out. The man, Ben, had still not recovered his force reserves to be able to supplement his body temperature, and as such they would need to move quickly. Qui-Gon directed Xanatos to go first, he would lead the way and open the hatch so that Ben would be able to get on board as quickly as possible. Qui-Gon would take up the rear and keep a careful eye on their guest.

 

Leaving the sanctuary of the caves, they made their way through the blizzard that was still raging outside.  It did not take them long to make it to the ship, but by the time they did Ben was already shivering vigorously. Unfortunately, though the ship wasn’t as cold as outside, they had shut down many of the systems to conserve energy.

 

“Padawan, go ahead and take us out of here.” Qui-Gon gestured subtly with his eyes, conveying that he would take care of their guest. Xanatos nodded and made his way to the cockpit while Qui-Gon turned his attention to “Ben”.

 

“Come along then, the sleeping quarters will warm more quickly than the rest of the ship, and it’s unlikely that the cold is good for you so soon after being hypothermic.” Qui-Gon gently guided the man by the elbow to the room. It only had two beds, and after he had settled Ben on one with all of the blankets available. Xanatos had acted quickly and warm air was already blasting through the air outtake vent.

 

Ben snuggled into the blankets, his shivering slowly subsiding. Qui-Gon was unsettled by the look of sadness that overcame Ben whenever he looked at him. It was a struggle to fight the protectiveness that he could already feel rising at the forlorn expression and instead look at things logically. The force wasn’t helping either as it encouraged him to follow his instincts rather than his head.

 

“If you wish to use the refresher it’s just across the hall. You can use the shaving kit there as well if you would like.” Qui-Gon offered; despite now being dry the man still had a bedraggled appearance about him. Ben raised a hand to his beard at the comment, rubbing at the runaway bristles. “Ah, even this then…” The man murmured, bemused.

 

“Even that?” Qui-Gon prodded, his curiosity getting the best of him.

 

Ben looked and remarked wryly, “I think I expected more illumination.” It was a joke that didn’t make any sense, but somehow had a ring of truth. Qui-Gon didn’t understand. He sighed, “You and Yoda must get along well.”

 

Something like surprise crossed Ben’s face. “Well, yes.”

 

Qui-Gon chuckled lightly at the response. It actually explained quite a bit about the man in that case and was reassuring as well. Yoda was always a good judge of character, with one notable exception of taking a dislike to Xanatos. Qui-Gon figured that was largely because Xanatos was in the habit of taking the last cookie whenever the three of them had tea.

 

“He will no doubt be glad to see you again then.”

 

Ben’s brows furrowed. “Yoda is there? On Coruscant?”

 

Why would that be in doubt? Qui-Gon’s impression of the man was swinging wildly back and forth, confusion leading to dismay. “Yes as far as I’m aware he hasn’t left in decades.” Qui-Gon pointed out.

 

With as baffled as Qui-Gon was, Ben seemed even more so. Qui-Gon sighed, “I need to check on my padawan. Is there anything I can help you with before I go?”

 

Ben looked up and shook his head, giving Qui-Gon leave to go to the cockpit. The Jedi Master took the release gratefully. The conflict between logic and what the force whispered an uncomfortable dichotomy that Qui-Gon was unused to. No doubt his padawan was equally unsettled and would need reassurance.

 

* * *

 

  


“Who do you think he is?” Xanatos asked with a backwards glance as soon as Qui-Gon entered the cockpit.

 

Qui-Gon sat in the co-pilot’s chair before answering. “He’s our colleague as far as I’m aware padawan.”

 

Xanatos looked dismayed, clearly wanting a better answer from his master. “He was lying about his name,” the young man pointed out stubbornly.

 

“He was definitely dissembling, but I could sense no outright lie,” Qui-Gon commented.

 

Xanatos’ face scrunched up in dislike as he turned his focus back to the controls of the ship. “Sounds like the same thing to me,” the young man grumbled.

 

Qui-Gon allowed a small smile creep up on his face at his padawan’s antics. He covered face with his hand to disguise his amusement before replying, “Are you sure about that padawan? Maybe I should ask in more detail what happened between you and Padawan Yiss?”

 

The wide eyed look of horror was answer enough. “I don’t think that is necessary, Master.” Xanatos replied. The young man seemed content to let the subject drop for a moment, allowing Qui-Gon a moment of peace to contemplate their mysterious guest.

 

“...Shouldn’t we at least contact the temple?” Xanatos grumbled after a few minutes.

 

Qui-Gon contemplated his answer before he spoke, “It’s likely not necessary, but it might be wise to do so. If only to give the council forewarning. Are we within communications distance?”

 

Xanatos checked the communications panel, “We should be in half an hour, from there it’ll take another twenty-one hours to get back to Coruscant.”

 

Qui-Gon nodded in acknowledgement. Illum was located closer to the temple than some would think, but it still took time to cross the wide expanse of space. “Very well, I will wait here until that time comes. Have you installed your crystal into your new hilt?”

 

“Not yet Master, there has hardly been time.” Of this Qui-Gon was quite aware.  “Why don’t you use the hull for some privacy then. I can keep an eye on things up here while I wait for the ship to be in range.

 

Xanatos looked critically at Qui-Gon, communicating just what he thought of that. Qui-Gon raised his brows in answer. “I may not be a pilot Xanatos, but I have no doubt you have already set up the computer to take care of our flight plan.”

 

“...Very well Master,” Xanatos said reluctantly as he stood. “Just don’t touch anything until I get back.”

 

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes, facing away from Xanatos so the young man wouldn’t see. “Not to worry, padawan, I won’t be touching any large red buttons. Aside from the one on the communications panel.”

 

Xanatos almost didn’t leave after that particular joke, but in the end was drawn by the idea of once more having a lightsaber at his side and left Qui-Gon to wait by himself.

 

Qui-Gon fell into meditation, focusing his attention on the force.

 

* * *

 

 

Obi-Wan had fallen asleep once Qui-Gon left, still exhausted from… dying? It had been strange waking up the second time. He had not thought that sleep would be part of the afterlife… or at least not in this form. Obi-Wan raised a hand in front of him, studying the lines crisscrossing his palm. He had an unsettling feeling that he had been wrong.

 

About what though? What had happened from the moment he fell through the ice to when he breached the surface? Everything was far too physical, far too real. He shouldn’t be alive given the circumstances, but it _felt_ like he was. Even within the force he felt unchanged. Qui-Gon had said he was dead but - but no. Qui-Gon hadn’t, Obi-Wan realized, now thinking back. He had been confused waking up and had taken Qui-Gon’s answer as confirmation, but that hadn’t been the case.

 

_“No more so then I.”_

 

That sounded more like a rebuttal than a confirmation. Yet, Obi-Wan could sense both Xanatos and Qui-Gon on the ship even now, both of whom were long dead. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. Perhaps his second theory was more sound. The Caves of Illum were widely known to provide trials of the heart and mind. He had fallen into the depths of it’s lake. The caves could be providing him a hyperrealistic vision to test him even as his body died… After all, time was relative and much could happen within a few second of unconsciousness before the body finally gave way. The thought that he could be dreaming crossed his mind, but it was thrown out. He was well trained in the matters of the mind and could tell the difference between a dream and reality… Though why he couldn’t tell the difference from this vision and reality was unsettling.

 

The last option was so unbelievable that Obi-Wan felt reluctant to even entertain it. Still, it lingered at the back of his mind until he faced it. Often, the simplest answer was the correct one. He was alive. This wasn’t a vision.

 

It made no sense! The caves were known for creating visions, for being able to control reality within its own halls, not outside of them! Qui-Gon and Xanatos had brought him from the caves and then out ...and none of the taint that had resonated before Obi-Wan crashed through the ice had been anywhere to be found.

 

The door of the living space swished open, revealing Xanatos eating an apple. The two men stared at each other briefly before Xanatos stepped inside, leaning against the wall closest to the entrance. The door swished shut, leaving the crunch of the apple to echo through the room.

 

Obi-Wan had sat up, but was well aware of just how vulnerable he was. He had no lightsaber and was still tangled in the blanket he had been given. Meanwhile Xanatos had his own clearly displayed and was eyeing him darkly. Whatever this was, whether it made sense or not, felt real and having a teenage Xanatos across from him was unsettling.

 

“Is there something I can do to help you?” Obi-Wan asked facetiously, wishing to break the standstill.

 

Xanatos finished chewing before he answered. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but both my master and I know you were lying,” Xanatos accused.

 

Obi-Wan stared a little incredulously. That had been rather… unsubtle. Something he hadn’t remembered Xanatos as being. “I assure you I didn’t…” Not from his perspective at least.

 

Xanatos’ eyes narrowed, clearly communicating just how much Xanatos didn’t believe him. “My master wanted to find out if you were hungry.”

 

Yet another thing that didn’t make sense. Obi-Wan was indeed very hungry. What kind of vision made you feel hungry? He sighed, “I am.”

 

In reply Xanatos threw him yet another ration bar and sat down on the other bunk, staring accusingly even while he took off his shoes.

 

Obi-Wan raised a brow.

 

“Some of us haven’t been able to nap whenever they liked,” Xanatos snapped.

 

Ah the young man was tired, now that Obi-Wan looked for it. Likely he had been ordered to sleep by his Master. That, combined with fatigue and distrust, explained quite a bit about his attitude. If anything, Obi-Wan was surprised that Qui-Gon trusted him enough to leave him alone with his padawan. Obi-Wan would have been careful to be there if Anakin-

 

Tearing away from the thought, Obi-Wan moved the blanket out of his way and stood. They would both be more comfortable if he left the room while Xanatos slept. “I think I will go and use the refresher then.” Obi-Wan said, feeling Xanatos’ suspicious eyes on him until the door shut behind him.

 

He huffed a breath of air out once out of sight. He looked forward to the day when his life made sense.  Once he was in the fresher he winced at the sight in the mirror. He truly looked wild. That had helped when he was under disguise, but to look like a ruffian when there was no need was distasteful. He used the sonic shower first, putting his clothes into a refreshing machine as he did so. They would hopefully be finish at around the same time as him.  Then it was the long process of looking presentable. While Obi-wan and most Jedi knew better than to judge a book by its cover, that didn’t change the fact that most the galaxy did not… and Obi-Wan rather prefered to be cleancut.

 

Once his beard was neatly trimmed once more, Obi-Wan’s clothes finished, and he donned them with some satisfaction. There wasn’t much he could do for his hair which had started growing out. One day he was going to cut a trimmer and buzz the whole thing off… Or at least he would have. Consternation stared back at in him in mirror. He was never going back to tatooine.  He shook his head and exited the fresher. He had no wish to go back to the sleeping quarters; however, his options were limited. In the end, he walked to the back of the ship where a small hull took up much of the space. If he were honest though, it was Qui-Gon’s presence there that called to him.

 

The man was using the limited space to perform a lightsaber-less kata. Obi-Wan allowed himself to lean against the wall and drink in the sight. His master had been incredibly powerful, his long form balancing gracefully through each of the forms.

 

“You are welcome to join me.” Qui-Gon spoke without pausing his exercise.

 

Obi-Wan smiled guiltily. Qui-Gon had never been one to show off, and having a ‘stranger’ watch his katas was likely an irritant. “Are you sure? I could always go up to the cockpit.”

 

Qui-gon now turned to face him, pausing his movement with a taken aback look before continuing. “Xanatos kicked you out, hmm? And that’s not necessary. I would prefer a companion rather than an audience however.”

 

“He didn’t, but he seemed rather uncomfortable,” Obi-Wan replied. “If you are sure, then I would be delighted to join you.” He moved away from the wall and came beside Qui-Gon with enough space between them that it would not interfere with any of their moves.

 

Qui-Gon finished the kata he had been working on and moved slightly to the side, all the while eyeing Obi-Wan. “You certainly look good. Were you on a deep cover mission?”

 

Obi-Wan had to fight the urge to flush at the compliment. Qui-Gon had only been commenting on the difference in his appearance. “You could say that. It’s been… quite some time since I have been back to the temple.” Three years. Three brutally long years.

 

“Ah, it will be good for you to be back then,” Qui-Gon said, settling into the first stance of the Sun Kata. “Shall we?” Obi-Wan mirrored Qui-Gon’s actions, even as he mused on his words. Coruscant. He mentally shuddered. He had agreed to return, the force had encouraged it, but it was not something he looked forward to. If what had happened so far was any indication, he would return to a temple that was… unmarked by darkness. Obi-Wan wobbled at a slightly more difficult part of the kata before recentering himself. It was something he both desperately wanted to see and dreaded. To see the pretense of light when the reality was unspeakable…

 

Qui-Gon paused, and Obi-Wan followed suit. “I’m sorry, I should have realized you were still weak from your recent experience,” Qui-Gon said.

 

Obi-Wan hurried to reassure him, “No, it’s fine. It’s just been difficult the last few years,” Obi-Wan confessed. “Let’s begin again.”

 

Qui-Gon looked at him doubtfully, but soon the two were once more moving in sync, this time with Obi-Wan focused in the moment like he should have been.

 

Each stretch and contraction brought him closer to an inner peace that he hadn’t been able to feel in a long, long time. His study of Qui-Gon once more renewed. Now that they moved together the other man seemed to not mind however, and occasionally Obi-Wan felt the man’s eyes on him as well. The more basic kata turned into an advanced one and soon it felt as though they were dancing side by side, breathing in time with each other and the force, relearning each other’s presence. Obi-Wan cherished each moment until the last move when it was over.

 

Qui-Gon seemed satisfied once they were done. “Once we are off this ship I would like it if you would oppose me in a lightsaber duel,” Qui-Gon said with a smile.

 

Obi-Wan returned it. “I would like that.”

 

Qui-Gon brushed a light layer of sweat from his brow. “I’m afraid I should go join my padawan in the sleep quarters. We will be arriving at Coruscant in thirteen hours. There’s a pad in the cockpit if you would like something to do in that time,” Qui-Gon offered.

 

Obi-Wan appreciated the consideration but found himself looking at his once master searchingly. “You are placing a lot of trust in me.” Apparently it was not only Xanatos who could be blunt.

 

Qui-Gon’s brows raised, “Am I wrong to?”

 

Seriously? Obi-Wan felt slightly incredulous, but he shook his head all the same and Qui-Gon gave a slight smile.

 

“I may not know you, but the force has yet to steer me wrong.”

 

Ah, that explained quite a bit. Obi-Wan returned the smile knowingly. _Oh Qui-Gon._

 

“Sleep well.”

 

Qui-Gon left, leaving Obi-Wan alone. He ran through another kata of his own making this time before heading to the front of the ship. The ship was largely silent and for a moment Obi-Wan just sat in the pilot’s chair contemplating.

 

_This was real._

 

To bury his head in the sand any longer would be foolish, and he, while many things, was not that. Visions, no matter how detailed, or powerful, could not recreate reality as it was now. So what other answer was there?

 

The past.

  
He had somehow found himself in the past.


	2. The Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-wan arrives on Coruscant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly pretty flabbergasted by the response this story has gotten. I was not expecting it to say the least. Thank you all so much! And hope you enjoy the chapter :)

The time until their arrival on Coruscant seemed fleeting as Obi-Wan tried to come to terms with his discovery. He was grateful that both Xanatos and Qui-Gon had retired, but it came to an end all too soon. Qui-Gon came to check on him a few hours before their arrival. An offer of tea and another ration bar was made for breakfast, both of which Obi-wan appreciated. Unfortunately, his realization made him hyper aware around Jedi master.

 

“Is everything alright?” Qui-Gon’s penetrating gaze nailed him to his chair. No doubt the man could sense Obi-Wan’s disquiet.

 

Obi-wan looked back searchingly. He didn’t want to lie or dissemble.  If he was right, if what the force was telling him was true, then this was his master. His very much alive master- who wouldn’t know who Obi-Wan was for years.

 

“It’s alright if you don’t want to speak about it.” Qui-Gon released him from his obligation to answer, looking strangely more satisfied than before.

 

Obi-Wan sent an inquiring look at the man, but was grateful for the reprieve. “...Perhaps some day we will speak of it,” he offered. He wasn’t prepared to try and explain himself to Qui-Gon yet. He knew he would need to tell the council, that went without question, but Qui-Gon meant far too much to him. Obi-Wan wasn’t prepared to face this disbelief that would surely appear on the man’s face.

 

“I look forward to it then,” Qui-Gon said with a smile, setting down his teacup just as the door swished open, revealing Xanatos.

 

“Padawan,” Qui-Gon greeted while Obi-Wan and Xanatos stared wearily at each other. If Obi-wan was back in time that meant that a very much alive Xanatos, still a padawan, was likely on the path to the dark side. Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon worriedly; he now understood all too well what his master had gone through.

 

“Master,” Xanatos returned, apparently deciding to, for all intents and purposes, ignore Obi-Wan. “I should look at the ship’s readouts. It’s been a few hours since I put it on autopilot.” The padawan sent a suspicious glance towards Obi-Wan.

 

“Xanatos,” Qui-Gon began warningly.

 

“It’s alright, I need to stretch out my legs anyway.” Obi-Wan stood from the pilot’s before Qui-Gon could berate his padawan in front of him. Xanatos hadn’t technically said anything wrong anyway. He nodded to both men and made a swift exit from the cockpit. Behind him he could hear the muffled conversation of the men but didn’t stick around to listen. He needed to finish planning what he would say to the council and the hull would make a perfectly fine place to meditate.

 

* * *

 

It was far easier for Qui-Gon to allow the force to guide him than it was to resist, and as he spent more time with ‘Ben’ the truth of what the force told him became more apparent. The man hadn’t told them the full truth, which had put Qui-Gon on edge despite his instincts, but he had never lied.  It was clear that the situation Ben had found himself was complicated and likely confidential. Though rare, there were Jedi would went deep undercover or on missions that could not be known about by the majority of their peers.

 

Qui-Gon wasn’t familiar with such matters. He preferred to be much more forthright and though negotiating occasionally required some under handed tactics, it was largely more productive if things were done above board. Still, the Jedi Master was well aware that not all matters were so simple and sympathized with those who did what needed to be done no matter the cost to themselves.

 

So with this understanding, as well as the reassurance in the force, Qui-Gon found himself coming to enjoy what little time he had spent with ‘Ben’. It did bother him that he didn’t know the man’s true name as he didn’t see why that could be necessary, but the man was genuine, and Qui-Gon found himself satisfied that ‘Ben’ had not tried to derail his question with more misdirection.

 

Xanatos wasn’t nearly as forgiving.  His padawan had yet to break the habit of youth seeing everything in black and white. While he had taken after Qui-Gon in negotiation at an early age, he did so in a completely different way. Xanatos used his innate charm and, in some circumstances, good looks to be able to sway those he came into contact with. If that ever failed Xanatos had a strategic mind that always seemed to have a plan B to any outcome. It was a different approach but not necessarily wrong; the only difficulty was when Xanatos took a disliking to someone, which was why it was unfortunate that Ben had gotten off on the wrong foot with Qui-Gon’s padawan- nearly from the beginning.

 

It seemed that no matter how long Qui-Gon lectured the young man, his words simply went in one ear and out the other. In the end, Qui-Gon had given up. Sometimes even Jedi had to simply learn from experience which, if the force was right, he would sooner or later.

 

Qui-Gon didn’t see Ben again until they landed at the Jedi Temple. He and Xanatos went to the Hull together where the ramp was already lowering down. Ben glanced at the two of them as they entered before returning his attention on the council member who had been sent to meet them. There had been no record of a “Ben Kenobi” when Xanatos had reported to the temple so due caution was being used.

 

Qui-Gon did look for recognition from Ki-Adi-Mundi, but it had always been difficult to read the man.

 

“Master Qui-Gon, Padawan Xanatos,” Ki-Adi-Mundi acknowledged with a bow before turning his attention to Ben. “Master Kenobi, the council is waiting to hear from you.” The Council member gestured for Ben to follow.

 

Ben seemed somewhat taken aback, and Qui-Gon looked on with interest. Though Ben’s force presence was mature, he had thought it more likely the man was still a Knight. He seemed too young to have raised a padawan to maturity already, though perhaps he had become a Master in circumstances similar to Qui-Gon’s.

 

Ben said goodbye to both he and Xanatos with a bow which Qui-Gon and his reluctant padawan returned before following after the council member.

 

Qui-Gon looked forward to seeing the man again. Of _that_ the force was clear, and a bit of mystery to uncover would only make things interesting.

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan walked silently behind Ki-Adi-Mundi as the Cerean led him down the familiar halls of the temple. He had not expected the council member to address him by his former title, but it made sense after a moment of contemplation.  While not obvious to many, there were differences in an individual's force presence that occurred from padawan to knight and knight to master. It wasn’t something Obi-Wan was attuned to, but it made sense Ki-Adi-Mundi would be.

 

As much as Obi-Wan tried to stay focused on the here and now, when they turned into the Central Corridor, his steps stumbled. The last time he had been here-

 

Obi-Wan blinked away the images of padawans and knights littering the floor. Ki-Adi-Mundi paused for a moment, brow raised in askance. Obi-Wan pulled himself back to the present and grimly nodded to the Master that he was fine. He was the furthest thing from fine.

 

They continued to the tower without pause after that, Obi-Wan pushing himself to retain his composure each step of the way. Thankfully it didn’t take them long to arrive and, with a council member in the lead, they were able to go straight up to where a full council was convened. Ki-Adi-Mundi greeted the council with a customary bow before taking his seat, leaving Obi-Wan alone in the center of the room.

 

Obi-Wan bowed fully to the council in a formal salutation. They did not yet know him and respect given was more likely to be returned.

 

It was Yoda, not Mace Windu (who had not yet become Master of the Council) who addressed him. “Jedi, you are. Know you not though we do. Name yourself you will,” Yoda demanded.

 

Obi-Wan bowed again. The council no doubt knew his name had not been on the temple’s records and, though there were many Jedi on Coruscant, at least one of the council members should have known him. They would have, if not for the fact he was supposed to be a young boy in the time.

 

“Masters, I apologize for any pretense I have given. My name _is_ Ben Kenobi, I have used that name for three years now and, when I came into contact with Master Qui-Gon Jinn, I thought it best to continue to use that alias.”

 

“Hmm…” Yoda’s eyes narrowed as he stared speculatively. “Explain your name that does, but who you are it does not.”

 

Obi-Wan slowly replied, “I am afraid the answer is rather more complicated than I wish. As you are likely aware, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan pulled me out of the ice lake in the caves of Illum. What I refrained from telling them, however, was that when I fell in I was in a different time entirely.”

 

That statement sent a wave of through the council members as disbelief pervaded the force.

 

Yoda’s cane cracked against the tile. “Believe that you expect us?!” The Grand Master’s ears were slanted downwards.

 

Obi-Wan unfolded his arms, baring his palms appeasingly. “Expect you to? No. I refused to believe it myself and I experienced it; however, it is true and if you search through the force it will confirm my words.” Or at least he hoped it would.

 

Incredulity ran rampant through the chamber, but disbelief turned into the confusion as the Council each found their answer in the force.

 

“Live long I have, before heard of this, never have I.” Yoda’s dismay was clear. It was not often when the Grand Master was surprised by something, and it clearly unsettled him.

 

Obi-Wan’s shoulders slumped at his old mentor’s words. “That was not what I had hoped to hear. I know that it was the work of the force, but I lack understanding of why or how. Or even if I am in my own reality or some sort of parallel verse.” Such things had once been hypothetical discussions from his childhood, not something he ever thought he would have to face.

 

Yoda hummed as he closed his eyes, sinking into the communion with the force. “Sent here for a reason you have been. Going back there won’t be.”

 

A wave of hope swept through Obi-Wan, one he hadn’t allowed himself to feel until that very moment.

 

“Know who you are we must,” Yoda said, opening his eyes. “Understand why here you are, we must.”

 

“...Very well.” Obi-Wan replied. He had been sent back for a reason, whether it was his own timeline or not didn’t matter. He would destroy the Sith, but he couldn’t do it alone.  “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am one of the last Jedi left alive after the rise of the new Sith Empire."

 

 "Impossible!" Someone shouted as uproar exploded in the council chamber only to be silenced by Yoda cracking his cane against the slate.

 

Grave worry marked Yoda’s words as he spoke, “The Fall of the Jedi you speak of?”

 

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes. It was three years ago now. Thirty years into the future from now.”

 

Worry and shock rippled through the council. Billaba spoke next, “That must mean… you are the same Obi-Wan Kenobi who is currently an initiate in the creche?”

 

Interest passed between the council members as Obi-Wan confirmed this. From that point on, each Council member took turns asking Obi-Wan about the future while he did he best to answer. He explained that the Jedi had been mistaken in their belief that the Sith were extinct and that, through a Galactic Civil War, the Sith had been able to reduce the Jedi numbers until, by a single order, the genocide of the Jedi was complete. The Sith had then been free to twist the tattered remains of the Republic into an Empire stretching into every corner of the galaxy. Obi-Wan didn’t tell them about Anakin though, nor of many of the details of the war. The council agreed that it would not be wise to rely too heavily on a future that was likely already drastically different.

 

“Only amongst the council this knowledge must be,” Yoda said. “Meditate, we must, on what told us you have. Know more about this Sith Lord we must, before act we do.”

 

Yoda dismissed him from the chamber soon afterwards, telling him to visit the Quartermaster to receive a room assignment and necessities. By common census it was decided that Obi-Wan’s alias would be entered in the temple’s records as though he had always been there. He was warned not to leave the temple until the council decided what to do, and that they would be in contact. Soon.

 

Obi-Wan agreed and left the chamber. Wearily he wrapped his shields around himself tight, preparing himself to walk down the halls once more. It did not take long to request living arrangements, and once he had his own room he stood in its' center, just breathing.

 

The temple was alive again.

 

A shudder went through him as the surrealness of his situation left an ache in his heart. What he had experienced only three years ago was now erased. Real only in his own memory. The taint of darkness was gone as if it were merely a dream. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, stretching out his senses, trying to force his subconscious to accept that he no longer had to fear this place, to recall instead the many more memories of good that had been made here.

 

It was not so easy as that.

 

In the end, Obi-Wan was forced to push his memories behind shields, something he had done before, but at a cost. He would need to meditate in order to come to terms with them, but he had been doing that for years already and would likely be doing it for many years to come.

  
Obi-Wan’s sense of purpose had kept him afloat before, as it did so now, and after testing his new shields he wasted no time making his way to the nearest computer terminal in the Archives. The padd that Qui-Gon had offered had been limited to pre-downloaded information, and Obi-Wan had research to do and a Sith Lord to help unveil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks again to my beta reader DarkAngel568. She's awesome ^.^
> 
> Also I changed “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am one of the last Jedi left alive after the rise of the new Empire." to "the rise of a new Sith Empire." courtesy of lilyoftheval5 :)


	3. Meeting Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-wan begins his search for Palpatine and later runs into Tahl and Qui-Gon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work betaed by the lovely DarkAngel568

It turned out that going so far into the past made things far more complicated than Obi-Wan had originally assumed. While he could find record of the House of Palpatine on Naboo, the man himself was elusive, staying out of the public’s spotlight. And, while Obi-Wan knew that eventually Palpatine became the Senator of Naboo, he had no idea what the man had done before that. Even with the extensive resources of the temple, Obi-Wan could only find a small amount of information on the actual man; a date of birth, a old photo of the man as a teenager, and school records leading up to age 17. Anything else would likely need to be accessed locally. The only thing of note was the surreal moment Obi-wan realized that he was now older than the Sith Lord.

 

Frustrated in his attempts to discover more, Obi-Wan turned his attention to the Trade Federation. The temple had access to many of the Federation’s records as an auxiliary to the Republic, but the sure amount meant that it was like searching for a needle in a haystack.  Eventually Obi-Wan had been sent away by Jocasta Nu, but he returned the next day and the day after that to continue his painstaking search for clues to an alliance he knew would exist in the future. There was corruption, no doubt, but nothing beyond the norm until it came to the Federation's relationship with the Banking Clan.

 

Obi-wan groaned and rubbed his eyes. Painstaking research had never been his forte.  He enjoyed reading about cultures and people, science and new mathematical theories, but give him thousands of documents to sift through, each more similar than the last, and ask him to find the errors? It was truly awful.

 

“Is everything alright?” Curious clear green eyes stared at him, contrasting against the Jedi woman’s dark skin and for a moment Obi-Wan didn’t realize who it was.

 

“Tahl?” He said her name without meaning to. He had never known the woman before she had lost her eyesight.

 

Surprise flickered across the woman’s face. “Yes, have we met before?” She was holding a stack of pads, clearly in the process of putting them away.

 

Obi-Wan winced at his misstep. “Not for a very long time. I doubt you would remember me, my name is Ben Kenobi.” Obi-Wan introduced himself with a smile, covering just how overwhelmed he was.

 

Tahl’s head quirked to the side as she tried to recall someone she wouldn’t meet for another five years. “I’m sorry I don’t.” She said bemused before stretching out her hand to shake his own. “In any case, it’s nice to meet you… again.”

 

Obi-Wan felt bad that he had needed to mislead her but warmly took her hand into his own. “Likewise.”

 

Tahl smiled in return before turning her gaze on his terminal. “Now what could you possibly be working on that has you so discouraged?”

 

Obi-Wan sighed, not bothering to try and hide anything on the screen. It would only look suspicious and there was nothing implicating about Trade Federation Records.

 

“I’m afraid I have taken on a project far above my head,” he confessed to the woman.

 

She looked at him, amused. “It looks as though you are performing an audit of the entire Trade Federation.”

 

“Ah.” Tahl was amazingly quick on the uptake. “That’s about what it comes down to, yes,” he conceded.

 

The woman’s brows rose to her hairline. “Well no wonder then. You’ve been here for nearly as long as I have. That would make anyone bonkers.”

 

Obi-wan returned her expression. “Nearly as long, hmm?”

 

She smiled back teasingly. “More than that would be nearly impossible. Jocasta kicks anyone out after ten straight hours. Something I am well familiar with. I believe she has her eye on you even now.” They both looked to where the old librarian was putting away datapads, all the while keeping them in her peripheral vision.

 

Obi-Wan chuckled. “I believe you’re right.” He reluctantly stood, “Perhaps I better come back in an hour and reset my time.”

 

Tahl rolled her eyes.  “If you wish to find anything in those records you better make it at least two. I was just going to get dinner from the commissary myself, you should come with me.”

 

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he should take Tahl’s offer; after a few minutes back and forth he agreed and allowed himself to be lead out of the Archives. An approving look from Jocasta made him suspicious that it he had been set up, but it truly was good to be away from the terminal and its endless stream of data.

 

Obi-Wan was grateful that his shields were holding as he talked with Tahl along the way. He had missed her and was glad to be able to speak with her without distraction. She quizzed him about his own research but when he remained evasive she moved on to hers. Tahl had been a Lore Keeper far before Obi-wan had met her for the first time, and was currently writing about the recent acquisition of Na-alm into the the Republic.

 

Their conversation continued until they entered the commissary and were receiving their food.

 

“Tahl,” Qui-Gon’s warm voice greeted, causing Obi-wan to swing around in surprise and Tahl to turn and happily return the greeting.

 

The Jedi Master glanced between the two of them. “I see that you have made a new friend. It’s good to see you again.” Qui-Gon addressed the second part to Obi-Wan who bit the inner part of his cheek as he nodded in return. He hadn’t expected to see Qui-Gon again so soon.

 

“You two already know each other then?” Tahl asked.

 

“You could say that,” Qui-Gon replied.

 

“We met a few days ago,” Obi-Wan added, not wanting Tahl to get too curious. She was inquisitive enough as it was.

 

“Hmm…” She looked between them before smiling. “Well, I suppose no introductions are needed then. Did you save us a table Qui-Gon?”

 

“Yes, you’re a half hour late though.”

 

Tahl shrugged. “You should expect that by now. Besides, I had to rescue Ben from the Archives.”

 

Qui-Gon raised a brow in Obi-Wan’s direction.

 

Obi-Wan shrugged. “Apparently if you try to stay more than your allotted time, Master Jocasta will send out the cavalry.”

 

Qui-Gon chuckled. “Ah.” He glanced at his friend with amusement. “She is that.” The master gestured for them to follow him to an empty table. “If you don’t mind me asking, what were you looking for in the archives?” Qui-Gon inquired once they had all sat down.

 

When Obi-Wan hesitated in his answer, Tahl spoke for him. “Ben has been researching the Trade Federation. Force knows why.”

 

Two sets of curious eyes stared him down, curious for answers. Obi-Wan looked back at Tahl dismayed, but addressed the two of them. “...I believe that not all is what it seems with the Trade Federation, and I am looking for evidence to support that.”

 

Neither Jedi Master seemed impressed by his vagueness.

 

“Unfortunately, much of the trade in the Republic is rife with corruption,” Qui-gon said diplomatically.

 

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement before sidestepping the issue completely. “Will your padawan, Xanatos, be joining us?”

 

Tahl scoffed slightly, Qui-Gon send her a disapproving look before answering him. “No, my padawan enjoys eating with his friends, as do I.” His answer was clearly meant for both of them.

 

Obi-Wan looked between the two questioningly but did not outright ask about the clear tension on the subject. It was difficult to say what may have happened but it was clear there was no love lost between Xanatos and Tahl. Obi-Wan looked speculatively at Qui-Gon; he wondered if the signs were appearing in the man’s apprentice already. Anakin had distanced himself from other Jedi as well. A familiar ache settled into Obi-Wan’s chest. Anakin wouldn’t even be born for another 8 years. Perhaps that was better though. If the Sith could be destroyed then Anakin would never fall into their hands, not even for a moment.

 

“I have yet to see you in the training salle’s.” Qui-Gon interrupted Obi-Wan’s train of thought.

 

Obi-Wan looked over at Qui-Gon with a small smile, recalling the man had wished to spare with him. “I am afraid I have been rather busy… and I seem to have lost my lightsaber.” Obi-Wan had been embarrassed once he had realized that not only had he acted like a fool in front of his old Master, but had also been undressed and cuddled by him. Considering his clothing before and after was the same, Obi-Wan assumed that his lightsaber had come loose from his belt while in the lake and that, at some point, he would need to return to Illum in order to rebuild one. Not something he was eager to do, just in case… well just incase the force changed its mind.

 

Annoyance flickered in Qui-Gon’s eyes. “That may be my fault. Or rather, my padawan’s.”  Qui-Gon glanced at Tahl who seemed intrigued. “Mace spoke with me the day after your meeting with the council, asking about Illum and how we met. I had your lightsaber and was instructed to give it back to you.” Embarrassment was now clear in the man’s force signature. “Which I in turn told my padawan to do… It’s seems though he has taken an overdue amount of time in doing so.”

 

“Ah..” Obi-Wan said, more amused and grateful than anything else. “Well, I will be glad to have it returned,” he said diplomatically.

 

Tahl laughed, “Oh Qui-Gon-”

 

The man in questioned frowned at his friend. “I will talk to him about it,” he stated.

 

“I would hope,” the woman said, her amusement dimming. “It's a serious offence to withhold a Jedi’s lightsaber with no cause.”

 

“Yes, I’m aware,” Qui-Gon said wearily. “Xanatos sometimes forgets himself. It doesn’t help that he took a disliking to Ben.” Qui-Gon turned to address Obi-Wan again. “I will see to getting it back to you myself and have my padawan apologize.”

 

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how sincere such an apology would be but nodded in agreement, just grateful that he would have it back soon.

 

“If you would like, we can spar once I have it back,” Obi-Wan offered, his motives far from selfless. Though he and Qui-Gon were virtual strangers now, he still longed to be in the man’s presence and would take every opportunity he was given… He did have time after all. Years of it.

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes lit up at the offer, and Tahl tsked. “Now you’re in for it. Qui-Gon has been low on sparring partners ever since he managed to beat Mace.”

 

A smile crinkled Qui-Gon’s eyes. “It’s not so bad as that, but I do tend to spar with the same Jedi so it will be interesting to fight someone new.” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but staring at the man who was so much more happy than he had ever known him. Despite eventually having a deep and meaningful apprenticeship with Qui-Gon, the man had always carried the weight of what happened with Xanatos with him. While Obi-wan had known this, to see the reality of it was strange.

 

Qui-Gon stood, taking his tray with him. “I will retrieve the waylaid lightsaber now. I can bring it back here… or we could meet at the salles in half an hour.” Eagerness sparkled in Qui-Gon’s eyes and Obi-Wan found himself agreeing to the second suggestion without a thought.

 

Tahl shook her head as Qui-Gon walked away. “I would have postponed it until I had a good night’s rest if I had been you,” she remarked as she too stood and took her tray to be cleaned.

 

“It’s alright,” Obi-Wan said, following after. “You were right, I have been in the archives for too long… and it will be good to get some exercise.” He had kept up with his weaponless katas before meditation and sleep, but he hadn’t fought a good opponent with a lightsaber in.. sometime. It would be interesting see Qui-Gon truly in his prime. The man was only Obi-Wan’s senior by three years now.

  


Obi-Wan was surprised to see Qui-Gon on time with one lightsaber on his belt and the other in hand. He hadn’t thought that the man would be able to retrieve it from Xanatos so quickly, but he was grateful all the same.

 

“Thank you,” he said reverently as he took the lightsaber once more in hand, igniting it with the touch of a finger. _I missed you_. The words went unsaid but they were heartfelt.

 

“I understand how difficult it is for a Jedi to be separated from his lightsaber,” Qui-Gon said looking approvingly at him.

 

Obi-wan nodded. “Warm-up?” he offered, aware that many Jedi appreciated such a thing despite it not being realistic in the battlefield.

 

“I can do without unless you wish for it,” Qui-gon returned and, with a grin, Obi-Wan declined.

 

They moved out to an empty arena and bowed, formally beginning the bout.

 

The spar got off to a quick start, with Qui-Gon throwing himself into the fight energetically. He attacked wide, swinging fast as was characteristic of the Ataru style that he had in turn passed down to Obi-Wan. Only, Obi-wan had gone on to learn Soresu, a lightsaber defense form that, when mastered, withstood brilliantly against the aggressive form. The two of them moved lightning fast, Qui-Gon quicker than Obi-Wan had ever seen him before, and Obi-Wan matching each step. Though his master was younger than when Obi-wan had last known him, Obi-Wan knew his moves well, had memorized them as a child, and, as such, had an extra advantage that Qui-Gon was lacking. Still, Obi-Wan was no longer in his best form. He had been on the run for three years, and starving for part of it. Each blow that connected to his lightsaber was stronger than the next, and though his prefered form focused on endurance, he likely not outlast Qui-Gon.

 

Luckily, Obi-Wan had never minded mixing forms.

 

While Qui-Gon circled him looking for any error in his defense, Obi-Wan plotted his own attack. As the man moved in to take advantage of a gap in his defense that Obi-Wan had purposely left open, he switched forms entirely to undercut his once-Master before swinging around and putting his blade at the man’s throat.

 

Surprise spread on the man’s face, before laughter joined it. “Why I never…” Obi-Wan grinned, powering down his lightsaber and reaching down to give Qui-Gon a hand up.

 

Qui-Gon took the loss good-naturedly, rising to his feet. “Well I was certainly not expecting that. I don’t think I have ever seen someone switch forms so fast. What was that..Form V?”

 

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes, I taught it to my padawan. Though I prefer Form III.”

 

Qui-Gon chuckled, rubbing his chin. “I have no doubt of that. It’s a brilliant defense and, if you have the offense to switch to, it makes a powerful lightsaber form.”

 

A sparkle grew in the Jedi Master’s eye. “I believe I am going to have to get Mace to fight you. And have a rematch of course, now that I know what to expect.”

 

Obi-Wan laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Not tonight. I am afraid I am badly out of practice.” He was breathing harder than he should have been, even after a fight like that.

 

“Hmm,” Qui-Gon looked speculatively at him, but thankfully didn’t question why that was the case.

 

The two of them moved towards the changing room to shower and freshen their clothes. Jedi had no attachment to modesty so the showers were open to one another.  Obi-Wan had never minded in his youth, and been desensitized to seeing other’s scars as well as his own as an adult. However, it had been some time since he had undressed in front of someone else and he found himself strangely reluctant to do so now.

 

Qui-Gon, however, never hesitated, revealing the fine form that Obi-Wan had missed in his confusion upon awakening in a new time. As Qui-Gon’s padawan Obi-Wan had been well familiar with Qui-Gon’s form, as well as each and every one of his injuries. There were several scars that Obi-Wan expected to be missing, wounds that the man had received while Obi-Wan had been in his care, but there were two he hadn’t. Obi-Wan stared at the marks curiously.

 

“Anything I can help you with?” Qui-Gon joked, clearly noticing Obi-Wan’s attention. He flushed badly at being caught, and hurriedly undressed before dumping the articles of clothing into a freshbox.

 

Obi-Wan’s own form wasn’t nearly as pleasing to the eye, and he wasted no time in going to a shower and turning on the water. He could feel Qui-Gon’s eyes on him but fair was fair. The man had seen him before anyway. He ducked under the spray of water, allowing it to cascade over his head and back.

 

Qui-Gon soon joined him at an adjoining shower head, but this time Obi-Wan kept his eyes to himself as he scrubbed off the sweat of their spar. He would need to start eating more again, Obi-Wan thought as he rinsed himself off. He had already been too light weight during the Clone Wars, but he could easily count his ribs now, no doubt contributing to his lack of stamina.

 

He finished sooner than Qui-Gon and didn’t bother to wait for the other man as he grabbed a towel, drying off as he went back to where they had stored their clothes for freshing. Qui-Gon caught up to him soon enough, and by the time Obi-Wan was dressed the other man was almost finished as well.

 

Though Obi-wan was still embarrassed, he waited now that he was fully clothed.

 

“Would you like to go to the Room of a Thousand Fountains with me?”

 

Obi-Wan must have looked taken aback as Qui-Gon added, “I enjoy meditating there after a spare.”

 

Obi-Wan tilted his head slightly, looking at Qui-Gon curiously wondering, not for the first time, what his master was thinking. “That sounds lovely,” Obi-Wan agreed; it would be good to see the Room of a Thousand Fountains again… it was one place that hadn’t been distorted in Obi-Wan memory since it had been completely destroyed before Yoda and he had made it back.

 

The two of them made their way slowly towards the grand atrium and, to Obi-Wan’s surprise, Qui-Gon sparked a conversation on philosophy that they both enjoyed. He had forgotten how much he had enjoyed to talking to the man. Only now, instead of teacher and student, they were equals, making their discussion more balanced in nature than it was had.

 

They arrived, but continued to talk quietly amongst themselves, walking the many paths in the garden before eventually settling down at one of Obi-Wan’s favorite spots.

 

He looked curiously at Qui-Gon who answered that it was his prefered meditation spot, which confused Obi-Wan at first as Qui-Gon had always left him alone when he had come to this part of the garden. However, as they finally did settle into their own respective meditations, Obi-Wan realized that it was likely something that had changed because of Xanatos.

 

* * *

 

  


It had been unexpected but gratifying to see Ben at Tahl’s side in the commissary. Mace had come to speak with him the evening they had gotten back, and helped clarify a few things about what had happened on Illum. For one, Ben Kenobi truly was the man’s name, and he did belong to the Coruscant Temple. While Qui-Gon was still curious about why Ben hadn’t originally turned up in the temple’s records, he was also aware that for deep cover missions, records could be erased without a trace. Their conversation had been long as Mace asked about the particulars of what happened and once his friend and left Qui-Gon found himself looking forward to running into Ben Kenobi again. 

 

Unfortunately, despite this, Xanatos seemed to have maintained his dislike of the man. The boy was incredibly stubborn at times, and Qui-Gon hnd been dismayed to realize what his padawan had purposefully done. Luckily Ben had taken it well, and once Qui-Gon had retrieved the lightsaber from his unruly padawan, he had been able to finally have a lightsaber match with the man.

 

He had been curious about what the man's fighting style would be ever since they had done mirroring Katas aboard the ship, but he had in no way expected what he got. In afterthought he laughed at himself. He was continually lecturing Xanatos to not underestimate his opponents and he had quite thoroughly made the same mistake. It had been ages since a Jedi Master other than Mace or occasionally Yoda (when he could goad him into it) had managed to beat him in the salles. Unfortunately that meant that not many Jedi were eager to challenge either of them. So he and Mace were left to spar with one another, which, while challenging, left no surprise.

 

Qui-Gon was glad to have a new potential opponent, but had been alarmed afterwards when they both had used the showers. It had been curious at first to find Ben eyeing him in the locker room, a potential that Qui-Gon hadn’t been aware of blossoming in his thoughts before he saw the Jedi Master undress himself. Then his hesitance made sense in a much less carnal way.

 

Qui-Gon had seen the man undressed before of course. Had unclothed the man himself, but it had been done with a sense of urgency as well as an attempt to give the unconscious man what privacy he could. As such, Qui-Gon hadn’t allowed himself to truly take in the man’s form which clearly showed the effects of starvation and abuse. Many Jedi had scars, but Ben had far more than normal; combined with his far too thin form and it was little wonder that Qui-Gon had been able to wear him down.

 

Whatever mission the man had been on had been slowly killing the Jedi Master, and for the first time Qui-Gon wondered if Ben had been sent to the Medical Wing after his arrival. He had a feeling that he had not. Mace had certainly mentioned nothing.

 

Afterwards Qui-Gon had invited Ben to meditate with him, not yet wanting to have the man leave his side. To his pleasure Ben had acquiesced, and Qui-Gon discovered that not only did Ben know who Odan-Urr was, but also was familiar with his work on the phenomenology of spirit. Though they disagreed on several points, it was fascinating to find someone to discuss it with who was not over 100 years old. He had attempted with Xanatos of course, but the boy hadn’t been interested and while Qui-Gon taught the young man in the ways of the Jedi he would not foist his personal pursuits on his padawan.

 

Eventually, to his dismay,Ben had suggested that they actually meditate, and with some reluctance they ended their discussion, though Qui-Gon warned he would continue it with the man at a later time. Ben only gave Qui-Gon a small smile in return and settled into meditation.

 

Qui-Gon did not immediately follow suit, instead studying his new acquaintance for a moment. The force was strange about the man. It still pulled him towards Ben, and when Qui-Gon finally closed his eyes, much of his meditation came back to the presence at his side.

 

Somehow it all felt right.

 

All moments come to an end however, no matter how much one enjoys them, and Qui-Gon sensed Obi-Wan leaving his meditation and imitated him. It was interesting to see the effects of meditation on the man. Qui-Gon had not noticed how tense Ben was until seeing him now. He wanted to perhaps invite Ben back to his living quarters for tea (really the only thing of substance he kept there), but he had postponed his conversation with Xanatos long enough.

 

Reluctantly they said good-bye, and the same small smile was sent Qui-Gon’s way… its fondness finally registering. Curious and curiouser, Qui-Gon thought as they went their separate ways.

  
Now to deal with Xanatos. The young man had had Ben’s lightsaber on him but had been surrounded by his peers when Qui-Gon had found him. Having no wish to humiliate his padawan (or be late for his spare) Qui-Gon and simply warned that they would speak later. And now the time of reckoning had come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you enjoyed the chapter! If anyone is interested, you can find me on tumblr @ http://chibiobiwan.tumblr.com/ The next chapter probably won't be out for another week or so since I am trying to stay a few chapters ahead of what I am posting. :) Thanks for reading!


	4. Back to Naboo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-wan is sent to continue the search for Palpatine's current whereabouts and runs into Xanatos along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work betaed by my awesome friend DarkAngel568

 

In the morning, Obi-Wan was called to report to the Council. Obi-Wan had told them the bare-bones of Darth Sidious’ identity as Palpatine, and to his dismay, they could find little more than he.

 

“Surely he couldn’t have just vanished?” Ki-Adi-Mundi said, exasperation leaking into his voice.

 

“Unfortunately, it appears that way. At least in our records,” Mace Windu replied, his own dismay clear as he steepled his fingers.

 

“Discover more we must. Senator, you said he once was.” Yoda’s worry was making the Grand Master clearly irritable.

 

“He was,” Obi-Wan confirmed. “The difficulty, however, arises in my lack of familiarity with his background. I first came into contact with him seventeen years from now. It’s difficult to know what happened between now and then.”

 

“We can not simply wait for the harbinger of our own destruction to appear,” Even Piell roughly spoke.

 

“No, but we cannot act if it is not yet the will of the force,” Yaddle counteracted.

 

Obi-Wan was well familiar with the back and forth of a council meeting as a dozen voices all contributed to making a decision or finding an answer. He waited patiently, answering when required as they came to a consensus.

 

“If discover no more from the temple’s records we can, then elsewhere we must look.” Yoda nodded solemnly before turning his gaze on Obi-Wan. “Faced the Sith before you have, know what to look for, you do. Send you to Naboo to continue the search, we will.”

 

He bowed, accepting the mission that the council had given him. It was decided that he would leave as soon as possible and that Tahl would continue his research into the Trade Federation. She, after all, had much more familiarity and expertise with such a task.

 

He acknowledged the reassignment with some relief. “I will deliver the data I have accumulated before I go then.” 

 

Once everything was settled Obi-Wan was dismissed from the Council Chamber. He would need to return to his rooms to put together a small bag of necessities; he had gone without such for quite some time, but he was not one to turn down resources when available. On his way, though, he took a detour to Tahl’s old living quarters, hoping they were still the same now as they had been… in the future. Luck was on his side as her nameplate was where he expected it to be. He touched the door’s pad to send an alert that there was a guest was at the door; there was no answer so he simply deposited the data chip in a delivery slot on the side of the door. No doubt she would be informed of the new assignment by the council.

 

Obi-Wan turned to continue on his way when he saw none other than Xanatos walking his way, stopping about ten feet from him. Wearily Obi-Wan eyed the young man. He wasn’t exactly sure when Xanatos had defected from the order, but he had been given the impression that it was a few years before Qui-Gon had reluctantly taken Obi-Wan as an apprentice. That left anywhere from two years to months until Xanatos chose his family over the Jedi.

 

Despite this, Obi-wan found himself sympathizing with Xanatos, strange after having vilified him for so long. But he understood all too well the attachment that had caused Xanatos to fall. The same attachment that made Anakin turn to the darkside. He couldn’t accept what his friend had done in the name of saving his wife and unborn children, but the love that had precipitated it all was not something Obi-Wan could fault anyone for. Not when Obi-Wan had felt the same for his padawan and long dead master.

 

“Master Kenobi,” Xanatos greeted somewhat accusingly, eyeing him almost as wearily as Obi-Wan felt. “Padawan Xanatos,” he returned before the standstill resumed. “Is there something I can do for you?”

Discomfort settled on Xanatos’ face. The young man hesitated before saying, “I was going to give it back to you, you know.”

Obi-Wan knew exactly what Xanatos was talking about. “A fact I appreciate,” Obi-Wan replied neutrally, not wanting to cast doubt on the young man’s claim.

Xanatos scowled, folding his arms into his sleeves in a familiar gesture that Obi-Wan recognized as coming from Qui-Gon. “I didn’t know where your living quarters were, and I didn’t see you in the commissary or anywhere else,” the padawan listed his excuses.

 

Obi-Wan raised a brow. Ah. So this was what counted as that promised apology then. “How unfortunate. I will have to speak to the Quartermaster about my entry in the directory.”

A flush rose on Xanatos’ cheeks as he recognized the comment for what it was. Much to Obi-Wan’s surprise, however, instead of lashing out, Xanatos bowed in a formal apology. “I regret any inconvenience or harm my actions have caused you Master Kenobi. I submit myself to you for whatever discipline you deem fit.” When Xanatos met his eyes again it was clear that the young man was reluctant to face punishment, but was well aware the seriousness of what he had done. Obi-Wan wondered exactly what Qui-Gon had said to the boy.

 

Most likely Xanatos was already being disciplined in addition to the required apology. However, a formal apology still required Obi-Wan to give his own consequence. He stared speculatively at Xanatos for a moment while he considered his reply. He didn’t know when or how Xanatos had fallen, or if it was possible to save the young man, but if it was possible he had to try.

 

“I accept your apology Padawan Xanatos. I am leaving on a mission today, but when I get back I would like to schedule some training sessions with you if your Master gives permission.”

 

Xanatos winced but nodded in acknowledgment. It was common for Masters to require grueling training sessions out of misbehaving padawans. After all, there was learning to be done even in discipline. This would give Obi-Wan a chance to get to know Xanatos better and perhaps do for him what he failed to do for Anakin.

 

“Where are you going anyway?” Xanatos asked impertinently, the precociousness of his youth shining through. Likely any information Obi-Wan gave to the young man would in turn reach Qui-Gon’s ears, and at this point in time there was no harm in having other Jedi know where he was going.

 

“I am on my way to Naboo.”

 

Xanatos looked a bit skeptical. Naboo was well known as a peaceful planet despite its distant location. Obi-Wan returned the look with one of tranquility, not particularly interested in expounding upon why he was going to the planet.

 

“Well I wish you a safe journey then,” Xanatos said reluctantly, still clearly unsure of what to think of the Jedi Master.

 

“And I wish you well with your studies young padawan,” he said with a short smile and bow. He needed to hurry if he was to finish preparing and board the shuttle at noon.

 

“...Say goodbye to your Master for me, and my regrets that we won’t have another spar for some time,” Obi-Wan said in passing, wishing that he had enough cause to go himself. They were still just strangers though, perhaps acquaintances now and Obi-Wan knew better than to presume.

 

Xanatos turned after him as he walked away, but didn’t say anything, and as Obi-Wan turned a corner, he went out of sight.

 

It felt strange to have so much time and yet feel a sense of urgency. The Sith was out there, gaining power and alliances. Even within the Jedi, discord sprouted from within their youngest and oldest members. He knew that even with his foreknowledge, he would not be able to fix everything. Much was wrong in the galaxy despite all the effort of the Jedi for thousands of years. Yet Obi-Wan truly believed it was better for it. The Republic had only fallen when the Jedi had lost their way through the manipulations of the Sith and then their own destruction. The darkness that had fallen afterward had been much worse than anything Obi-Wan had ever faced before.

 

After his chance meeting with Xanatos, Obi-Wan was able to finish the rest of what he needed to do quickly and, sooner rather than later, he made his way to the public port not far from the Jedi Temple. Though Jedi could occasionally use Temple transport, it was much more common to use public transportation when possible. It kept Jedi in contact with the merchant class, and it was less expensive. Luckily Obi-Wan arrived with plenty of time to spare and settled in his designated seat.

 

Naboo was well to do enough in addition to being a tourist location that a nearly direct flight could be found to the planet almost every day of the week. It would still be a long flight, so Obi-Wan settled in for the wait. Perhaps he was getting old early but rest was never unwelcome.

 

* * *

 

Qui-Gon was having lunch when he saw Xanatos enter the commissary. He waited for the young man to come over so that they could eat together as they had agreed at breakfast. Xanatos had been upset when he had realized Qui-Gon wouldn’t be just letting his misstep go, but they had reconciled in the morning, his padawan letting go of some of his pride to apologize to his master for not taking the reprimand and discipline in good measure. Admittedly it wasn’t something Qui-Gon had to do often; usually Xanatos only needed a light comment before changing his behavior. Outward appearance sometimes mattered too much to the boy.

 

“How has your day been Padawan?” Qui-Gon asked warmly once Xanatos reached his table.

 

Xanatos took a deep breath. “It would have been a lot better if I wasn’t on creche duty, Master, but I guess it’s been alright.” Qui-Gon stifled a smile but refused to comment. Xanatos didn’t necessarily dislike children, but he avoided them if possible.

 

Qui-Gon asked Xanatos about his classes as well as the particular subjects that were being taught. Qui-Gon found that Xanatos did in his classes if they discussed the subjects outside of the formal classroom, and it was also usually enjoyable to do so.

 

They had just finished a discussion on quantum mechanics when Xanatos spoke up. “Did you know there’s an Obi-Wan Kenobi in the creche right now?”

 

Qui-Gon looked scrutinizingly at his padawan; the young man wouldn’t have brought up such a thing without reason. “No, I did not.”

 

“...Don't you think it’s odd that there’s a Jedi Initiate with the same last name as Ben Kenobi? He’s old enough to be his father.”

 

Ah. So that’s where it was coming from. “It’s hardly a rare occurrence for two Jedi to share the same last name. The galaxy may be a large place but many Jedi come from the same worlds which often have duplicates of the same hundred or so surnames,” Qui-Gon lectured.

 

Xanatos huffed. “Yes, Master, but Master Kenobi and Obi-Wan Kenobi share many more characteristics than one would expect.”

 

Qui-Gon stood as they were both finished with their meal. “Such as?” he asked, gesturing for Xanatos to follow him. “Well they have nearly the same hair, Obi-Wan’s is a lot lighter, but that often changes in humanoids.” Qui-Gon nodded, playing along for now. “Their skin color is the same tone, though Master Kenobi seems to have seen more sun. And their eye color… their eye color is exactly the same.” The last similarity seemed to have been what got Xanatos riled up.

 

“It’s most likely just a coincidence, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said as they headed down the hall towards the Salles.

 

“Yes, but what if it’s not?” Qui-Gon glanced at his Padawan, always so suspicious.

 

“If it is, then it’s none of our business. Most likely the boy doesn’t even know of Master Kenobi’s existence. There are some cases when Jedi have children outside of the temple, and when they are of the right age they are sent here for training. They are raised as any other child here.”

 

Xanatos frowned. “But if his father is right here-”

 

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other younglings,” Qui-Gon interrupted. “Unfair favoritism would likely be formed. It was difficult enough for you when your father insisted on yearly communication, surely you understand?”

 

The young man’s frown deepened. Xanatos had been bullied as a child for having contact with family while in the creche. The Jedi were meant to be family unto themselves, but some initiates had misunderstood and called Xanatos disloyal. “You said they were only jealous,” Xanatos said frustratedly.

 

“They likely were. However it’s far easier for most children not to feel pulled between two worlds, it's unfortunate that you were not given the same consideration.”

 

Xanatos looked hurt by his words. “I liked knowing my father.”

 

“Of course you did Padawan.” They slowed down to a stop and Qui-Gon put his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “You are a good man Xanatos, and a compassionate young boy. When your mother died, your father regretted sending you to the Jedi. I just wish you hadn’t had to carry that burden.”

 

Xanatos looked searchingly at Qui-Gon for a moment before nodding; however, the boy still looked downcast as they resumed their journey.

 

Qui-Gon resumed their original topic, hoping to take Xanatos’ mind off his Father. “Speaking of Master Kenobi, I would like you to meet with him after dinner tonight if possible. No sense putting it off.” Referring of course to the apology that Xanatos owed the Jedi Master.

 

“I actually already spoke with him this morning,” Xanatos said loftily.

 

Qui-Gon’s brows rose to his hairline, impressed that Xanatos had taken the initiative. Perhaps he should have expected it though. Xanatos was now a Senior Padawan after all. “Oh?”

 

Xanatos looked at his master slyly. “Yes, I must have forgotten to mention it. I ran into him near Master Tahl’s quarters.”

 

It was Qui-Gon’s turn to frown. He knew that Ben got along well with Tahl from their lunch, but he hadn’t realized their acquaintance went further than that. Still, it was a bit early for any disappointment. “Did he accept your apology?” Qui-gon had no doubt that the Jedi Master would have done so but was curious what repercussion the man would give Qui-Gon’s apprentice.

 

Xanatos nodded with a grimace, “Yes, he asked for your permission to work with me in the training salles when he gets back from Naboo.”

 

Qui-Gon’s brows raised at the new information, curious as to why the man would depart to such a peaceful planet and so soon. It was not for either Xanatos or himself to discuss however. “That was very kind of him,” Qui-Gon commented, both genuinely and to point out to Xanatos that the young man had gotten off lightly.

 

“Yes, Master,” Xanatos responded with a sigh.

 

“It is curious you would meet in such a place… What were you doing in that area of the temple?” It was not necessarily Xanatos that Qui-Gon wished to ask that question, but it _was_ an odd location as Tahl’s was hardly on the way to any of Xanatos’ classes or the commissary.

 

“I was picking up Padawan Goila so we could walk together,” Xanatos said looking straight forward but failing to prevent a blush from rising to his cheeks. Of course, Xanatos’ current crush.

 

“Ah, I see,” Qui-Gon said knowingly making is padawan’s flushed cheeks deepen in color. He laughed and ruffled Xanatos’ hair fondly. “Come, let’s see how you do with your new lightsaber.”

 

* * *

 

Naboo truly was a peaceful world and though, as a Jedi, it would have been easy to gain permission to access their records, Obi-Wan chose to maintain a facade of a Republic reporter. This didn’t give him nearly the freedom that he would have had, but he thought it wiser as it was difficult to know when Palpatine returned to Naboo and gained control of it’s politics.

 

Unfortunately, Obi-Wan almost immediately ran into the same issue he had at the Jedi temple; Naboo’s records were simply not collated together. Except for the bare basics, many institutions and cities on the planet maintained separate records from the government. Normally a perfectly fine arrangement, but somewhat troublesome when you were trying to subtly find information. As such, Obi-Wan felt as though he was on a wild gundark chase and that each piece of information he found meant less than the rest.

 

First he traveled to the last place on record Palpatine had been- Theed University. Through some sleuthing there, he discovered that Palpatine had once been a bit of a troublemaker but popular with his classmates and intelligent enough that his professors often gave him a pass. Hardly what Obi-Wan had come to Naboo to discover, but it still made him wonder: no one was born a Sith after all. So when had Palpatine turned and how? Both were questions that Obi-Wan would likely never know the answer to. Still, just before he left, the force pushed him to talk to a long-winded professor who eventually revealed that Palpatine’s father had been killed just after Palpatine’s final year at the University.

 

With this rather important piece of information Obi-Wan began digging through legal records that would have recorded such an event, and indeed Cosinga Palpatine had been killed that same year along with several security guards. Strangely, there were no records of an investigation, just a note stating that the body had been released to the nearest kin for funeral rites. Obi-Wan grimaced; he didn’t know what a Sith did with the dead, but he couldn’t imagine that it would be good.

 

The trail went almost dead from there. Obi-Wan continued his search, hoping for more information; after a week there had been almost nothing except the promise of meeting with Janus Greejatus, a man whom several individuals had claimed was Palpatine’s best friend while at the University.

 

Obi-Wan was justifiably wary but agreed to the meeting when the offer was made. It was his best chance to discover where the man had gone after his time on Naboo.

 

When he arrived at the man’s mansion a Protocol droid confirmed his identity before showing him in. As he took his first steps into the grand entryway, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. For a moment he considered canceling the meeting, but if Greejatus could provide information about Palpatine’s whereabouts it would be well worth the risk. Besides, sometimes it was better to spring the trap.

 

He was shone into a lavishly decorated sitting room and told to wait. Beverages were provided but it took Greejatus ten minutes or so before he actually showed up.

 

“Ah, Sir Kenobi! It’s very good to meet you!” The man had bushy eyebrows that made his dark brown eyes seem even more deep set than they already were. Obi-Wan found himself taking an instant dislike to the man.

 

“Likewise,” Obi-Wan replied. “I appreciate you meeting me with on such short notice.”

 

“Yes, yes of course. It’s not often that a Coruscanti Reporter comes to Naboo! Not enough excitement for you here, I suppose.” The man grinned, setting Obi-Wan on edge. There was something not right about this.

 

“Naboo has indeed been blessed with peace and prosperity,” Obi-Wan agreed, glancing around at their lavish surroundings.

 

The man laughed. “Some of us more than others, yes?” Obi-Wan smiled politely while inwardly he grimaced.

 

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to get down to business. Your secretary mentioned that you and Palpatine were once good friends?”

 

“Why yes, yes we were.” Greejatus smiled again, reminding Obi-Wan more and more of a Nexu baring its’ teeth. “Palpatine is the best of sorts, brilliant man, hope he will return to Naboo and help me deal with the ramble if you know what I mean.” The present tense was both good news and worrying. If Greejatus was still in contact with Palpatine Obi-Wan might have discovered exactly what he had come to Naboo for.

 

“No doubt between the two of you, you would have a firm grasp of Naboo’s government. When was the last time you saw him?” Obi-Wan tried to hurry the conversation, his feeling of something wrong growing stronger. He needed to leave. Yet, if he could discover this now it could save thousands or even millions of lives.

 

“Why, just a few weeks ago! Not in person of course, but Palpatine is a good friend of mine and I like to keep in contact. He and Hego Damask helped me with all of this after all.” Greejatus waved his arm at their surroundings.

 

Hego Damask. Obi-Wan recognized the name. It would have to be enough. The force was growing ever more urgent.

 

“I’m afraid I must cut out meeting short.” Obi-Wan was standing and walking to the door even as he spoke.

 

“What? We’ve barely even begun,” Greejatus protested. Obi-Wan didn’t bother replying as he quickly opened the door and just barely brought his lightsaber up in time to block the stun blast Greejatus shot at him.

 

“Tsk, Tsk. I thought Jedi were more polite than that.” Greejatus continued to smile widely as he stepped forward.

 

“It rather depends on who we are talking to,” Obi-Wan shot back before turning to run around the corner. If he could just get out-

 

Electricity fired through his body, stopping after just a few seconds but leaving him limp on the floor. “Ah… now what do we have here?” A silky smooth voice came from out of Obi-Wan’s field of vision. A darkness previously shielded shuddered into the flow of the force.

 

“I delayed him as long as I could,” Greejatus spoke up, seemingly eager for approval.

 

“...Yes. No doubt.” The hints of sarcasm were no doubt wasted on Greejatus as the man verbally preened at the mysterious individual’s words.

 

Obi-Wan was slowly getting feeling back in his limbs, but he didn’t move quite yet. If he just waited a bit longer he might be able to still escape.

 

“I want him taken Downstairs.” Somehow, Obi-Wan doubted it would be just down a level or two.

 

“Yes, of course,” Greejatus ordered the protocol droid to take care of the chore, but as Obi-Wan felt himself being picked up he acted. In a millisecond, his lightsaber was activated in his hand slicing the droid in two. For the first time he caught a glance at the mysterious stranger. He was a Muun, that much was obvious from his elongated features, but it was his eye color that disturbed Obi-Wan. It was the same as Anakin’s on Mustafar.

 

“Fool.” Obi-Wan didn’t know who the insult had been directed at, but it mattered little as in the next moment the Muun’s hand stretched out sending a wave of force crashing into him.

 

Obi-Wan didn’t remember hitting the wall, nor of being carried away. Only the feeling of horror as he realized.

 

There is always two.


	5. The Sith Lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon and Xanatos are sent to Naboo to find what happened to Ben Kenobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE CHAPTER WARNINGS IN END NOTES  
> Thanks so much for reading you guys, you seriously make it all worth it. This chapter gets dark quickly so please check the end of chapter notes if you need to. A few readers pointed out that Obi-wan was pretty fool-hardy in just going to Naboo, which he probably was, but he also knew that they weren't going to find out anything more from just sitting at the temple, and anyone he (or the council) sent to check it out could be in danger. He definitely underestimated just how much danger, but keep in mind he's thinking that Palpatine has most likely not as powerful as he is in the future, he has no idea that there was a Sith Master (other than Palpatine) and from as far as he's aware Palpatine moves as covertly as possible unless he's certain to win. Obi-wan did take some precautions, just not enough.

 

“Ah, waking I see.” A voice purred into the darkness as Obi-wan slowly became aware of his surroundings. A touch, no, a hand caressed his side, an invasion that made him flinch, trying to pull away even as he realized his arms and legs were stretched out above and below him.

“Stop.” touching me. It was an instinctive response that would likely be ignored. He finally cracked his eyes open, squinting at the bright light of the room around him.

A chuckle behind him made him try and twist to see the source of it, but even that was impossible. “You will soon discover Master Kenobi that your wishes matter little here.” The voice, no the Muun that he had seen before, whispered in his ear.

So much for being undercover.

“I’m sure.” Obi-wan quipped back, his eyes still adjusting to the bright lights. “Still, it's rather rude not to introduce yourself.” He fell back to his oldest defense, one that often got him into more trouble rather than less. However, the more he discovered the better off he would be once he escaped. Well... unless he died in the process. He had been a fool for thinking that Palpatine wouldn’t act so early in the game. A fool for thinking he could stand against the Sith alone.

The Sith, for Obi-wan was sure of that now, finally walked around Obi-wan so that they were once more face to face. They were in some sort of medical bay, with Obi-wan trussed up in a containment field similar to ones he had seen during the Clone Wars

“I’m afraid it won’t be as easy as all that.” The Muun said with a sneer of amusement. That was unfortunate, it would have made things much easier if the Sith had been loose-lipped. Still that wasn’t the only way for Obi-wan to gain information about his situation.. The Sith was far older than he expected to see as a predecessor to Darth Maul, but then again Dooku and been far from young as well. Even as Obi-wan had the thought it rang false within the force.What was wrong though?

“Now, my little Jedi, perhaps you would like to explain to me why you were so interested in young Palpatine.” The Sith stretched his long fingers out trail across his abdomen until it laid just above Obi-wan’s heart. Warning blared through the force, useless as Obi-wan was.

“I heard he was rather good at Sabacc-” Obi-wan’s snarky comment cut off as he felt the force itself rend.

 

* * *

 

 

  
It wasn’t abnormal for Qui-Gon to be requested to appear before the council on short notice. Aware that he and his Padawan were likely to be sent on another mission he commed Xanatos to ask his apprentice to make sure their bags were in order.

Qui-Gon greeted the council with a short bow.

“Master Qui-Gon, a mission the council has for you. Know Master Kenobi you do.”

Taken aback, Qui-Gon nodded. “I do, my padawan and I meet him little more than two weeks ago on Illum as you all know.” He searched for any hint of what this meant amongst the council, but their expressions revealed little. He found it difficult to imagine what sort of mission Ben Kenobi would have needed Qui-Gon’s help with. They were in rather different spectrum of expertise after all.

“Missing Master Kenobi is. Sending you and your padawan to Naboo to find him we are.”

Missing? Now that Qui-Gon was warned of it, the force hinted at something worse. Qui-Gon frowned, he had hoped that Ben had been sent to Naboo to rest. Though not a common destination for Jedi to recuperate, it was not uncommon to find a planet strong in the living force to do so. So much for wishful thinking.

“That is strange, may I ask what he was doing on the planet?”

The question had only been asked to give Qui-Gon a background of what to expect on the planet in case there were any complications he should know, however the council responded oddly, exchanging glances without saying a word.

“Master Kenobi was researching a matter for the council.” Mace Windu spoke up. “Our last contact with him was three days ago before he had a meeting with Janus Greejatus. He was scheduled to report to the council afterward, but never made contact.”

There was more that he wasn’t being told. While suspicious that Master Kenobi hadn’t reported in, three days was incredibly soon to have a Jedi search party be sent out unless the mission was considered highly dangerous in the first place and research mission usually weren’t. Still, Qui-Gon could feel a sense of urgency in the force, and likely the council did as well. What had his new friend gotten himself into?

Qui-Gon asked after the mission debrief and accepted the assignment. He had the feeling that he and Xanatos would need to watch their backs.

Before he left, Yoda spoke up once more, “Careful you must be, clouded Master Kenobi’s fate is, know not what you will face on Naboo we do.” The ominous words sent a chill over Qui-Gon.

 

Considering the urgency of the council, Qui-Gon opted to borrow one of the Temple’s starships. Though unlikely, in the case that they needed to get off the planet quickly, it would be well worth the paperwork it took to acquire one. (The real reason Qui-Gon almost always used public transportation.)

Unfortunately due to the short notice of his request he had only been able to acquire a ship that would fit two, let alone three. They would just have to make do. Though it would likely be an uncomfortable ride for at least one of them on the way back.

Qui-Gon debriefed his padawan on the of the mission once Xanatos arrived in the hangar bay and once they had launched began reading the data packet that the council had forwarded to his padd.

There was an unfortunate lack of pertinent information such as what Ben had been investigating or why. Qui-Gon had expected that however after the run-around the council had given him. Likely it was confidential, and would remain on a need-to-know basis even after the mission was complete. Still, even with the noticeable gaps of information, the council had clearly been keeping track of Master Kenobi’s actions, and Qui-Gon had times and locations for much of the Jedi’s time of Naboo. From just that information alone it seemed clear that Janus Greejatus was the most likely culprit of belaying the Jedi Master. That didn’t necessarily mean he was, but when there's smoke there's fire.

He and Xanatos discussed what their first actions on the planet to be, and Qui-Gon was proud to note that his padawan seemed to be setting aside his dislike of the Jedi Master to focus on the task at hand. Now that Xanatos was a Senior Padawan, he needed to begin taking the lead and showing Qui-Gon the independence required become a Jedi Knight. This had never been a problem for the young man and soon they had settled on a plan that they were both satisfied with.

They would pick a discrete airbase to land in before checking the last place Ben Kenobi had been seen. Janus Greejatus’ Mansion.

 

* * *

 

 

At first, Obi-wan didn’t scream. There was no breath in him to do so. Then, as the pain finally lessened, he gasped before a howl of anguish ripped through his vocal cords.

“Oh come now, we’re only getting started.” The Sith taunted, his eyes shining with delight as he took in the pain still shivering through Obi-wan’s form.

There wasn’t enough air in the room. Obi-wan sucked in each breath, the shock of the event incapacitating his ability to speak.

“Very interesting.” The Muun pushed away Obi-wan’s hair, wet from his own sweat. “I must confess I have never been able to experiment on a Jedi. I’ve been curious of course, but discretion won over any indulgences on my part. However… to have you come right to my doorstep?” The Muun chuckled, “I am afraid the temptation became all too much.”

“What-” Obi-wan gasped out the word, “did you do?” Tears had left salty tracks down the side of his cheeks. He didn’t understand. Obi-wan had been tortured before. He knew physical pain well and its toll. This, this was something else entirely.

A sharp toothed grin answered his question. “Midi-Chlorians, the physical manifestation of the force within all living things. The Jedi may have discovered them, but I have peeled away their secrets.” The Muun raked his fingers roughly through Obi-wan’s hair, pulling out several strands which were discarded with a look of distaste.

“What I have done Jedi, is taken just one, just a single midi-chlorian attached to your lifeforce, and annihilated it.”

Obi-wan’s heart pounded against his chest. Impossible. Midi-chlorians could transform and change or even disperse, but not be created or destroyed.

His disbelief must have shown as the Muun sneered. “Foolish Jedi, you think with your antiquated morals that you could learn anything about the true nature of the force? Let’s try again shall we?”

The Muun closed his eyes as screams began. After all, he wanted to relish them before they slowly gave way to silence.

 

* * *

 

 

There was very little activity around Janus Greejatus’ Mansion, but impressive amounts of security. It didn’t take long between both Qui-Gon and Xanatos to have a full idea of what they would be facing to get inside undetected, but once there remaining so would be much more tricky.

“We don’t even know if he’s there.” Xanatos pointed out, frown in place as he kept an eye on the manor through the binoculars.

Qui-Gon hummed reluctantly agreeing while he rubbed at his chin. It was true that near of them could feel Master Kenobi’s presence in the Mansion, but Qui-Gon felt sure that the man wasn’t far.

“You feel we should take a less direct route.” Qui-Gon prompted his padawan.

Xanatos nodded, “Until we know more it’s too risky to storm in. Greejatus could be detaining Master Kenobi onsite, but if he’s not, then Master Kenobi will be placed in even greater danger.”

There was no question now of Ben Kenobi simply being “missing” as the council had so carefully put it. The force resonated with another Jedi’s distress, although where and why was still unknown.

“I believe you are right.” Qui-Gon conceded despite wishing to rescue Kenobi as soon as possible. “What do you suggest?”

Xanatos bit his lip as he considered his answer. “One of us should go into the city and talk with some of the witnesses that Master Kenobi spoke with. One of them might know something more.”

Qui-Gon wasn’t sure how fruitful such a venture would be, and danger lurked within that path, but he could sense that it was the right direction to go in.

“I think I should go.” Xanatos tacked on, looking at Qui-Gon inquiringly.

Qui-gon nearly winced. He would rather not send his Padawan alone on a planet where another Jedi had been recently captured. Still, the force whispered that Qui-Gon should remain where he was, and if a padawan was never allowed to put themselves into danger they would never become a knight.

“Very well, I will keep an eye on the mansion.”

Xanatos left shortly after that, leaving Qui-Gon to settle in for a long weight. There was something he was meant to see, he would just need to be patient.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s such a delight to watch the process of a lifeform falling apart from the inside out.” The Muun commented, his hand spread over Obi-wan’s torso, feeling each tremble. “With most, of course, they can’t handle the removal of too many midi-chlorians before death occurs.”

Obi-wan believed the Sith now. He could feel it. The pieces of his existence shredded until there was nothing left.

“That will not be the case with you of course. A Jedi, you in particular, have more than your fair share of midi-chlorians to destroy. Yes… we are free to continue until you tell me what I wish to know.”

Obi-wan tried to speak, but had to swallow dryly before he could, “I highly doubt you would stop even if I did.” He croaked.

Plagueis leaned close, barring his teeth. “You may be right Jedi, but if you give me what I want I will allow death to claim you.” The Sith sneered, squeezing Obi-wan’s face in his hand. “You Jedi rejoice in rejoining the force after all, but if you do not bend- I will destroy every midi-chlorian that makes up your soul until there is nothing left.”

Obi-wan shuddered, a tear crawling down his cheek, he didn’t doubt the Sith. In death, the Medi-chlorians that comprised a living being dispersed, transforming into the intangible energy that comprised the force. His medi-chlorians were being destroyed. His soul, if one wished to call it that, would cease to be. It was a horror that Obi-wan could have never even imagined.

Surely this was not why the force brought him back? Or perhaps- this was the way it fixed its mistake. Obi-Wan Kenobi was meant to be just child on Coruscant. Perhaps there could be only one of him and now that he had done his duty and warned the council the force was allowing him to be erased from existence.

The very thought felt like a betrayal. Whether he to the force or the force to him he could not tell.

He couldn’t give in yet though.

The Sith may have been largely silent about his own identity but Obi-wan could sense it clearly now. The Muun wasn’t the apprentice.

The darkness that crept into his being only to rip another tear in his existence was stronger and older than Obi-wan had ever felt.

The Muun was the Sith Lord, the creator of the monster that destroyed the Republic and the Jedi. And Obi-wan had walked straight into it’s Den.

 

* * *

 

 

It didn’t take Xanatos long to arrive back in town once he got back to the speeders that he and Qui-Gon had rented. The low-profile vehicles allowed them to travel more easily and largely without notice. Once he arrived it as relatively simple to scout out the locations and some of the witnesses that Kenobi had reported to the council about. There was a common factor between them all, but it wasn’t one that Xanatos could see easily much to his annoyance.

“Xanatos? What are you doing here my boy?” A familiar voice spoke from behind Xanatos making him turn in surprise.

“Palpatine?” A smile spread on Xanatos’ face. The man was a good friend of his father’s, and Xanatos though he had only met the man a few times when he had been granted leave to visit Telos. “I am here on a mission actually.” Xanatos said proudly.

“Ah,” Palpatine said impressed. “I should have known better than to think a Jedi such as yourself would bother with a vacation, even on such a beautiful planet as Naboo.” The man stepped forward and pulled Xanatos into a one-armed hug. “It’s good to see you, my man! You shall have to tell me all about it, and who knows! Perhaps I can help out.”

Xanatos smiled in return and allowed himself to be led by the arm to a private veranda.

“Now, tell me what in the world the Jedi would have business with on a world such as Naboo? Not anything too dangerous I would hope?” Palpatine looked curiously at Xanatos who shook his head in reply.

“I don’t believe so, but honestly the council hasn’t told my master and I much. We are looking for another Jedi who went missing several days ago. As far as we can tell Greejatus has something to do with it, but I am not quite sure what…”

“That scoundrel?” Palpatine said with distaste, “I would not like to think the Jedi would have dealings with a man such at that… You don’t think that the Jedi you are thinking for could have gone… rogue, do you?” Palpatine asked hesitantly.

Xanatos took a step back in surprise. The thought hadn’t originally occurred to him, but now that the suggestion had been made Xanatos felt unsure. He and his Master knew almost nothing about Kenobi, only his mysterious arrival in Illum and equally mysterious disappearance. Xanatos seemed to be the only one suspicious of it all. Once the council had cleared the Jedi Master, Qui-Gon had seemingly discarded all doubt. Sometimes his master was far too trusting.

Still it wouldn’t do to show doubt to any outside of the Jedi until there was some proof against the man. “...We don’t believe so.” Xanatos settled on saying. “It’s more likely he’s been captured.”

Palpatine looked doubtful. “Greejatus may be a miscreant, but I highly doubt he could go up against a Jedi. Still, if you need help investigating perhaps I can be of service. I am only visiting Naboo, but I once grew up here and my family had connections with his.”

Xanatos felt a wave of excitement, this is exactly what he was hoping for, even better that his contact was someone he already knew he could trust. “It would be very much appreciated.”

Palpatine smiled. “Very well, no time to lose. I will comm the man now and secure us an invitation.”

Xanatos nodded, glad of the help. Qui-Gon would be proud of him for securing a way into the building so soon. Though he didn’t trust the strange Jedi, his Master had taken a liking to him and Xanatos could tell he was worried.

The conversation was quick and, sure enough, Palpatine was invited (as well as whatever friends he was with) to come to the mansion for lunch. Thanking him for the invitation with a wink to Xanatos Palpatine ended the call shortly. “There, easy enough!” Palpatine pronounced. “My transport isn’t far from here, I believe we have just enough time to pick up your Master from wherever he is lurking before we head to the Mansion.”

The man was already happily walking towards where he parked his vehicle, gesturing for Xanatos to follow. The young Jedi caught up within moments, “I will need to comm him and give him an update first. He’s already near the mansion so it might look suspicious to pick him up from there before landing.” Xanatos commented, excited that things were moving so smoothly. In the back of his mind, something ringed that not all was as it seemed, but Xanatos pushed it aside. His master would know what to do, and Palpatine was his friend. The danger was within the mansion, and he would not be alone when he faced it.

 

* * *

 

 

A little over an hour went by before anything of note occurred on the Mansion's grounds. It was frustrating that so much of it was technology-based, if it had been sentient it would have been much more simple to rescue the other Jedi. Actually, even if there was one sentient Qui-Gon would have made an attempt with or without Xanatos. The force was becoming more and more urgent that something needed to be done. Only, at the same time, bit by trickling bit, Ben’s presence was fading away. It was something Qui-Gon had never felt before, but he could only assume it meant one of two things. Kenobi was slowly being moved away or the man was dying.

When a man stepped outside, Qui-Gon was almost instantly on his feet ready to respond. However, just as soon as the man appeared, he was gone. Disappearing into a side building that Qui-Gon assumed was a private hanger. He was proven right moment later when a sleek speeder appeared briefly before leaving to the west. Qui-Gon was tense as he reached out his senses, he hadn’t seen Ben leave via the transport, but that meant little.

No. The Jedi Master’s presence continued, its slow and steady fade continuing without respite. Qui-Gon frowned as he considered what he had just seen. The mystery man’s appearance had been brief, but long enough for Qui-Gon to memorize his features. It was definitely not Greejatus, so that left the man’s identity unknown. Perhaps the newcomer was in part responsible for Ben’s disappearance. The force seemed to approve the theory and Qui-Gon considered comming Xanatos to alert him of the newcomer, but decided to wait, Xanatos would check in shortly and they could discuss the details of what they had discovered.

Sure enough not long afterward, Qui-Gon felt his comlink vibrate, indicating an incoming message.

“Padawan.” Qui-Gon greeted speaking into the comlink.

“Master.” Xanatos returned warmly. “I have good news, I ran into a friend of mine from Naboo. He knows Greejatus and managed to get us invited into the mansion for lunch.”

Qui-Gon felt a spike of suspicion. That was remarkably… lucky. “Are you with this friend of yours now?” Qui-Gon had to know if their conversation would be overheard or not.

“Yes, we are getting into his speeder now. If you meet us on the other side of the west ridge we should be able to pick you up without any notice.”

Qui-Gon grimaced, he didn’t know who Xanatos’ friend was or why the young man felt that he could trust him, but Qui-Gon did not. He did, however, have a plan.

When the speeder had left it temporarily had disabled the security for a few moments. Qui-Gon would get into place so that he could use the gap of security to get inside. He would then be able to explore the mansion while Xanatos and his ‘friend’ distracted Greejatus, and if worse came to worse then they could back the other up. Unfortunately, he didn’t want to tell Xanatos all this when their conversation would likely be heard by an unknown factor.

“I think it best that I keep an eye on the outside of the mansion, Padawan.”

The moment of silence on the other showed Xanatos’ surprise. “...Very well, Master, I will stay in contact.”

Qui-Gon was glad that the young man had taken the hint. Xanatos knew him well enough to know that Qui-Gon was unlikely to simply sit and wait while his padawan did most the work. Therefore, the young man knew that either Qui-Gon was doing or would be doing something he didn’t want to be overheard. In this case, of course, it was the last.

“Make sure you do.” Qui-Gon ended the conversation and moved to the nearest gap of security he had spotted. When the transport came through he would be ready.

He felt Xanatos’ presence draw close, and so was ready when the speeder crested the hill. It was the same speeder than had left less than two hours earlier.

His hand went to his lightsaber as worried realization set in. It had been a trap, and Xanatos was walking right into it.

The speeder landed and rolled into the hangar bay. Within moments, Qui-Gon was moving using the force to enhance his speed and make it to the Mansion just as security measures came back online.

 

* * *

 

 

“He made it in,” Depa Billaba remarked as she watched through the macrobinoculars.

Mace Windu made a small noise of acknowledgment. “Qui-Gon is one of the best Jedi Masters in the field. He will be able to handle himself.”

Billaba seemed to be not nearly as convinced. “He has never faced a Sith, and he has his padawan with him.”

“We do not know if it is the Sith yet.” Mace glanced at his fellow council member. “And if it is… we will be here to provide any additional support they need.”

Both Jedi went silent as they focused their attention on the force and the two Jedi that had disappeared into its depths. With any luck, their reinforcement to the mission would never be called upon, but if it was, they would be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now everyone's in trouble ;)
> 
> If you would like to check me out on tumblr my Star Wars blog is chibiobiwan.tumblr.com Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think! Seriously every comment makes me so happy you have no idea.
> 
> WARNING:  
> This chapter has intense torture of a main character. If this is triggering for you, please do not read.


	6. Rescue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit worse before they get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys, sorry about the long wait on this chapter. I ran out of prewritten chapters so now updates might be coming a bit slower. Don't worry though, I do have the entire story plotted out :)

Xanatos was more curious than annoyed by his Master’s decision to remain separate. He found it unlikely that Qui-Gon wasn’t also making his way into the mansion, but was unsure how. Palpatine didn’t take the news nearly so well.

 

“Surely he doesn’t mean for you to go in by yourself my friend!” Palpatine exclaimed. “Greejatus is likely a very dangerous man if he’s managed to capture a Jedi Master!” Concern was plain on the man’s face.

 

“I’ll be with you, plus I can take care of myself.” Xanatos reassured, besides his Master would likely be inside ...unfortunately, he couldn’t tell Palpatine that. His master had been clear that he didn’t wish to share any information with whoever Xanatos was with. “Greejatus won’t expect a friend of yours to be a Jedi, and my Master can provide backup better if he’s not getting into trouble himself.” That would have been true if Qui-Gon would ever be the last person to get his hands messy. “It’ll be fine.” Xanatos smiled charmingly while Palpatine looked doubtfully on.

 

With a put upon sigh, Palpatine finally acquiesced. “Very well, but I don’t like it! You Jedi are always putting yourself in such dangerous situations.”

 

It was only a few minutes before they arrived at the expansive Mansion and were safely landed. The grounds were meticulously taken care of and well-secured something Xanatos was well aware of from scouting the location earlier. He glanced surreptitiously towards Qui-Gon’s last known location, but could neither sense or spot anything in particular. Was he already inside then?

 

Palpatine lightly touched Xanatos’ elbow. “Follow my lead. If Master Kenobi is here then I will make sure you find him.” Somehow the innocuous statement felt much more ominous than it should have.

 

They entered the mansion side by side, greeted by a protocol droid that happily greeted Palpatine (and his guest) before leading them to the dining room.

 

“Palpatine!” Greejatus greeted as they entered the room, getting to his feet as soon as he had spotted them. “It’s good to see you… again.” There was a strange sort of trepidation in the man’s voice as well as frustration.

 

Palpatine was nothing but smiles as he returned the greeting. “Ah Greejatus, it’s been some time! How are you, my friend?” There was a double meaning to Palpatine’s words, something Xanatos wouldn’t have caught if not for Greejatus’ reaction.

 

“Yes, of course!” Greejatus was flustered. “I’ve been quite well I assure you.” The man’s eyes flickered to Xanatos. “And who is this young man? Bit young for you I would think.” The joke fell flat. Xanatos only caught Palpatine’s glare out of the corner of his eye before it fell away to a simple look of annoyance.

 

“This is Xanatos of Telos, I am sure you are aware of his father Crion.”

 

True surprise flashed across Greejatus’ face, “Crion?” Now speculation took over the shock. Xanatos didn’t mind being introduced by his non-Jedi identity, Master Dooku had told him that it could be occasionally useful and while Qui-Gon didn’t approve, Xanatos couldn’t see any harm in it.

 

“Well then, in that case, it’s good to meet you Xanatos!” Greejatus stepped forward to shake Xanatos’ hand but seemed to look to Palpatine for direction.

 

Palpatine gave a strained smile. “Now that introductions are done perhaps we should sit and catch up.”

 

“Yes! Yes, of course.” Greejatus’ nerves were showing and suspicion began to grow in Xanatos mind.

 

Not showing any of his own doubts Xanatos took a seat. The food was brought in shortly and though it had already been plated out of sight Xanatos could sense no warning from the force of any poisons. Not that he thought that there would be, but there was something strange between Palpatine and Greejatus. He wondered if he had been a fool, now suspecting his father’s friend might have been involved in Master Kenobi’s disappearance.

  


“Palpatine.” The coldly hissed name echoed as the door to the dining room slammed open revealing an unknown Muun. “What are you doing?” The Muun’s eyes never strayed from Xanatos.

 

Palpatine stood, shaken, but trying to maintain appearances and Xanatos quickly followed. The force rang with danger.  “I was simply exploring other prospects as our current undertaking has been unfruitful.”

 

The Muun bared his teeth, “You fool, one is enough, do you want to bring the entire hive upon us?!”

 

Xanatos activated his lightsaber as he backed up towards a window. He had sensed nothing from Palpatine but the evidence was quickly stacking up against his supposed ally. And the Muun… Danger practically reeked off the new comer’s force presence.

 

“What have you done with Master Kenobi?” Xanatos asked forthrightly as it was clear that if the facade had ever been believed it was clearly not now. He sent a warning and plea for help to his master. He was going to need that backup sooner rather than later.

 

The Muun sneered ignoring his question, “This one is just a padawan. Where’s the master?” The question wasn’t directed to Xanatos and when he heard Palpatine reply his felt his stomach drop. A trap.

 

“He’s watching the mansion. No doubt he will try and get in soon, the boy has already warned him.” Palpatine looked frustrated. “The boy knows nothing, but I had hoped to capture the master-”

 

The Muun snarled. “You have gone too far Palpatine. You are still just an apprentice, and may have ruined what I have worked for years to achieve.”

 

The Muun’s yellow eyes flickered back to Xanatos. “Kill him. He’s useless to us now.”

 

Xanatos held his lightsaber in front of him, his breath growing heavy as darkness seemed to fill the room. “Master, surely if we keep him alive the Jedi will be easier-”

 

“Silence! Was I wrong to keep you alive?!” The Muun roared.

 

Palpatine’s eyes were cast down in deference. “No, Master. I will take care of my mistake.”

 

Master. Where are you?

 

Xanatos would not be able to win this fight, not on his own, and not now.

 

His master would not come in time.

 

Palpatine walked towards him, still as of yet unarmed, but to assured of himself to give Xanatos any comfort. Time for plan B.

 

Xanatos flipped his lightsaber behind him cracking the reinforced glass just as he flipped out of the now empty window pane. Glass was still falling around him as he lept, cutting into his face and hands. He landed with both feet and left hand planted on the ground, lightsaber raised just in time against the red saber that came down upon him.

 

“Such a waste.” Palpatine sneered. “You could have been amazing Xanatos.”

 

Xanatos skittered away as he blocked the second blow. He needed to run, but couldn’t.  Whoever or whatever Palpatine truly was would be too dangerous to turn his back on.

 

“What are you talking about?” Xanatos gasped as both sabers were forced inches away from his face- lightly burning his skin with their intense heat.

 

Palpatine’s eyes shined as he leaned forward. “There is much more to the galaxy than just the Jedi Xanatos.”

  


* * *

  
  


Qui-Gon made it into the building without detection, the force reaffirming but warning him to be careful. It was unsettling to realize that the danger that had emanated from the mansion had now become a thick fog of unease and… darkness. Alarm swept through Qui-Gon even as he crept through the halls, trying to sense what direction Ben was in. None of this was right, he had never felt-

 

The darkness abruptly began to grow stronger, and with silent urgency Qui-Gon maneuvered into a shadowed alcove and muted his force presence, just in case.

 

The darkness swirled within the force, as a portion of the wall not far from Qui-Gon gave way revealing a Muun with its teeth bared in anger. For a moment, Qui-Gon thought for certain he was revealed. His hand gripped his saber, ready to activate, but no. The Muun turned away and stalked down the hall going the other direction. The force was with him.

 

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, heady with silent thanks for the force’s guidance.

 

The imitation of a wall began to close before the Muun was out of sight but the force urged him to take the risk. He could not gather the force around him without alerting any surrounding force user of his presence, which he had no doubt that the Muun was. At the last possible moment, he darted across the hall and slipped into the hidden passage. Waiting for a moment, as he listened to the force.

 

He remained unnoticed.

 

The passage seemingly lead to a dead end, but within moments, Qui-Gon discovered the controls. An elevator. The room abruptly sank down, far faster than Qui-Gon had expected but before he could fully acclimate, the elevator slowed and came to a stop.

 

A door now laid in front of him, but more importantly, he could finally sense Ben’s close presence in the force. Qui-Gon gripped his lightsaber as he pulled the door open, ready for any enemies that could be guarding the way.

 

Nothing.

 

A stark white hallway with door, after door. Qui-Gon began walking down it, only to be staggered by the feeling of death reeking from the first door. Wide-eyed but determined Qui-Gon continued, there was nothing in that room that could be saved. Not anymore.

 

The pain and suffering that buffered him as he walked the hall scraped away at his composure, the darkness he could feel in direct conflict with the brightly lit hall he could see.

 

The last door was the only room had still had anything alive.

 

Before Qui-Gon could open the door alarm and fear swept through his bond with Xanatos. His padawan needed his help.

 

Qui-Gon had no time for indecision.

 

He broke through the door and took in the sight of an unconscious and mostly naked Ben Kenobi even as he moved forward to stab his lightsaber into the containment field generator holding the Jedi Master hostage. He was barely able to catch the man in time as he fell, but was out the door again as soon as he had Kenobi in his arms.

 

There was something wrong.

 

Xanatos’ desperation was becoming stronger, and no matter how fast Qui-Gon ran he felt he would not get there in time. And in his arms- Kenobi felt like he was near death. There had only been a few times Qui-Gon had felt another force sensitive so weak and they had died shortly after. Had he forsaken his padawan to save a dead man?

 

The force pushed him on. He arrived on the main floor and immediately ran to where he sensed his padawan’s distress.

 

Don’t go that way.

 

The message was so clear that Qui-Gon stumbled before continuing on. He would not abandon his padawan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I am a bit evil. I think I enjoy cliffhangers too much, both reading and writing them. The next chapter is on its way though and should be up in two weeks or so. :)


	7. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xanatos faces off against Palpatine while Qui-Gon is confronted by Darth Plagueis himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait, this chapter was a bit of a struggle for me to write. Good news is that we are now more than half way through the story :)

Xanatos felt himself growing more and more tired with each passing blow. No matter what he did, how clever he tried to be- Palpatine seemed to see through it all.

 

“What else? What else is there?!” Xanatos gasped, desperate. Qui-Gon had left him. His master’s sense of duty stealing away any protection Xanatos might have had.

 

Palpatine’s eyes lit up at the question, “Power, my young friend. Freedom.” Palpatine’s gaze darkened. Within milliseconds, the man slid beneath Xanatos’ guard twisting their lightsabers together and ripping Xanatos saber from his hand. It landed uselessly yard away and chest heaving Xanatos turned to meet the death blow plunging towards him.

 

_Master._

 

Xanatos called to Qui-Gon one last time. A hundred emotions tangling within the one word. Hurt. Betrayal. Love. Anger. Goodbye.

 

_NO!_

 

The answer was too late.

 

Xanatos was violently knocked to the side, a violet lightsaber clashing against the Sith’s red.

 

Still shocked from his close brush with death Xanatos gasped as Mace Windu fought against Palpatine.

 

Master Windu?!

 

Perhaps Xanatos had died and he was just dreaming. The mind was a strange thing, as it died it imagined a future that would never exist.

 

Depa Billaba joined the fight. Justice would be done- even if Xanatos was just imagining it.

 

“Master!” Palpatine hissed out, jumping away from the two Jedis attacking him.

 

However, there was no one watching from the broken glass window.

 

“No, no, NO!” Rage twisted Palpatine’s features and suddenly his movements were much faster, the darkness exploding around them. Mace Windu, however, was able to meet each movement with his form of Vaapad and through it all Billaba fought at his side, filling any holes in his defense that were left from the pure aggression of the VII Form.

 

It was all over in a moment. Rage pushed Palpatine forward and anger gave swift retribution. Master Windu’s blade swept upward, trusting Billaba’s saber to take the defense, and severed Palpatine's hand- sending both limb and lightsaber flying.

 

Palpatine fell to his knees whimpering. Xanatos scrambled to his feet and two lightsabers were placed at his attacker’s neck, crosshatched so that escape would be nigh impossible.

 

“Well?” He gasped out, still jolted from the swift change in events. “Aren’t you going to kill him?”

 

Mace Windu’s expression was dark enough, the temptation clear, but it was Billaba that answered with a disapproving look. “Jedi are not executioners, Padawan. We will take him back to the temple once we retrieve Master Kenobi. Where is your Master?”

 

“What? No! Can’t you sense-” Xanatos tried to warn them, but Palpatine used the slight distraction to bring up his only remaining hand. He shouldn’t have been able to do anything, a lightsaber's reach far further than arm's width.

 

Xanatos didn’t completely understand what he saw, but the force screamed with it. Lightning shot from Palpatine’s hands throwing back the Jedi Masters and releasing Palpatine. Master Windu and Billaba’s screams echoed through the air as the Sith stumbled to his feet, not once releasing the lightning that seemed to rip at the force itself.

 

Xanatos had to stop him! The padawan ran forward, his lightsaber in hand. The lightning stopped only for the force to call out a warning too late as Palpatine turned his attention to Xanatos instead. He had never seen anyone but Yoda move so quickly, even with one hand the man was able to move past Xanatos and behind him, then to Xanatos’ horror his hand holding his lightsaber was forced to his neck. Palpatine’s stump arm was wrapped around him and pulling him back.

 

“You have a choice now my boy,” Palpatine whispered in his ear. “Come with me, join me, or die.” Master Billaba and Windu were beginning to recover now, surely they would save him-

 

“Stay where you are or I’ll kill him.” Palpatine spat out, dragging Xanatos away faster now. The Jedi Masters hesitated before Mace Windu got to his feet with lightsaber in hand. “A Jedi is never a hostage.” Mace looked grimly at Xanatos. “I am sorry Padawan.”

 

Palpatine hissed, “See how they betray you?!”

 

Windu ran towards them, Billaba following soon after, both catching up quickly. Xanatos’ lightsaber burned as he pulled towards his neck. With nothing short of desperation Xantos managed to reach the control and deactivate the saber just as Palpatine forced the weapon past the point of no return.

 

There was a brief struggle as Xanatos tried to escape Palpatine’s hold now that there was no longer an imminent threat to his life. The Jedi Masters joined the fray and chaos ensued. Palpatine seemed to realize that he was sorely outnumbered and tried to escape, but Billaba and Windu had him cornered. With a snarl, he lashed out with force lightning once again, but the Jedi Masters were prepared this time and managed to bring up their sabers.

 

The Sith had made a fatal mistake, however.

 

Xanatos was still behind him.

 

The lightning crackled to an end as Palpatine tried to draw in a rattling breath- staring at the dark blue blade poking through his chest. Xanatos withdrew his lightsaber allowing Palpatine to slump to the ground.

 

“Fool.” The man snarled. Xanatos could already feel the man’s life force fading. Hacking coughs rasped from the Sith’s throat as he used his dying breath to curse them, “This isn’t the end. Nooo, it won’t ever end. My master will destroy you all.” Rage seeped from the sith’s every pore. Xanatos stared in horrified fascination with both his eyes and sense of the force. All around them, the force swirled with darkness, all culminating around the Sith. When Palpatine eye’s met his own, it was already too late.

 

With Palpatine’s dying breath his essence lashed out one last time towards the fool who had killed him.

 

 

* * *

 

_Danger._

 

If the force could plead, this was surely what it would feel like. Despite Qui-Gon’s stubbornness, it began to feel as though he was moving through molasses. He had never before fought against the force’s will, but he couldn’t abandon Xanatos! Not when the man he was carrying was likely dead as it was.

 

Qui-Gon wasn’t sure what he noticed first, the weak clasp on his robe or the soft whisper.

 

“Master?” Ben’s voice was faint, to the point where if Qui-Gon hadn’t been trying to use the force to extend his senses he wouldn’t have heard it.

 

Oh force, the man was alive.

 

“Ben. It’s alright, we’re going to get out of here.” All of us. It was a promise to himself as much as to the man.

 

“Master. I’m sorry.” The words came out in pieces. Still shaky and hardly there. They made no sense as well. Ben must think he was someone else.

 

Qui-Gon replied despite knowing the Jedi in his arms was incoherent. “Shh, you have done nothing to be sorry for.”

 

Qui-Gon felt more than heard the hitch in Ben’s breath. “It hurt.   Master.  I thought…   … nothing left.”

 

The Jedi Master didn’t understand, he wished that Ben’s life force would strengthen. As it was, it was like holding the dying embers of life in his arms.

 

He didn’t know how to reassure the man he had hoped to be his friend… and perhaps more.

 

“It’s over now.”

 

“ **Hardly** ” The darkness had obscured the figure until it was too late, and the warnings that the force had been raining down upon him suddenly went silent. _Too late_.

 

The force told Qui-Gon all that he needed to know. “Sith” It was as much of a statement as condemnation.

 

The Muun sneered, “How eloquent.” Red eyes swept from Qui-Gon to the man he was holding. “Give him to me.”

 

Qui-Gon took a step back. “Never.” He didn’t know what the Sith had done to Ben, but he would allow it to continue over his dead body.

 

A snarl twisted the Sith’s face, his blood red eyes darkening. In the distance Qui-Gon could feel the danger his padawan was in spike. Within the instant of his distraction the Sith outstretched his hand and ripped Ben away from his grasp.

 

“No!” Qui-Gon tried to catch Ben before it was too late, yet the Sith’s control was absolute, and Ben flew down the hall before dropping like a rag doll at the Sith’s feet.

 

Qui-Gon’s lightsaber was in hand before Ben hit the ground. He used the distraction that the Sith had created to come within striking distance of the Sith. His blade was met instantly, sparking light between them.

 

“You are outclassed, Jedi.”

 

“The force will guide me.” Qui-Gon did not need to close his eyes to fall into his connection with the force. The two of them fought with Obi-wan at their feet. The Sith’s strikes were surprisingly powerful, taking a toll on Qui-Gon’s endurance every time their blade met. The force whispered of a chance just before a flame of darkness within the force flickered to nothing.

 

This time, it was the Sith caught off guard. His focus on the evil that had just been destroyed. “That cretin, it was just a boy!” Qui-Gon pressed his advantage even as he could now clearly sense that was not the case at all.

 

“Hardly. You didn’t think that the Jedi would send us alone to face one such as you?!” Qui-Gon lorded the fact over the Sith despite only now realizing it himself.

 

The Sith’s eyes widened with anger as he too sensed what Qui-Gon already had.

 

The lump of Qui-Gon’s cloak wrapped around Ben now laid behind Qui-Gon. The Sith glanced between them, “It seems you have a choice Jedi.”

 

Another strike behind them. “Oh, what is that?”

 

Qui-Gon was successfully pushing the Sith further down the hall- away from Ben. He sensed deception in it.

 

“Either choose your friend, or me.”  the Sith’s sharp teeth were revealed with his smile, and within an instant, the Muun’s non-saber hand was stretched out, force pushing Qui-Gon back. Having expected such a move, Qui-gon spun in midair, landing on his feet just behind where Ben lay. Only to realize that the Sith was escaping.

  
Qui-Gon started to go after the devil, leaping over Ben, only to stumble to a stop. The force was confirming what the Sith had alluded to. Ben was dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yes I did just kill of Palpatine. I know that might have seemed to easy, but Palpatine really isn't nearly as strong as he would have eventually become. If we go by Palpatine's fight with Mace at the end of RotS the two are equally matched with Mace just a bit better, combine that will Billaba having been trained by Mace and both being used to each others fighting styles... well Palpatine didn't really have much of a chance. Plus, it's nice for Xanatos to kill the man who would/will eventually cause him to fall... >.>
> 
> Next Chapter: Repercussions


	8. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Waking Up Dead: 
> 
> Qui-Gon and Xanatos face the Sith as they make their attempt to save Obi-wan from a fate worse than death.
> 
> Now on Waking Up Dead:
> 
> They may have escaped, but the consequences of what has happened are dire, and Xanatos is left on the brink between light and dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! This chapter is unbetaed so sorry for any mistakes that I missed in my final edit. I am planning on updating again in one to two weeks, hope you guys enjoy!

The Sith escaped.

 

Qui-Gon would have been hard pressed to choose to bring death over saving a life any day, but the force’s will allowed him to choose Ben without guilt.

 

He regathered Ben in his arms, the man’s limp body would have suggested unconsciousness if not for Ben’s half open eyes- their light faint and growing dimmer.

 

Qui-Gon held him close and made his way to where he could sense the light of other Jedi. They needed to get Ben to the healers. Soon.

 

“Hold on. Please hold on.” Qui-Gon murmured into Ben’s ear whose head was now nestled on Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

 

Ben tried to reply, but whatever whispers made were lost, too weak to form coherent words.

 

Qui-Gon was able to cover the distance quickly, only to be greeted by the sight of Mace and Billaba hovering over his unconscious Padawan.

 

Qui-Gon’s heart constricted. He had not felt… No, he had. His throat constricted as he realized that in the same flash of darkness that had allowed him to gain the upper hand against the Sith, his Padawan had been harmed, perhaps irreparably.

 

Mace caught sight of him and hurried to reassure that Xanatos was okay, just knocked out. Still, it would be better to return to Coruscant where the temple’s healers could check the boy over.

 

The Jedi Master’s gaze fell to Ben, “...Is he dead?”

 

It shouldn’t have been a surprising question, but it hit Qui-Gon hard. After all Bens’s life force continued to fade, and even a dead Jedi often resonated in the force for a time until the last of what made them who they were, was gone.

 

“No.” Qui-Gon’s voice came out in a growl, carrying far more emotion than he wished. “We need to hurry.”

 

Mace’s eyes widened at the information, remorse for a fallen comrade changing to worried curiosity. Things moved quickly then, as Xanatos was gathered in Billaba’s arms and they made their way to a cruiser that could take them all to the other Jedi Master’s starship. The covert nature of the mission had required landing the ship a safe distance away. Qui-Gon could only hope that that safe distance wouldn’t cost the life of the man they were sent to save.

 

Once they were on the ship, Billaba laid Xanatos down on one of the bunks in the living quarters. Qui-Gon could see Mace’s glance, expecting him to follow suit with Ben. Qui-Gon was about to, he was, but his arms had a mind of their own, tightening their hold on the thin man in his arms. He chose to instead ignore Mace’s questioning look and sat on the bunk opposite of Xanatos. Ben felt so weak… If only he could…

 

The force whispered.

 

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, concentrating on what it was trying to tell him. He was no healer but perhaps… Qui-Gon reached out. He shouldn’t have been able to reach Ben, not when the man was so weak, not when they hardly knew each other, but somehow Ben was reaching back.

 

Qui-Gon grabbed hold, wrapping his strength through what was left of Ben's

 

_Hold on._

 

_Master._

 

Why? Why did he keep calling him that? 

 

Their energies intermingled as Qui-Gon held Ben close, nothing so concise as words was shared between them, but so much more was felt . Longing, wistfulness, love.

 

The last hurt far more than it should have. The depth of what Ben felt… it stretched to every part of the man, and yet it was meant for someone else.

 

Gentle care trickled through as Ben felt the ache that had sparked in Qui-Gon. He sent reassurance in return. He didn’t understand his own attachment. Qui-Gon could feel the goodness that seeped within Ben, but they hardly even knew one another. Still Qui-Gon was not one to ignore truths he found within himself, unlike many Jedi, he found it foolish to hide behind an emotionless fade, or pretend that attachment was an avoidable part of life.

 

“Master?” Xanatos croaked from across the room.

 

Qui-Gon turned his gaze towards Xanatos, his connection with Ben weakening for a moment, and with it his sense of Ben’s life force. Alarmed he hurried to strengthen their bond, no, that didn’t make any sense, but all the same, Qui-Gon stretched out his focus to strengthen whatever it was between them.  He had a feeling that if he didn’t whatever help was to be had at the temple would be far too late.

 

“Xanatos.” Qui-Gon’s didn’t dare break his concentration by looking at Xanatos again, “Are you alright?” Relief that his padawan had woken from whatever the sith had done carried along their connection. An edge of worry trickled back.

 

Hurt and Irritation spiked in the force. Qui-Gon could hear Xanatos sitting up though he could not see it. “I’m fine.” No thanks to you, went unspoken.

 

The worry grew stronger.

 

Qui-Gon felt the strain of his focus being pulled in two directions. He couldn’t let Ben die.

 

“You were very brave Xanatos.” Perhaps Qui-Gon could appease his padawan by acknowledging that Xanatos had done well.

 

Instead the warmth of pride, coldness echoed back in the force.

 

“They were going to let me die.”

 

Qui-Gon looked up sharply at the monotone voice, only to jerk back almost immediately when he felt what his distraction had caused. A seed of worry coming from the man in his arms sprung forth into full bloom, though Ben could not move or speak, the warning was clear.

 

_Don’t let him go._

 

Qui-Gon knew the flip side to what Ben was asking. If he let Ben go for more than an instant what was left of the man wouldn’t be able to hold on.

 

I will save you both. Qui-Gon mentally answered, unsure whether the message could even be received.

 

The coldness emanating from the other side of the room grew stronger as the silence extended.

 

“What happened, padawan? Tell me.” Qui-Gon hoped with the direct order that Xanatos would focus on the here and now, as well as explain what had happened to so greatly affect his padawan’s force presence.

 

“You won’t even look at me.” Xanatos ignored the ignore, his whisper carrying hurt and anger.

 

_Let me go._

 

No

 

_Help him._

 

Qui-Gon’s breath hitched. Ben felt so far away, but there was something the man sensed, something he knew that Qui-Gon didn’t. There was a familiarity with the situation that shouldn’t have been there.

 

“I can’t,” Qui-Gon confessed. “Ben is dying, if I-”

 

Xanatos cut through, “You choose him over me.”

 

Qui-Gon’s heart dropped. “No!” For the third time Qui-Gon jerked his gaze away to see his apprentice. Pain shined in Xanatos’ eyes, but it was quickly morphing into something else entirely.

 

For the first time, Qui-Gon saw the potential for darkness in his padawan.

 

_Save him._

 

Qui-Gon could feel Ben fading within his arms.

 

Betrayal practically reeked from Xanatos.

 

Qui-Gon made his decision.

 

He turned back to Ben.

 

_Don’t be a fool, Qui-Gon._

 

I’m not.

 

Xanatos would have to understand. Qui-Gon would deal with this once they were back at the temple and another’s life wasn’t at stake.

 

Qui-Gon spoke, but his focus was once again on keeping Ben alive. “Xanatos, I don’t know what happened, but the Sith twist the truth. Don’t allow them to twist you as well.”

 

Silence answered from the other side of the room.

 

After a moment Qui-Gon heard the soft shuffle of Xanatos getting to his feet.

 

“You’re just like them.”

 

Qui-Gon searched for an answer, something to reassure his padawan, but he didn’t even understand what had happened.

 

“Is this the greater good, Master? To choose strangers over-” Xanatos’ voice broke. Nothing more was said.

 

Quick footsteps echoed before the sound of the door swishing opened and closed. Qui-gon clenched his eyes shut, whatever Xanatos thought, Qui-gon was not choosing Ben over him, but Xanatos could wait while Ben.... Ben could not.

 

Sorrow stretched between the two souls left in the room.

 

_______________________

 

Qui-Gon didn’t see Xanatos again for the rest of the trip. Mace and Billaba made brief appearances and seemed to believe that Ben was likely a hopeless case. Questions were asked, but Qui-Gon brushed them off, concerned as he had been with Xanatos that any distraction would cost Ben his life.

 

As the hours past by Qui-Gon sank into meditation, letting his energy supplement the raw hollowness of his fellow Jedi. What was left however felt achingly familiar in the way one could have deja vu for something they had never experienced. Finally, they arrived back on Coruscant.

 

Mace had forwarded what little he could of the mission ahead to the temple, and medical was waiting upon the disembarkment.  Qui-Gon refused to release Ben until he knew there was someone else who could supplement the man’s strength. The Healers only appeared confused, however, and after a moment they were both swept towards the Infirmary where tests and aid could be given.

 

No Jedi Healer had ever heard of such a condition let alone seen it.

 

Ben still lived despite his unsupportable midichlorian levels, and soon concern was given about how long Qui-Gon could possibly supplement Ben’s life with his own. Still Qui-Gon held out until finally an answer came. The energy that Qui-Gon was supplementing could be artificially replicated on a temporary basis through the bacta organisms that would hopefully begin to heal the cellular and nervous system damage that had been done. They didn’t quite dare separate the two of them until the makeshift life support system was in place, so Qui-Gon was sentenced to entering the bacta tank along with Ben.

 

The energy that they pumped through the bacta made his teeth seize up. Ben’s body jerked and tightened as well, but slowly began to relax again. Outside of the tank the healer nodded and rechecked the Jedi’s vital signs. Qui-Gon didn’t necessarily feel Ben begin to get stronger… but the feeling of supporting another gradually began to grow weaker. Concerned Qui-Gon reached out only to be gently rebuffed.

 

_Okay_

 

_Xanatos._

 

The urgency on his padawan’s name frustrated Qui-Gon. He had been needed-

 

His sense of Ben faded away, feeling the fond exasperation as the man turned away and fell into sleep.

 

The healers gestured for him to climb out of the tank, and though reluctant to leave Qui-Gon hauled himself out. As much as he would like to stay, the urgency was now gone and his padawan did indeed need him.

 

“Master Kenobi is stable and has fallen into a coma. We need you to explain everything that you can about what condition he was in when you found him. According to our sensors, he shouldn’t even be alive.”

 

Qui-Gon grimaced but hurried to convey what he could, which turned out to be very little indeed. A Sith appearing for the first time in a millenia. Some sort of experiment leading to terrible consequences. The room which Ben had been contained in and the strange machinery that he could only describe in the vaguest terms, having never seen it's like before.

 

Finally, Qui-Gon was given an option of rest in the infirmary or his own quarters. His energy drained despite supplementing his reserves with the power of the force. Qui-Gon agreed to his quarters though he had no intention of continuing on to them before he found his padawan. He had neglected his duty as a master for far too long already.

 

Qui-Gon didn’t use the force to find Xanatos, not wanting to play a game of hide and seek with his apprentice. Instead, he went straight to where Xanatos thought best. The tallest tower Padawan's had access to.

 

It took him some time to get there. Several elevators and then finally stairs and at last a ladder. The silver lining to this being that unless Xanatos jumped several stories there was no way he could avoid his master.

 

The young man only spared him a glance before turning back to the expanse of the Coruscant skyline that the roof of the tower over looked. The Sun was beginning to set as cast a red-orange over the towers that rose out of the cityscape.

 

Qui-Gon remained silent as he carefully made his way over to his padawan. He had never particularly liked heights and he was fairly sure Xanatos had chosen this particular meditation spot with that in mind. Slowly he settled down beside the young man, crossing his legs instead of letting them hang over the side as Xanatos was doing.

 

“What are you doing here?” Xanatos’ voice was rough with conflict and Qui-Gon felt the same pain Xanatos must have as his apprentice continued to look away.

 

“I’ve come to make sure you will be alright,” Qui-Gon said gently.

 

A scowl tore across Xanatos neutral expression. “A bit late for that aren’t you?!” Xanatos icy blue eyes met his for the first time since the beginning of the mission. “You abandoned me!” The fear and pain of the statement resonated in the force. Xanatos looked away his eyes wide with horror looking- but seeing nothing. “They abandoned me.” The words had lost all their passion, hollow now with the reality of what had happened.

 

“Oh padawan, what dark thoughts has the Sith ensnared you with?”

 

The fire in Xanatos’ eyes was back. “They told me the truth, which is more than the Jedi has done. What good are the Jedi if we value those around us, those closest to us as less than those who are only strangers? It’s a wonder we haven't wiped out long ago, with no loyalty, no real compassion, just heartless logic and cold duty to warm our beds.”

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes went dark with concerned and he realized just how much the time he had spent to saving Master Kenobi’s life had cost him. These were fears that could lead to the dark side, fears that could destroy a man from the inside out let alone a padawan who should have been able to lean on his master when in doubt.

 

He still didn’t know what had happened back on Naboo. Likely it would take time to fully understand what his padawan had gone through, but he had to do what he could here and now.

 

His hands remained in his lap though he wished dearly to reach out. “Our entire lives we are taught the Jedi way.” It was his turn to look forward while Xanatos scowled disbelievingly towards him. “We are given hypothetical situations of what is right and wrong, and taught in the ways of the force to sense which way to choose if the choice seems impossible to make.”

 

Qui-Gon met Xanatos’ eyes. “I never intended to abandon you Xanatos. Hypothetical situations of what you would choose mean very little in the face of reality. We are taught against attachment as it leads to selfishness, but at the same time taught that compassion is one of the greatest virtues we can aspire to.” Now Qui-Gon did reach out, not quite touching Xanatos’ cheek, but offering. “I care deeply for you, danger is something we face every day as Jedi, and I have had to face that there is always a chance I could lose you.” Qui-Gon let his hand fall.

 

“But just because I have to face that doesn’t mean I would not lose a very dear part of myself if you were to fall. We strive as Jedi to do the best we can, and sometimes the cost is heavy. Not everyone can endure the life a Jedi must live. To weigh the costs of saving one against the costs of saving many.”

 

“No.”

 

Qui-Gon looked at Xanatos angry gaze in confusion.

 

“That isn’t what happened.” Xanatos snarled. “You, you chose Kenobi over me just a few hours ago! And the Council members… they choose to kill Palpatine over trying to save me!”

 

Qui-Gon searched Xanatos eyes, heart heavy with the pain Xanatos was exuding. “Would you ask me to comfort you over saving a man’s life?” The question should have been hypothetical.

 

“He’s probably going to die anyway! There’s always going to be another stranger! Someone else to pull you away, thousands of beings are dying this very second all over the galaxy, if I am so selfish, so wrong to want you with me, then why are you here now.” The last was said through clenched teeth.

 

So much had gone wrong in such a short period of time. Qui-Gon knew that these thoughts couldn’t have all been new, he wondered how he could have missed such a burden on his padawan’s mind. “I had to do what I could Xanatos. We have to do what we can to help, what’s in our power to help. We can’t save everyone, you’re right. Sometimes even those we try to save still fall, but we have to try. I left you to flounder, and it pains me to see what my actions have cost you, but I am here now. As long as I can, I’ll be here for you.”

 

Xanatos’ eyes only looked weary. The young man just shook his head. “It wrong…” Xanatos whispered as the sky dimmed into twilight. “You value others more than those who care about you. It's not… not human.”

 

Qui-Gon eyebrows furrowed, unsure how to reply. That was a phrase that he was sure Xanatos had picked up from his father. The man had always been worryingly influential of Xanatos, and now Qui-Gon was seeing the cost.

 

“...Where we are in doubt we can search the force to guide us. Right and wrong are often difficult to perceive when darkness clouds our judgment.”

 

Xanatos’ fist clenched. “You think I am in darkness then? You think that I am falling to the dark side? Destined to become a Sith?!” There was anger there, but also fear and need for reassurance.

 

“The Sith can twist doubts we already had to destroy us.” Qui-Gon reached out again, this time gently brushing his hand against Xanatos’ short hair and along the young man’s braid. “You are no more destined for the dark side than me Xanatos. I just ask that you doubt your doubts before you doubt the force.” He paused giving Xanatos a pleading half smile. “Let me help you.”

 

A tear trickled out of one of Xanatos eye. “I was going to die.”

 

Qui-Gon pulled Xanatos into his arms. “Thank the force you didn’t,” Qui-Gon said wholeheartedly.

 

They stayed there for some time, quiet for long moments interspersed with deep discussion of the kind that they hadn’t had time for in far too long. It would take much longer than just one sleepless night to work through the issues that Xanatos had been harboring but they were on the right track. Qui-Gon was no longer sure if the right path for Xanatos was Knighthood, but it was something they could work through together, and no matter what Xanatos ended up choosing, Qui-Gon would support him through it all.

 

The Sun began to rise before they left the tower roof, and tiredness was pulling at Qui-Gon’s bones. Xanatos seemed to not notice much, more self-reflecting than concerned over his old master. By the time they made it back to their apartments they both retired for bed, rest being well over due.

 

___________________________

 

Obi-wan wished they would let him go, but he knew he needed to stay so he held on.

 

It had been easier with Qui-Gon, his thoughts had been muddled, but what was left of him and recognized his old master.

 

What was left of him.

 

The energy that was somehow infusing him allowed him the strength to sense just how much was gone. His mind, memories were still there, but what made him… him, there was so little now, and what was left ached with loss.

 

Eventually, Obi-wan became aware of his senses again, or rather the lack of them. He could not feel, hear, smell, see-

 

Obi-wan opened his eyes.

 

A bacta tank.

 

A healer worked within sight, noting down information on a pad in his hand. Obi-wan’s eyes drifted closed before the middle-aged Cathar could look up and see that he was awake.

 

Forever seemed to pass, but it could have been only moments. A strange reverberation forced Obi-wan from the nothingness he had sunk himself into. He was well aware what had caused it before he had even opened his eyes, familiar with the sensation from past experience.

 

Yoda was standing outside of the tank, clearly ready to knock once again. Yoda said something, but Bacta tanks often limited the senses in order to completely envelope the patient. The grand master made a dissatisfied face and talked to the healer briefly. Finally after some finagling Obi-wan could hear again.

 

“One Sith dead, revealed another, changed much you have, suspect I do.”

 

Obi-wan stared back hollowed-eyed, unable to speak in return.

 

Yoda frowned, concern clear for anyone who knew him well. “Gravely hurt you have been. Help you we wish to, know not how we do, know more perhaps _you_ do?”

 

Obi-wan could have answered. Though he couldn’t speak he could have mouthed the words. Yoda was well versed in lipreading for many languages let alone common. Instead, he closed his eyes and let himself sink away from the pain. There was so little left that he could do it almost easily. He didn't wake again.

 

________________________

 

Qui-Gon slept through the morning and most of the afternoon before he arose. He checked in on Xanatos, but the young man was still sleeping. Qui-Gon made sure that there would be a breakfast readily available for his padawan before he jotted down a note to eat and that he could be reached on his communicator. Of course it was only then that he noticed the numerous messages that had been sent to him in his sleep.

 

Wincing slightly Qui-Gon scrolled through them even as he hurriedly got ready and started on his way to the Infirmary.  Ben was as stabilized as he was going to get until the Healers learned more about what had caused his condition in the first place.

 

Yoda was surprisingly there, or perhaps not considering the Sith were involved, and soon Qui-Gon realized just how serious the situation was.

 

Ben Kenobi’s force signature was so weak not because he was dying, but because the midichlorians supporting his life force were severely reduced. The man had gone from a high count even for a Jedi to one found only in low-life forms. The only possible conclusion was that the midichlorians that had once been apart of him and been somehow “removed” despite all prior knowledge that such a thing was impossible except by death.

 

The healers didn’t know what the Sith had done to the Jedi Master, but they hoped that whatever had removed the midichlorians could also put them back, or perhaps if it was destroyed Kenobi’s midichlorian levels would return naturally. It was difficult to say as it was entirely new territory for all the Jedi Healers involved. It was all just theory.

 

As a last ditch effort, they had asked Qui-Gon to do what no one else seemed to be able to, ask Ben himself what had happened.

 

He approached the Bacta Tank where Ben was held. The man looked catatonic. Qui-Gon had a difficult time believing that he would succeed where even a grand master had failed. But then… there had been a connection between them. Somehow Qui-Gon had been able to support Ben’s life until they had gotten the man real help. If he could just-

 

There.

 

Blank eyes tinted with the color of the bacta opened and met Qui-Gon’s own.

 

_Master?_

 

That again. The thought was tired as if Qui-Gon had woken Ben up from a deep sleep. Qui-Gon couldn’t help but ask the question that had been hounding him since the first time.

 

‘You keep calling me Master. Who was he?’

 

Ben’s eyes grew wide and almost fearful, focusing on Qui-Gon for the first time since waking.

 

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do so.’ For the first time, Qui-Gon heard the thought clearly rather than the echo that had been so faint before.

 

‘It’s alright’ Qui-Gon reassured, not wishing to disturb the man. His curiosity was still brimming and he had no doubt that Ben could feel the unasked question between them. Why? Why did Ben keep calling Qui-Gon Master? That wasn’t what he was there to find out, though.

 

‘Ben, we need to know what happened to you on Naboo.’

 

Pain brightened Ben’s eyes before the color dimmed darker than it had been before.

 

‘Ben?’ No answer came and worried that they were losing the connection between them Qui-Gon put his hand against the glass, hoping to stabilize it.

 

‘Ben, the healer’s are trying their best to save you, but they need your help.’

 

‘It’s alright.’ Ben’s eyes closed, but lines of pain remained across his face.

 

‘What?’ Qui-Gon’s brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to understand.

 

‘It’s alright, you can let me go. I don’t belong here anyway.’ A pause. ‘Perhaps the force willed this to be.’  Each word horrified Qui-Gon more.

 

‘NO.’ The thought was more forceful than Qui-Gon had intended, making Ben flinch in the bacta tank and wounded eyes settle back onto him. He leaned forward unconsciously, locking eyes with him. ‘Whatever has been done to you, was against everything the force is. I can feel that.’ He lightly slapped his hand against the glass to emphasize his point. ‘The Sith has done this- that being has taken the light of the force and corrupted it until all that is left is darkness and power. The force has no influence over such a being or it’s actions.’

 

‘I’m sorry.’ Ben’s eyes were wide and obviously shaken. Instantly Qui-Gon felt guilty for causing in the first place.

 

‘It is not you who should be.’ Qui-Gon replied, allowing his own apology to be felt through their connection.

 

It seemed to reassure Ben very little, however, and now the other man wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. ‘Ben-’

 

‘I know.’ For a brief second their eyes did meet before Ben looked away again, focusing instead on some point around Qui-Gon’s chin. ‘I know that the force didn’t do this… but-’ There was so much weight in that one word, and despite the bacta in the tank, Qui-Gon wondered if he could see tears in Ben’s eyes before they closed. ‘But perhaps it has abandoned me.’

 

Before Qui-Gon could thoroughly deny such a thing, Ben’s eyes snapped back open, stronger somehow. ‘I am not blaming the force, but what has been done is done. Life _and_ death are equally important in the force, and I have accepted my fate.’

 

A snarl ripped through Qui-Gon as he felt the wrongness in the force at such a statement. Couldn’t Ben feel- Qui-Gon’s breath caught. Of course not. To Ben, it would would feel as though the force was nothing more than a memory. Midichlorians were the spark, the connection between the physical and spiritual world around them. It was rare that creatures were ever completely force null, but Ben’s levels were far below even those beings.

 

‘It has not.’ Qui-Gon wished badly to take Ben into his arms. To give comfort where the force could not. ‘I promise you that though you can not feel it, the force is with you even now.’

 

Ben’s eyes were simply weary now. ‘It’s too late.’

 

‘You can’t know that. The healers say that your midichlorians were somehow removed, if we can-

 

‘No.’ The thought was clear but weighed down. Qui-Gon waited, not sure what Ben meant. ‘Destoryed, not removed.’

 

“What?” Shock made Qui-Gon accidently speak aloud, horror pervaded the word. Distantly he registered the healers asking him questions, but all his focus remained on Ben.

 

‘That’s impossible.’ He denied it almost instinctively. Such an idea against all rational thought. Midichlorians could transform and change, even disappear, but they would still exist on some level just as energy itself could dissipate but never be destroyed.

 

He had a feeling that Ben would have sighed if he had been able.

 

‘I’m all that’s left.’ Those words had a horrible connotation. It couldn’t possibly be the truth and yet- The force had never lied to Qui-Gon. Been silent, vague, confusing yes, but never lied. It was telling Qui-Gon the sickening truth. It wasn’t just that Ben thought this was the case. It was.

 

Qui-Gon broke away, nauseated at the realization. He stumbled past a healer who managed to direct him towards a bed to sit down. He covered his eyes, still struggling to comprehend such depravity.

 

“Tell us what learned you must,” Yoda’s cane lightly poked Qui-Gon’s shin as if the grand-master knew that anything more would be too much.

 

“We were wrong,” Qui-Gon growled out. His hands clenching into fists.  

 

A healer asked what they had been wrong about with annoyance, and Qui-Gon stood to meet the speaker head on. “The Sith didn’t manage to ‘drain Ben’s life force’, he destroyed it.”

 

Almost instantly there was an uproar of voices asking what exactly that meant before Yoda slammed his cane down and demanded silence.

 

“What you mean, explain you will.” Yoda’s ears were downcast and the seriousness of the situation seemed to settle on everyone in the room.

 

“The Sith have discovered how to destroy Midichlorians.”

 

The room didn’t quiet again for some time.


	9. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attempt to heal Obi-wan is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter has been sitting on my desktop for a couple of weeks collecting dust as I tried to figure out if I should rewrite the whole thing. In the end I decided to go ahead and post so hopefully you guys enjoy it :) And not to worry, there is a happy ending to this angst-fest x.x

  
  
  


Qui-Gon was tired. He felt stretched between responsibilities as he divided his time between the medical wing and Xanatos. Xanatos whose faith in the order was failing.

 

He wished he could blame the Sith for it all. Something that with time they could work through, that Xanatos could eventually overcome his doubts and become the Jedi Knight that Qui-Gon always imagined.

 

It was not to be.

 

It was difficult to say how long Xanatos had been floundering, holding on to the order through sheer determination and most likely ambition. Qui-Gon inwardly winced. Xanatos was the pride of his life and perhaps that was what had led him to be so blind to just how dangerous it was for Xanatos to be walking the path of a knight when he had such strong doubts. It was not even that Xanatos had not voiced them, but Qui-gon had not understood what his apprentice had been trying to say. He had been so blind.

 

Qui-Gon nodded in greeting to a passing healer, wishing nothing more than to bury his face in his hands.  He needed to seek the advice of the council but wished to wait until Xanatos had chosen what path he wished to travel. Acting too early could destroy paths that Xanatos had not yet considered. The young man still _needed_ the order. The force was strong within him, and without the light of the Jedi, Qui-Gon feared what would become of him.

 

A wisp of something, gentle and reassuring touched his emotions. Qui-Gon looked up and for the first time saw Ben’s dull gray eyes meeting his own. They were so different now, the life that had once sparkled there sucked away.

 

Their connection, however it came to be, had been the only thing that kept Ben alive until the healers could put the Jedi Master on a form of life support, and even now it seemed that the man would have faded away if Qui-Gon hadn’t been there.

 

The touch, barely even tangible grew even fainter.

 

‘Ben?’

 

Grey eyes closed.

 

‘It’ll be alright.’

 

It was the first time that Ben had initiated any sort of contact between them. Qui-Gon must have been radiating his worries about Xanatos. He checked his shields, but they were still firmly in place, their connection, whatever it was, seemingly an exception to those shields.

 

‘I hope so.’

 

Qui-Gon tried to redirect his thoughts, he would not endanger Ben by trying to restrict their connection, but he also did not want to worry the man with his own concerns.

 

‘You realized in time… You’ll find a way.’

 

Qui-Gon’s breath hitched, he must have been leaking far more than he thought.

 

‘I could have lost him.’ The thought was made before Qui-Gon could control it.

 

‘You haven’t, not yet.’ Ben’s eyes opened again, pain making the dull eyes glimmer with some of the life that once resided there. ‘Now that you know, you can help him.’ There was something more there, an ache that only experience could explain.

 

‘You lost a padawan?’ It could have been a friend, a master, perhaps even a lover, but somehow Qui-Gon felt it was not.

 

‘Yes.’ The one word was filled with such grief that despite the dullness that Qui-Gon was coming to associate with Ben now, that it resonated between them.

 

‘That’s why you wanted me to let you go, you knew.’ Qui-Gon hadn’t realized at the time just how precarious Xanatos had been between light and dark when he had chosen to remain with Ben. If he had…  How could a man, even a Jedi choose between the soul of his student and the life of an almost stranger? Except Ben wasn’t that. Qui-Gon wasn’t sure what he was.

 

‘Yes…’ the answer was quieter now. ‘...I didn’t realize until it was too late… far far too late.’

 

Qui-Gon wished he could reach out, hold the man whose pain could have been his own. He could not, so he did what was left to him and reached out with the force alone.

 

Within the bacta tank Ben shuddered, but almost instinctively reached back.

 

‘You shouldn’t do that.’ There was no real reprimand in the words, gratitude and warmth beneath them conveying much more.

 

Qui-Gon made no effort to withdraw. ‘Why’s that?’

 

Ben didn’t answer immediately, contentment gradually pushed way as resolve took its place. ‘You strengthen it when you do.’

 

Qui-Gon’s focus narrowed in, ‘You know what it is. The connection between us.’ It was not a question but a realization.

 

‘...Yes.’ Hesitance rang from the answer, and Qui-Gon could feel the man withdrawing. He tried his best to hang on, wanting more- ‘Let me go Qui-Gon.’ Weariness poured from the words.

 

‘No, there’s something between us, there’s-’

 

‘There can’t be anything.’ Ben’s thought firmly. ‘There couldn’t ever be anything, not before, and not now.’ Qui-Gon felt his heart clench, there was something more being said in that moment, but he didn’t know what. He often felt as though he was missing half the picture with Ben, but what he did feel was in direct contradiction to what Ben was saying.

 

‘Why do you push away what you want so hard? The force-’

 

‘The force has forsaken me, and you should too.’ Qui-Gon flinched. He had somehow forgotten that Ben could no longer feel the force. The only connection the man had left was the inexplicable one between them.

 

‘I will not leave you.’

 

‘Sometimes you are forced to.’ There was more to that tired thought than Qui-Gon understood. He hadn’t left Ben, but… somehow he had?

 

Ben felt like a living contradiction. There was so much that Qui-Gon didn’t understand. He felt such a pull to the man, something he knew could turn into so much more and yet their time seemed to be limited. ‘Please hold on.’ The thought was unbidden, but somehow ultimately important.

 

‘...It’s done Qui-Gon. You told me that Palpatine is dead. What I came here for is done…” Ben weakly pleaded with Qui-Gon, but he didn’t understand. He _had_ told Obi-wan what had happened on Naboo, at the time he hadn’t even been sure if Obi-wan had been listening. What that had to do with Ben holding on he wasn’t sure.

 

‘It’s not done.’ Of that Qui-Gon was certain, if Ben needed something tangible well he could give it to him. ‘Palpatine may be dead, but his master still lives-’

 

‘The Sith has been revealed… it will be different now.’ Exhaustion echoed along the thread of the thought.

 

‘Different from what?’

 

Ben didn’t answer.

 

‘Ben?’

 

Qui-Gon stayed as long as he could, a part of him believing that even in the half sleep Ben had fallen into that his presence helped somehow.

 

Eventually, he had to return to his rooms to meet with Xanatos. He would be back in the morning. Like always.

 

* * *

 

  


When Qui-gon arrived in the hospital wing the next day he expected to see the small group of healers in the corner, quietly discussing yet another new theory to heal Ben, but what he didn’t expect was the little boy standing to the side next to Yoda.

 

“Master Yoda.” Qui-Gon greeted with a bow, alerting his grandmaster and young child of his presence. Yoda gave a small nod with a humph in return, the child, however, jumped, startled, and hurriedly bowed to the Jedi Master. The boy seemed strangely familiar and it took a moment for Qui-gon to place him.

 

Obi-wan Kenobi.

 

It was the child that Xanatos had been so curious about before all this had begun. Qui-Gon looked questioningly to Yoda who avoided his gaze. With a roll of his eyes, Qui-Gon turned his attention back to the boy.

 

“Hello, young one.” Qui-Gon bent down to one knee so he could meet the shy child face to face. There was intimidation in those eyes but determination as well and after a moment Qui-Gon could almost see a steel resolve settle into the child. Qui-Gon’s lips quirked into a smile, so brave for one so intimidated.

 

“Humph, Master Qui-Gon Jinn,  Initiate Obi-wan Kenobi this is.” Yoda finally spoke up, his ear slightly down turned in a way that Qui-Gon associated with the old master being wary of something.

 

Qui-Gon held out his hand with a slight smile, he always enjoyed time with younglings although he hadn’t been able to spend time in the creche since taking Xanatos as his padawan. “It’s nice to meet you Obi-wan Kenobi.” He greeted as he shook the shy boy’s hand, glancing over to Yoda with an inquiring eye. “It’s not often that younglings are brought to the medical wing.” He said somewhat teasingly to the boy, but pointedly to his old grandmaster.

 

“And thank the force for that.” A woman approached the three of them with a smile for the little boy. “As much as I love seeing younglings I am glad that they don’t end up needing my care nearly as often as some.” The woman looked pointedly at Qui-Gon before winking at the shy Initiate who giggled before looking hesitantly towards Qui-Gon who gave him a reassuring smile in return.

 

“Are you here for a checkup then?” Qui-Gon inquired of the young boy despite knowing that such appointments were done in an entirely separate area. Obi-wan shook his head rapidly with wide eyes before looking to the healer.

 

The healer waved her hand negatively though. “No, no, Obi-wan is here at the request of Master Yoda.”

 

Qui-Gon glanced between Yoda and Obi-wan and then finally Ben who floated motionlessly in the bacta tank nearby. Xanatos had made the hypothesis that Obi-wan and Ben were related, perhaps his apprentice had been right.

 

“Is he your-” before Qui-Gon could complete the question Yoda interrupted.

 

“Initiate Kenobi here to help he is.” The young boy seemed curious as to what Qui-Gon had been about to say but focused respectively on Yoda when the grand master spoke.

 

“Help?” Qui-Gon said surprised.

 

“Yes! Master Yoda has a theory that Obi-wan will be able to help Master Kenobi touch the force.” The Healer happily spoke up. “If we can make that connection then there is a chance that what was… taken from Master Kenobi’s life force can be restored.”

 

Qui-Gon’s brows skyrocketed, looking curiously at the young boy. Surely even if they were related such a thing could not be done: Qui-Gon had heard theories of identical twins being able to share their connection with the force with their non-sensitive counterpart, but surely this was a stretch?

 

“Um… I am not sure what to do though Master Yoda.” The boy bit his lip, clearly confused.

 

“Hmm-” Yoda somewhat stern veneer softened, “Help you I will.”

 

“Even if Master Kenobi’s connection to the force can be restored, why do you think that it will restore his midichlorians?”

 

The healer hesitated with he answer, looking questioningly to Yoda before answering. “Well… we aren’t sure it will. We’ve never dealt with something like this before, but Midichlorians are the hyperphysical connection of our bodies and the force. This connection is what we consider our life force to be. If we can restore, no, strengthen that connection, there is a chance that the force will do what we cannot.”

 

“Create Midichlorians?” Qui-Gon asks incredulously.

 

The healer grimaced, the very idea went against all known knowledge of the Jedi, but so did the idea of destroying them.

 

“Know we do not. Believe in the force we must.” It was dangerously close to contradicting Yoda’s favorite byline.

 

Between the three of them, the young initiate looked increasingly anxious. “Master?” The boy addressed Yoda.

 

“Humph, guide you I will.” Casting a glance at the healer he directed her to usher the others out of the room while guiding Obi-wan to stand in front of the bacta tank. Yoda eyed Qui-Gon as well, but he stayed where he was, if it worked he wanted to be there, if it didn’t, he would need to be.

 

Pillows were provided by the Healer after a moment and within minutes Yoda and the young initiate were settled in front of the tank. Qui-Gon wondered if he should warn Ben of what the grandmaster was attempting, but despite wanting it to work he had grave doubts about the enterprise.  Though Yoda was wise beyond Qui-Gon’s understanding, it did not mean that he could work miracles, and to have a child, be him son or nephew or some other relation, try and attempt such an intrinsic connection… He did not want to give Ben false hope.

 

Yoda patiently walked Obi-wan through the beginning steps of Meditation that the boy was probably familiar with before gradually diving into deep guided meditation methods. Such techniques to outsiders might have been misconstrued as Hypnosis as they looked very similar on the surface, beneath that, however, they were worlds apart.

 

“Sense him do you?” Yoda had helped Obi-wan expand his sense of the force a thousand fold while restraining his focus to a few narrow feet so as to not overwhelm the child.

 

There was a delay in the answer before Obi-wan replied with a detached voice symptomatic of the meditation they were using, “...yes… he feels so strange.”

 

“Detached from the force he is. Help him we must.” Obi-wan did not respond, the answer meaning little while so deep in the meditation. The next step would be the most difficult, and Yoda was careful as he guided Obi-wan to reach out and connect with Ben.

 

Qui-Gon closed his eyes so as to better sense what was happening through the force. Obi-wan was reaching out, but it was almost like he was trying to grasp onto mist, there wasn’t enough of Ben to hold onto. Yoda was trying his best to guide Obi-wan but the Jedi Master was limited by what he could sense. Qui-Gon reached out, under such deep meditation Obi-wan could be guided without words and Yoda withdrew allowing the younger Master to attempt the impossible.

 

Obi-wan’s presence responded eagerly to Qui-Gon’s own and even as Qui-Gon reached out for Ben he realized exactly why Yoda hoped this might work.

 

They were the same.

 

It was nearly impossible to describe how another felt in the force, each distinct in their own way, some bright or dull, others tepid or ice cold.

Ben’s aura was faint but radiated the same golden warmth as Obi-wan.

 

There were differences but not the ones that should have been there.

 

Inside of the the Bacta tank, Ben jerked awake, a choked gasp jerking him through the thick liquid.

 

To Qui-Gon’s alarm instead of simply connecting, Obi-wan’s seeking tendrils of force seemed to merge into Ben’s essence. His own connection with the Jedi Master flared to life.

 

‘Qui-Gon?!” It was strangely loud after only hearing been Ben so weakened. ‘Qui-Gon, stop him, I can’t!’

 

Ben was pushing Obi-wan away, but doing so was like pushing sand up a dune, it came down faster than it went up. They were unequal and the force was seeking balance.

 

Qui-Gon did the only thing he could do- he cut through Obi-wan’s seeking tendrils, moving faster and faster towards Ben-

 

It was like a light had turned off.

 

Obi-wan cried out and collapsed, and for a moment Qui-Gon didn’t know which one it was.

 

“What. Was. That.” Qui-Gon growled out. His eyes opening to see Yoda hovering over Obi-wan passed out on the ground.

 

The grand master’s ears were cast down. “Know what would happen I did not.”

 

Qui-Gon got to his feet from where he had fallen and went to the child, hoping the damage would not be irreparable. “Is he-”

 

“Alive he is, wait we will until wake he does. Know more then we will.”

 

Qui-Gon grimaced, they had taken an unaccountable risk- he looked up. Ben, no Obi-wan was looking at them through the bacta tank glass, horrified worry painted across his face.

 

“Did you know?” Qui-Gon’s voice was harsher than it had ever been towards the grand master.

 

“...know I did.” Yoda acknowledged the strange connection between the child and Ben before calling the healers in who were horrified by the state they found the child in. Within moments the Initiate Obi-wan Kenobi was bundled up onto a bed brought into the room. Qui-Gon was silent through gritted teeth as he waited for the healers to access the child and he thought through what he had just discovered.

 

He looked to the man he had known as Ben, feeling betrayed by the lies and evasions.

 

Sad eyes followed the work of the healers as they worked before meeting Qui-Gon’s. Qui-Gon did not reach out.

 

Acceptance flickered through them, and Ben or Obi-wan or whoever he was, looked away again. Qui-Gon kept an eye on the man while he waited impatiently for Yoda- who was the one truly at fault here. It was clear that Ben was exhausted. Heavy eyes managed to stay open for only a few minutes as the child was cared for, until at last, Ben’s presence faded once more.

 

Qui-Gon tensed as for a moment he thought that Ben had- no. The man was still there. His presence was  again fainter, but it was that of sleep. He let out the breath that he had held in his distress. When had it all become so convoluted?

 

“Speak to me you wish to. Stable the boy is, best to do so now I think.”

 

Qui-Gon folded his arms and nodded tightly. Yoda had some explaining to do.

 

* * *

 

  


Qui-Gon returned to his quarters exhausted. Yoda had indeed explained without even reprimanding Qui-Gon for his anger as he realized the council’s culpability and the truth behind Ben’s presence.

 

The man had lied to him the first time they had met.

 

Qui-Gon recollected it all, trying to understand why.

 

The man had thought he was dead.

Qui-Gon let out a humorless laugh as he began to make tea. Why then had he lied about such a basic thing? Had he not trusted Qui-Gon? Surely if they had been enemies then-

 

Their connection. It must have been from the past or future, whatever it was now that Obi-wan had come back. Disconcertment spread through him as he realized the possibilities. Just what had they been to each other?

 

The door to his quarters beeped as it was unlocked and Xanatos stepped in. Looking tired but happy from his lightsaber lessons the young man took a few steps inside before noticing his master and the tea set in from of him. Xanatos smile faded slightly before his apprentice bowed and greeted him.

 

“Master.” The next question was hesitant. “Is everything… alright?”

 

Qui-Gon quirked a brow, his arms spread out on either side of the tea set. “Why would you think it wouldn’t be?” His favorite method of not answering a question, simply return one instead.

 

Xanatos, however, met his raised brow with one of his own. “You only ever take out the Hapanian tea set when you are upset.”

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes narrowed, his apprentice sometimes knew him too well. “Is that so?

 

Xanatos quirked a slight smile, but Qui-Gon could see the worry behind it. “I can count the times you have pulled it out during my apprenticeship on two hands Master- they have all been rather serious.”

 

Qui-Gon snorted, “Hmm, yes I can imagine that those moments could stick out.” Because they had been when Xanatos had been in the most trouble.

 

Xanatos  grimaced with a slight smile, they both knew what had been unsaid. “Yes well… does this mean you have finally talked to the council?” The question came out hurried and surprised Qui-Gon and first before he realized what Xanatos had been thinking.

 

He let out a sigh and reached his hand up gesturing for Xanatos to come near. “No Xanatos, not yet. This is about something or rather someone else.”

 

The young man moved forward relieved and allowed Qui-Gon’s arm to settle over his shoulders. His looked at his master curiously,  “Is it Master Kenobi then?”

 

It was Qui-Gon’s turn to grimace, giving Xanatos his answer. Distaste flickered on the young man’s face before it cleared, “Is he getting worse then?” Kenobi was still a sensitive topic between them after Qui-Gon had chosen to stay with the man once they were reunited on the ship.

 

It was the last thing that Qui-Gon wanted to discuss, but he would not shut out his apprentice. “No. Or at least I don’t think so. I told you what was done to him on Naboo?”

 

Xanatos nodded.

 

“We tried… we tried something to help him today and it failed.”

 

Xanatos studied him carefully before pulling away and moving to the other side of the table. Qui-Gon had habitually pulled two teacups with the rest of the tea set and Xanatos was silent as he poured tea for both of them.

 

“You care about him.”

 

“I barely know him.” Qui-Gon’s answer came almost too fast.

 

Xanatos looked up from his own cup of tea, his gaze penetrating.

 

“Does that matter?”

 

Qui-Gon might have flinched. What he had known of Ben… what he had _thought_ he knew of whoever Ben was, had been someone he had felt a connection with. But what did that even mean? Was it simply a by-product of the man already knowing him at some point in the future? How could you truly get to know someone if they already knew you? Their every interaction was now different in Qui-Gon’s mind, and he didn’t know what to think of it all.

 

Xanatos swirled his tea as he waited for Qui-Gon’s answer. “It’s okay you know.” His gaze not quite meeting Qui-Gon’s.

 

“Wha-”

 

“I know that I was- well, a bit of a brat on the ship, but I know you chose him cause he was dying and I was… not. You don’t have to prove that to me by distancing yourself or-”

 

“It’s not about that,” Qui-Gon said tiredly.

 

“Hmm.” Xanatos was sometimes a frustrating mix of perceptive and self-involved. “Well, either way, it won’t matter soon anyway.”

 

Qui-gon’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean.”

 

“...I have thought about what we talked about. That following the force doesn’t mean following the path of a Jedi Knight.”

 

“Oh.” Qui-Gon wasn’t ready for this conversation, despite knowing that it was high time for it to happen.

 

“...Anyway, I have been looking into it between my classes, and while there is no way I want to go into the Agricorps.” Xanatos made a face and Qui-Gon had little doubt exactly what his apprentice thought of that particular auxiliary force. “I was thinking about maybe joining the senate delegation and maybe eventually becoming an ambassador for the Jedi.”

 

“Ah.” Qui-Gon leaned back, impressed despite himself. Though Xanatos could be terribly overt with his feelings, when he put his mind to it, the young man was a natural in politics. Always thinking two steps ahead of his cohorts. Qui-Gon smiled, “You have thought this through?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then I think you will do very well there. I will speak with the council tomorrow.”

 

“Does this mean that I will have to leave right away?”

 

Qui-Gon hesitated a moment before shaking his head. While technically so he did not wish to give up Xanatos so quickly, at least not until the boy was ready to go. “No, once you a formally taken into the Senate Auxilary you will be given your own rooms, but you will always be welcome here.”

 

Xanatos’ shoulders relaxed. “Good then.”

 

They gradually finished the tea, largely in comfortable silence as they both contemplated the future.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Obi-wan waited.

 

Yoda tried to communicate again after the fiasco that led Obi-wan’s counterpart in a medical bed. Obi-wan still couldn’t believe the recklessness that would lead to Yoda risking a child in such a way. There were a thousand theories of what could happen if time travel were possible and even more for if two singularities (or souls) touched. He had been ready, despite his own exhaustion, to give Yoda a piece of his mind, but- it was not to be.

 

Despite both of their best attempts, they could not connect and what sign language Obi-wan knew was limited and utterly exhausting, movement in the bacta tank simply took too much out of him. While he understood most of what Yoda said, he could not reply easily, and as such, was forced into the position of listener.

 

Qui-Gon had finally realized who Obi-wan really was.

 

His old master was a hard man in some ways, not easily wounded but once so- difficult to heal. Obi-wan had seen the hurt in the other man’s eyes before he had fallen into exhausted sleep. Obi-wan would not be easily forgiven. And- despite still believing he was not meant to continue living in this time, Obi-wan did not want to leave to Qui-Gon’s enmity.

 

Eventually, the child that Obi-wan had once been, woke up.

 

Relief coursed through him. Though he had not been the one to make the connection, it would have been his fault if the boy had died or worse. The child seemed to be alright, though Obi-wan missed most of what was said, the many tests that the Healers performed seemed to have positive results. Already the child was fidgety and likely asking when he could leave- something Obi-wan was well familiar with.

 

Obi-wan drifted throughout it all, exhaustion still pulling him away even as he tried to keep track of what was going on. He felt so blind now. That brief touch of the force had been equally tantalizing and terrifying as he realized what it cost. Obi-wan pushed again against his exhaustion and opened his eyes.

 

The child was watching him.

 

Obi-wan would have jerked in surprise if he had had the energy to do so. How long had the child been there?

 

The boy said something. Obi-wan couldn’t hear, but he could read the child’s lips and understand the last word.

 

‘Me’

 

How could he explain to this child that no matter what happened now his fate was changed? That experiences sometimes changed you irreparably? That hopefully this Obi-wan would never become something such as him?

 

Obi-wan shook his head with a slight movement. He and his younger-self had connected, Obi-wan didn’t know what the boy and felt or learnt, but Obi-wan hoped to protect him.

 

The child looked at him doubtfully before flinching as a healer entered. The newcomer was rightfully horrified and ushered the boy away. That was the last time Obi-wan saw the child.

 

Obi-wan watched them go before closing his eyes. He hoped there would be no lasting damage, he had already distorted this timeline enough. Revealing the Sith would _have_ to be enough.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it was, as he drifted in and out of consciousness, but finally, Qui-Gon came.

 

‘Obi-wan.’

 

Qui-Gon called his name for the first time in so so many years. Obi-wan hadn’t expected it to hurt like it did.

 

Obi-wan opened his eyes.

 

‘Qui-Gon.’

 

There was so much in that single thought, regret and acknowledgment swirling together.

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes said more than his old master probably ever would. Obi-wan’s mistake had cost him dearly.

 

‘Initiate Kenobi is alright.’

 

Always straight to the point when he wanted to avoid talking about himself.

 

Obi-wan didn’t answer with words but allowed his relief to shine through.

 

‘He lost a lot of energy but wasn’t harmed and should be back to normal in a few days.’

 

‘Good.’ Obi-wan wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, likely the Healers had lengthy explanations, but for now all that mattered was that the boy would be alright. Obi-wan could leave in peace.

 

It was silent between them until-

 

‘Why did you lie?’

 

Oh. Oh, Qui-Gon.

 

‘I didn’t’

 

Qui-Gon’s lip drew back.

 

‘You said your name was Ben. Why?’

 

Because he had been scared. A Jedi Master should have faced the truth, should have stepped into the light and let others see him for what he was.

 

Obi-wan hadn’t been that in far too long, and been forced into the shadows in order to survive.

 

‘You used to call me that.’ A fragment of the truth slipped out before Obi-wan could think about what he was doing. He shut his eyes thinking about what he was doing- It had been hard enough to get Qui-Gon to accept him as his padawan the first time, now… Now everything would be different. He wondered what would happen to the child now.

 

‘So you gave me some sort of monicker?’

 

Obi-wan met Qui-Gon’s gaze. ‘You didn’t know me.’ It wasn’t an accusation, but it was the best Obi-wan could do to explain. ‘I thought I was dead, and the one person I had hoped-’

 

Obi-wan shut down the thought before it could complete. Qui-Gon didn’t need to know all of that. Qui-Gon probably would want nothing to do with him soon enough, and that suited Obi-wan’s purposes just fine.

 

Qui-Gon searched Obi-wan’s eyes for the rest of the answer, but Obi-wan would not give it.

 

‘What were we to each other?’ The question was important, uncertainty showed in Qui-Gon’s eyes.

 

Ah yes. Obi-wan could imagine Qui-Gon’s misgivings, after all he had heard them spoken aloud so many years ago. ‘We were only ever Master and apprentice.’

 

Qui-Gon looked at him doubtfully.

 

‘Anything more was one-sided on my part.’ Obi-wan extrapolated. Qui-Gon had never wanted him, not in that way.

 

There was a sliver of something in Qui-Gon’s eyes that Obi-wan couldn’t quite identify. The silence between them did not last long.

 

‘Why did you come back? Was it because of the Sith?’

 

Obi-wan flinched. Qui-Gon deserved explanations, but some were too great and terrible to speak even in thought.

 

‘I think so. I think that… that what I came here for has been accomplished, and my time is up.’

 

Qui-Gon’s expression shuttered, something Obi-wan associated with deep felt emotion in his old master.

 

‘You still believe that?’ The reprimand in the question was clear. ‘Yoda still believes we need you otherwise he would have never have risked an initiate in such a way. The Master of your Sith Lord is still out there, you would abandon us now?’ Qui-Gon’s tone of voice conveyed exactly what he thought of both Yoda’s actions and Obi-wan’s apathy.

 

It also seemed that Qui-Gon had gotten at least some answers out of the council.

 

If Obi-wan could have sighed, he would have. ‘I’m useless now, surely you can see that?’

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes darkened. ‘You’re giving up too quickly.’

 

Obi-wan was getting tired. Despite pushing himself he knew that he wouldn’t last much longer.

 

‘I’m simply accepting what has already been done.’ Obi-wan held Qui-Gon’s gaze trying to make him understand. ‘My heart still beats, and my eyes may still see, but I am not alive, not really.” He paused, searching for words. “I woke up on Naboo already dead, and there is nothing we can do to change that. Not now.’

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes grew bright like a fire had been ignited in them.

 

‘Let me go Qui-Gon. Let me drown like I should have back on Illum.’ Maybe he was giving up, but he was tired. Oh so very tired. He had watched as his friends and _family_ died. He had kept going because he had a purpose, because he had to. And then the force had thrown him back to an existence where none of it had even happened. Even then he had had a purpose, a use. Now, now it was gone, and Obi-wan was used up as well.

 

‘I won’t let go, not while there’s a chance.’

 

‘There isn’t.’

 

  
‘There is. On Illum.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go! Xanatos is going to be a happy half-Jedi, and poor kid!Obi-wan got put in the middle of everything. I know that Illum might seem abrupt but Qui-Gon is just following his heart *cough*the force*cough*. And I swear, next chapter will be happy >.>


	10. The Journey Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jedi Healers find a way to help Obi-wan get back to Illum and Obi-wan and Qui-Gon finally have a real conversation.

Qui-Gon didn’t really understand what he was doing, but the force pushed him on. Obi-wan himself had given the spark that the force needed to speak. Illum. That’s where they needed to be.

  
  
The healers at first had been incredulous when he presented the idea, but Yoda had been thoughtful, and gradually instead of condemning the idea, began brainstorming how it was to be done. Obi-wan alone remained cynical of the enterprise but also satisfied. He believed that he was going to get what he wanted.

  
  
Qui-Gon felt an ire in him rise that he had to consciously suppress. He did understand in a way. Obi-wan was tired and numb to the guidance of the force, but it felt as though the man had just given up.  Qui-Gon couldn’t help but feel frustrated that a former padawan of his would let go so easily... Of course, Obi-wan’s apprenticeship was something he would likely never experience now, perhaps determination didn’t come naturally to the Jedi. Qui-Gon thought back to the boy that had attempted to help his older counterpart and regretted the thought. The boy had been frightened but followed the guidance of his teacher without balking. He didn’t deserve Qui-Gon’s ill thoughts.

  
  
Qui-Gon exhaled, it was all impossible to judge. Obi-wan had told the council the bare minimum of what had happened in the future and they were being tight lipped about what they did know. It would have been best to go straight to the source, but Ben still tired easily though he could now communicate in full sentences.

  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head as he made his way, once again, to the halls of healing. The man’s name wasn’t Ben. The thought still hurt Qui-gon in a way it shouldn’t have. He still didn’t understand B- Obi-wan’s explanation.

  
  
“Oh good, you made it just in time.” The head healer approached Qui-Gon as he entered the room.

  
  
“Just in time for what may I ask?” Qui-Gon replied wearily.

  
  
“We are ready to try and take Master Kenobi out of the Bacta Tank, and need you nearby- just in case.”

  
  
Qui-Gon frowned, “Have you figured out how to keep him stable then?”

  
  
There had been numerous ideas of how to move Obi-wan from Coruscant to Illum, but few of them workable. The simplest (and safest) would have been for Obi-wan to remain in Bacta for the duration of the journey and simply use a medical class star shift to complete the trip. Unfortunately, it would have been useless in the long run. Qui-Gon somehow knew that he needed to get Obi-wan into the Caves. Yoda agreed. The sacred Jedi site was a well-known nexus of the force and if the force wished to heal Obi-wan… it was possible it could be done there.

  
  
“We believe so. His vitals actually went up a bit after… the incident with young Obi-wan Kenobi.” The Healer winced, but continued her explanation. “The Bacta itself isn’t actually healing him, it’s simply acting as a conduit, allowing us to continually resupply Master Kenobi with the energy his body has almost ceased to create for itself. What he needs is a steady, relatively low release of energy that is ready-made for his body to use. Luckily Master Jos Vondar has come up with a tenable solution.”   


  
Qui-Gon fought the urge to rub his brow, “And that is?”

  
  
The Jedi healer’s lips quirked slightly as though she could sense his impatience. “We think that injections of microbots containing energy specialized for Master Kenobi might work. They will act like tiny battery packs and hopefully do exactly what we need them to.”

  
  
Qui-Gon winced, “Hopefully?”

  
  
The Jedi healer shared Qui-Gon’s look. “There is nothing certain about Master Kenobi’s case, we are in unknown territory dealing with anything like this… Even if it does work he still won’t have much energy so you will need to move him on a hoverbed.”

  
  
Qui-Gon sighed inwardly, it seemed as though all they were doing was guessing. “What are the chances of it working?”

  
  
The healer hesitated, “A little over 50/50. That’s why we wanted you here… just in case it doesn’t go as planned.”

  
  
Those were dim chances, indeed, when a life hung on the line.

  
  
Qui-Gon looked to where Obi-wan floated unconscious. Sometimes a chance was better than none.

  
  
“Very well, let me tell him about what’s to be done.”

  
  
“That’s probably wise.” The Healer acknowledged. “I will contact Master Yoda to let him know that we are going to go ahead with the transfer. Also, as you know, if it does work… you won’t have much time. Maybe 2-3 days at most before he will need to be re-immersed. Are you prepared to leave right away?”

  
  
“I will need some time to arrange for a ship then, as well as speak to my Padawan.” He wouldn't be able to call Xanatos that for much longer, Qui-Gon thought sadly.

 

  
The healer shook her head, “The ship is already taken care of, you’ll be leaving straight from the Medical bay, Dock A-13. You had better contact your padawan quickly.”

  
  
She turned and walked away while he took out his comm and messaged Xanatos. He had hoped for more warning before the journey, but he had been able to talk to Xanatos about it the night before.

  
  
Luckily, for once, Xanatos had his comm with him despite being in the temple. Their conversation was short, Xanatos was already meeting with some of the leaders in the senate delegation and was doing well. He would be able to grow and eventually thrive in the auxiliary corps of the Jedi. Xanatos wished his master the best and soon all that was left was to warn Ben of what was to happen.

  
  
‘Obi-wan?’ The man’s eyes were still closed, but something roused as Qui-Gon approached. Qui-Gon put his hand against the glass of the bacta tank. The touch helped to ground him as he reached out once more.

  
  
‘Obi-wan. The healers may have found a temporary measure to help get you to Illum.’

  
  
Grey eyes finally opened. ‘How?’

  
  
Qui-gon explained what the healers had planned.

  
  
'It won't last long.' Obi-wan seemed to mull over the thought.

  
  
'No, if it doesn't work, the healers believe we will only have two to three days to get you back to the temple.'

  
  
If Illum was unsuccessful. 

  
  
It was the unspoken risk between them. If anything went wrong- if Qui-Gon misunderstood what the force wished, it could cost Obi-wan his life.

  
  
'It will be enough.' Obi-wan replied, a resolve underlying the weakness of the thought.

  
  
'It will have to be.' Qui-Gon agreed. 

  
  
Yoda arrived while he was speaking to Obi-wan through their connection.  The old master approached. “Almost ready the healers are,” Yoda said pointedly.

  
  
“Yes, I was just warning Master Kenobi about what we are planning to do.”

  
  
Yoda frowned, not missing the hint that Qui-Gon believed that Obi-wan should have been consulted before the last attempt to heal had been made. 

  
  
“Hmph, ready is he?”

  
  
Qui-Gon glanced back at Obi-wan, “I believe so.” 

  
  
“That's good to hear.” The head healer said approaching them. “We are ready to begin the process as well.”

  
  
Qui-Gon nodded and mentally warned Obi-wan before addressing the healer. “Is there anything I can do to assist?”

  
  
The Healer shook her head, “No, not unless something goes wrong- the beginning phase is simply the insertion of the nanobots. Once we take him out of the tank, however, we may need you to stabilize him. Just stand right over there.”

  
  
Qui-Gon and Yoda both moved to the side and the healers began to do their work. The nanobots had to be inserted while Obi-wan was in the tank and as such no painkiller could be administered before hand.

  
  
Obi-wan seemed to take it in stride however and only a slight flinched signaled the man's discomfort as the large needles were inserted into his body at key points.

  
  
“Alright... the nanobots are in place and ready to be activated.” One of the healers said after checking the progress through a monitor.

  
  
“We'll begin draining the tank now.” The head healer addressed Yoda and Qui-Gon. We won't be able to activate the nanobots while he's still in contact with the activated Bacta, so stay close.” Qui-Gon nodded and moved forward so that he would be able to help as needed.   


  
As the Bacta level lowered Obi-wan slumped against the side of the tank, held up only by a few medical straps. 

  
  
One of the healers swore, “His vital signs are destabilizing.”

  
  
“Open that door now! Master Jinn I need you to do whatever you did before!”

  
  
The door of the tank was swung open and one of the healers worked quickly to disconnect Obi-wan from the supporting device.

  
  
As soon as Qui-gon could, he reached forward and grabbed hold of Obi-wan.

  
  
Instantly they were connected- even stronger than before. Distantly Qui-Gon heard the Head Healer asking him to bring Obi-wan from the tank and put him on the hoverbed nearby. His focus, however, remained completely on the man in his arms.

  
  
The connection between them had been so weak before, was still weak even now, but somehow in the short period between then and now and then Qui-Gon had forgotten how it felt. 

  
  
'Be careful.'  The thought came from Obi-wan as Qui-Gon tried to simultaneously follow the Healer's orders and acclimate to the connection between them.

 

'What do you mean?' He replied.

  
  
'You're making the bond grow.' Obi-wan answered, worry stronger than exhaustion in the thought. 

  
  
'The master-apprentice bond? I don't understand how it came to be in the first place, I never initiated the connection-'

  
  
'You never did, it was or rather is a natural bond.' Obi-wan replied sending ripples of shock through Qui-Gon. Natural bonds were rare and occurred through the will of the force. It explained why the connection between them seemed so different- because it was.

  
  
'It seems wise to allow it to continue to get stronger then.'

  
  
Qui-Gon laid Obi-wan on the table and distantly Qui-Gon could hear the healers begin to activate the nanobots.

  
  
'It's starting.'

  
  
'Yes, I know.' Obi-wan's thoughts were strained as pain began to thread across their bond. 'And no- you shouldn't.' Obi-wan's eyes opened wide as a gasp ripped through his body. The nanobots sparked into the life and began to integrate into his system.   


  
Qui-Gon could sense Obi-wan trying to block the pain from drifting across their bond, but he quickly put an end to that, not wishing the other man to drain himself. With a gasp, Qui-Gon sank to his knees next to the hover bed, but made sure his grip on Obi-wan’s hand never slackened. 

 

‘I’m hurting you.’ Pain and regret echoed through the thought, Obi-wan wanted him to let go.

 

‘I’m not leaving you.’ The thought was almost a growl and the strength of it washed over Obi-wan. For a moment Qui-Gon was worried that Obi-wan would falter under it, but instead, there was a moment frustration, worry, and something so much stronger that Qui-Gon couldn’t even name, and then the stubbornness and determination that Qui-Gon had doubted in arose.

 

There was still aching pain as the nanobots integrated with Obi-wan’s system, but it was fading as Obi-wan accepted the pain, no, pushed into it until there was nothing Qui-Gon could do. With the pain Obi-wan seemed to strengthen as he used the energy the nanobots were creating.

 

Qui-Gon realized what the other man was doing. ‘Don’t rush it. You’re hurting yourself.’ Horrified concern whirled through the thought.

 

‘You won’t let go.’ The breathless reply came. ‘I can’t make you- so I’ll do what I can.’

 

The pain was already fading from their bond and Qui-Gon was able to stumble to his feet.

 

‘I’m here to help you! You don’t have to do it all on your own.’ He tried to push in, to carry more of the load, but the energy that the nanobots were now giving Obi-wan allowed him for the first time to begin controlling his side of the bond.

 

‘Don’t shut me out.’ It was a demand mixed with a plea.

 

‘You don’t understand what you are doing.’ There was affectionate exasperation in the thought.

 

It riled Qui-Gon, ‘I am trying to help you-’

 

‘And I’m protecting you!’ The thought came like a whiplash.

 

Qui-Gon pulled back for a moment stung. Incredulous that Obi-wan would be trying to do such a thing when he was in such pain and close to dying himself.

 

Gentle reassurance came over the bond but without regret or give. ‘Qui-Gon, I can’t let you make it stronger.’ There was a breath as Obi-wan steeled himself through another wave of pain from the nanobots. ‘A natural bond can't be severed easily, and the death of one is-’ The pain this time wasn’t from the nanobots.  '-not something I would wish for you.'

 

That was when Qui-Gon realized that he had died. At some point a future where he had become Obi-wan’s master he had died- leaving Obi-wan behind to reap the consequences of a broken bond. Qui-Gon felt the breath go out of him, the bond should have, would have been closed off once Obi-wan became a knight which meant that Qui-Gon had died while Obi-wan had still been a padawan.

 

More than being shocked by the inevitability of his death, he was distressed that Obi-wan had lost his master during such a fragile state of life. He had known more than one padawan who couldn’t bare to continue to journey to Knighthood without their Master by their side and had asked to be released from their oaths. That Obi-wan had managed to do so with a natural bond was stunning.

 

Qui-Gon realized all this within seconds, along with the fact that he couldn’t let Obi-wan keep pushing him away, not now.”

  
  
‘It shouldn’t matter. You’re not going to die, that’s why we’re going to Illum.’ Qui-Gon put all the faith that he had of the force into the thought, trying to give Obi-wan hope.   


  
Though Obi-wan didn't put his thoughts into words Qui-Gon could still feel Obi-wan's doubt.

  
  
'You still believe that the force has brought you back to simply die?' Qui-Gon desperation turned into frustration and he couldn't hide his anger at the thought.

  
  
'We've already discussed this.' Obi-wan was distancing himself.

  
'Yes, we have and if you could sense the force you would know better.' Qui-Gon rebuked.    


  
'It is difficult to know the will of the force.” Obi-wan returned.

  
  
'And you believe it wishes you to return to Illum to die.' Qui-Gon thought flatly, his criticism of the idea clear.

  
  
Obi-wan did not answer right away, hesitating, “I believe that the force's will may be for me to return to my own time and place. There was more that I was meant to do.'

  
  
Qui-Gon did his best to hold back his displeasure. 'You are not just a tool for the force to use.'

  
  
The healers had finished their work with the nanobots and were ready to see if Obi-wan's vitals would stay stable. Qui-Gon reluctantly let go and allowed their bond to begin to fade into the background, but could feel Obi-wan's disbelief as he did so. 

 

Qui-Gon felt cold that the man who had once his padawan even in a distant future could feel that way about himself.

  
“Is it working?” Qui-Gon asked turning his attention to the healers.

  
  
“It is...” The head healer said frowning. 'It's not as stable as we were hoping, however, I don't know if the nanobots will be able to last the entire duration that we estimated.

  
  
“If it doesn't, I'll be there.”

  
  
The Healer nodded with a frown. “I hope you and Yoda are right.” She said quietly.

 

Qui-Gon felt a shiver go down his spine. “I hope so too.”

 

The Healers finished working with Obi-wan who was awake but still weak. The man who Qui-Gon was realizing was much more stubborn that had thought (or believed possible) had tried to sit up but was quickly ordered to stay where he was.

 

Strangely, despite their contentious dialogue through their bond, Qui-Gon saw Obi-wan look to him for help. Qui-Gon felt his chest tighten and almost immediately moved forward again to help.

 

“Surely we can set the hover bed up so that he can sit upright?” He argued with the nearby healer who had taken over making sure Obi-wan stayed down.

 

The said healer’s face paled and turned indignant- “We need to move him shortly, he needs to save as much energy as he can for the journey.”

 

“Please.”

 

It was the first word Obi-wan had spoken since the ordeal began and immediately got the attention of all the healers, including the head healer.

 

“Oh for Force’s sake, tilt the bed up, he’ll be fine.” The head healer ordered with no small amount of concern in her eyes. The healer who had been so reluctant to allow Obi-wan up before hurried to follow the order.

 

“Are you alright?” Qui-Gon asked aloud once it was done.

 

Obi-wan nodded slightly, still looking tired, “Yes, thank you.” His voice was raspy, expected after so long in the bacta tank.

 

“Good.” The Head Healer said still eyeing Obi-wan like he was made of glass, and in a way, Qui-Gon suppose, he was. “Alright, we better move you onto your transport. You won’t have much time.”

 

Obi-wan’s hoverbed was moved to the Medical Bay where their ship was waiting. The healers who were helping guided the bed into the transport while the Head Healer help Qui-Gon back and handed him a PADD.

 

“Here, this will keep track of Obi-wan’s vitals, if he falls into the red… well, you will need to keep him stable and get him back here as soon as you can.”

 

Qui-Gon nodded and quickly looked through it. Obi-wan’s vitals rose and fell between the green and yellow. He looked to the healer questioningly. She just shook her head, “It’s the best we can do.”

 

He swallowed, “I understand.” 

 

Qui-Gon moved into the transport and made sure that Obi-wan was ready for take off. The man seemed relieved when Qui-Gon ushered the two healers along with the hoverbed out of the ship.

 

The pilot poked his head out of the cockpit to find out if they were ready and with Qui-Gon’s assent began the procedures for takeoff.

 

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


It had been a relief when Qui-Gon had stepped in to help Obi-wan with the healers despite Obi-wan pushing the other man away. It had almost been as painful as the nanobots themselves to do so, but Obi-wan wouldn’t, no, he couldn’t let the bond get any stronger. It shouldn’t have existed anyway, and the consequences of it were already far too great.

 

Obi-wan tried his best to not flinch when the Healers moved him up into the transport and shifted him off the hoverbed and onto one of the ship’s sleeping pads. He did not _ like _ strangers touching him, not since Rattatak, and for it to be while he was so vulnerable- A shudder moved down his spine, but luckily the healers seemed happy with how the situated him. Obi-wan hated it.

 

He wanted to shift so he could see more than just the ceiling above him. So that he could see the space around him, but the Healers were still hovering by. Obi-wan had already weighed the pros and cons and decided he could wait. The nanobots were a constant ache and didn’t give him enough energy to do much, but it was enough.

 

Qui-Gon came up the ramp and finally made the healer’s leave, Obi-wan wanted to move immediately, but waited until the pilot of the starship confirmed that they were ready for takeoff and Qui-Gon began sitting down nearby.

 

“What are you doing?” Obi-wan had been half expecting the reprimand but still winced as he looked over quickly from where he was trying to roll to the side.

 

“I’m moving.” He said dryly, his voice still rough. He wasn't quite able to moderate his tone between the pain and the slight panic he was still feeling.

 

Qui-Gon huffed with exasperation- he seemed to do that a lot now and moved over to help Obi-wan move.

 

He looked at him speculatively, “Are you going to be alright in that position?”

 

Obi-wan was slightly curled up with his arm pillowing his head. “Yes, thank you.” Obi-wan looked away feeling too vulnerable despite his trust in Qui-Gon.

 

Much to his shock, he felt a hand card through his hair that had fallen over his forehead, pushing it back up so it was out of the way. He looked back up sharply to Qui-Gon who looked somehow both bemused and abashed at the same time. Under them, they could feel the starship lift off. Obi-wan swallowed as he tried to push the discomfort of the lift away, he really did hate flying.

 

Qui-Gon easily kept his balance during the takeoff but didn’t move away. “You should have let the healer’s help you.” The admonition was gentle and likely born more out of concern more than anything else, but Obi-wan was tired.

 

“I’m not your padawan.” Obi-wan hadn’t entirely meant to speak the words, he had only barely whispered them, but it was obvious that Qui-Gon had heard from the way his eyes widened and a frown appeared.

 

Obi-wan felt bad for lashing out but he wasn’t a child, or a padawan anymore, he hadn’t been for a long time. 

 

He hoped that Qui-Gon would pretend that he hadn’t heard and move away. Or perhaps give him the silent treatment (Obi-wan had been quite familiar with it he had been a student), but it wasn’t to be.

 

“Perhaps I was mistaken then, you said that you were,” Qui-Gon said, the voice carrying frustration.

 

“I _was_.” Obi-wan countered, holding Qui-Gon’s gaze. “But not to you, not in this reality.” The Qui-Gon he had known was a different man. Obi-wan understood that.

 

Qui-Gon folded his arms, “Why are you saying this? Is this the reason you won’t accept me?”

 

Obi-wan took in a sharp breath. “No.” His stomach felt like it had dropped away from where it was supposed to be. “You already know why. I won’t-”

 

Qui-Gon cut him off- “You won’t **die**!” The words echoed in the hull and Qui-Gon visibly calmed himself before kneeling next to the sleeping pad so that they could speak eye to eye.

 

“I know what you believe, but you _don’t_ have to go through this alone.”

 

Obi-wan turned his head to hid his eyes, not wanting Qui-Gon to see how much his words of comfort had hurt. If he was right, he  _ would _ be alone, or maybe dead. Though he wasn’t quite sure why the force would demand he return to Illum just for that. He could easily do so at the temple after all.

 

“Obi-wan…” Qui-gon said hesitantly. 

 

“I’m _ tired _ .” The words were muffled, but Obi-wan didn’t have the energy to argue this. Not when he wanted it so badly but knew he couldn’t.

 

There was silence for a moment before Obi-wan heard Qui-Gon move away. “It’ll be alright. You’ll see.” A tear escaped and rolled down Obi-wan’s cheek, luckily hidden by his arm. It wouldn’t be. He would return to a world, a universe, where the Jedi, his family, had been all but wiped away. He would return to darkness to fulfill his duty until one day he would, at last, be allowed to die. He hoped, no prayed that Illum somehow would heal him because without the force he doubted his ability to withstand such a future. 

  
  
  


 

Obi-wan must have fallen asleep because he woke up to Qui-Gon putting a blanket on him. He looked up questioningly.

 

“You're shivering,” Qui-Gon explained with a frown.

 

“Oh.” He hadn’t realized just how cold he was. The blanket didn’t help much.

 

“Open up the bond, maybe it will help.” Obi-wan glared and shook his head, no, as long as he was strong enough he would keep it closed.

 

Qui-Gon sighed before gently moving Obi-wan onto his other side.

 

“What- are you doing?” Obi-wan breathed out, his teeth chattering.

 

“Your vitals are falling along with your body’s temperature,” Qui-Gon explained. “I’m hoping close physical proximity will help with both.”

 

Obi-wan’s stomach clenched. “You’re trying to make the bond stronger.” He accused as Qui-Gon got onto the bed behind him and resituated the blanket accordingly.

 

“I’m trying to help you.” Qui-Gon’s said softly, “I was able to do so before partly through touch, I am hoping it will work again.” The larger man’s arm wrapped around him pulling him in close. Obi-wan’s breath hitched. It wasn’t the first time that they had been so close, but Obi-wan hadn’t been aware before.

 

“...I’m sorry that I’m not him.”

 

“What?” Obi-wan’s voice came out shaky.

 

“You… loved him didn’t you? And then he died.” Obi-wan felt like a knife had been driven through his heart. Another tear trickled down his cheek. For force’s sake why couldn’t he control his emotions?! “How did you-”

 

“The broken force bond. You know what it's like.”

 

Oh.

 

Obi-wan brushed the tear away with the sleeve of his shirt. He had managed to survive Qui-Gon’s death through the help of the Force, and now he had to face it alone. “You shouldn’t be sorry,” Obi-wan’s voice quivered. “You are happier now than you ever were before.” When you were with me.

 

“But you loved him.” Why was Qui-Gon saying this? It almost sounded like jealousy which was ridiculous. 

 

“It didn’t matter.” He didn’t want to remember. “I was only a child to him.” An unwanted one at that.

 

Qui-Gon’s arm tightened around him almost as though he could sense Obi-wan’s unspoken thought.

 

There was silence between them for a moment and Obi-wan’s shivers slowly began to subside, Qui-Gon’s close proximity working despite Obi-wan keeping the bond closed on his end.

 

“Why don’t you want to stay?” The words were soft and wistful. Obi-wan felt his heart twist with them. “What makes you wish to leave so badly?”

 

“I don’t!” Obi-wan gasped out, trying to roll to face Qui-Gon, but not having the energy to do so on his own. Qui-Gon could sense what he wished however and helped him so that they were laying face to face, only inches apart.

 

“I don’t want to leave.” He said again breathing heavily from both the exertion of moving and what they were discussing.

 

“Then why are you so determined the force wants you to do so?” Qui-Gon asked, his voice rumbling. His hand moving up to gently cup Obi-wan’s cheek.

 

“The force has never listened to what I want,” Obi-wan whispered, knowing that this moment would haunt him but being unable to break away.

 

Qui-Gon’s eyes searched his. “Perhaps this time will be different.”

 

“No…” Obi-wan breathed out. “There are moments.” He confessed. “But that’s all I ever have. I’m-” not meant to be happy. Not after all his failures- what he had caused to happen.

 

 

“I wish you would let me know you,” Qui-Gon said as his thumb brushed across Obi-wan’s cheek sending a shiver down his spine. His eyes were as longing as his voice and Obi-wan had to look away.

 

“Why would you want to?” Obi-wan whispered. Qui-Gon had never wanted him, why would he wish to know the broken man that he had become?

 

“...I’ve wanted to know you since the first moment we spoke,” Qui-Gon said slowly. “You tried so hard to keep your secrets, and I’ll admit my curiosity got the better of me.” A smile curled up on Qui-Gon’s lips. “But the moments we just talked... were like a breath of fresh air.” The smile faded and Qui-Gon’s hand slipped away. “I don’t know if it was the beginnings of the bond recreating itself, but I wanted to get close to you. I thought we would have _time_.”

 

That had been Obi-wan’s fault. Yet another one to add to the list. He had been frightened and it had led him to run straight into the arms of the Sith. Palpatine was dead only through chance and now a worse evil had revealed itself. If Obi-wan had just stayed at the temple a bit longer-

 

There was no knowing what would have or could have happened.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Obi-wan couldn’t see it but a look of disconcertion spread on Qui-Gon’s face. “What in the world for?”

 

“It’s my fault- I left-”

 

Qui-Gon growled, “The council didn’t tell me much, but they did explain what you planned. You didn’t know what you were walking into.” His hand settled on Obi-wan’s side, almost holding him.

 

“No, but I should have known better,” Obi-wan confessed, finally shifting to look at how Qui-Gon would respond. “I’ve dealt with Sith before, I know how they hide in plain sight.”

 

Qui-Gon searched Obi-wan’s eyes, “...What was your mistake then?” Qui-Gon asked slowly.

 

Obi-wan tensed, he was familiar with what Qui-Gon was doing, he had experienced it when he was still a padawan.

 

“I’m not a child.” Obi-wan rebuked, his shoulders hunching down.  He did not wish to be led down a path of questions to an answer only his master could see.

 

Qui-Gon answered with a pinched smile, “I know. Believe me, I do…” He let out a weary sigh. “...I can’t be the man you knew as your master. That future only exists in your past now.” A breath hung between them. “But I had hoped that you would let me be your friend.”

 

Obi-wan sucked in a breath, he shouldn’t have been simultaneously elated and heartbroken from a single word. He swore that he had crushed every seed of hope that had been planted in his heart, but somehow they had still grown there. He closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. He was yet another pitiful creature to Qui-Gon and the man wouldn’t let go easily.

 

“I would like that.” He whispered.

 

“Then let me help you.” Qui-Gon’s hand squeezed his side lightly and it might as well have been squeezing his heart.

 

“I won’t let you strengthen the bond.” He said quickly. He would not let Qui-Gon go through that.

 

Qui-Gon let out a sigh of exasperation, such a sigh would have once been accompanied by a tug on his padawan tail but now there was nothing but a playful tap, a little lower than Obi-wan expected. “Yes, I know. I have apparently met the only man in this galaxy more stubborn than myself.” Qui-Gon said wryly before growing more serious. “Let me help you let go of some of the guilt you are carrying on your shoulders.”

 

Obi-wan let out a broken half-laugh, oh if only Qui-Gon knew. “And what good would that do?” Obi-wan had to accept his mistakes and learn from them, or if there was nothing he could learn- take responsibility.

 

Qui-Gon didn’t directly answer the question. “You can’t carry the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders… you’re only one man Obi-wan.”

 

He snorted, “One man can be responsible for the death of millions.”

 

This time he could see the disconcertion spread on Qui-Gon’s face. “...Were you?”

 

Obi-wan looked away. “In a sense.” Qui-Gon began to look doubtful. “I helped, no, I led a war that led to the death of countless innocents and culminated in the destruction of the Jedi Order.” Obi-wan met Qui-Gon’s eyes ready for the judgment that he had imagined so many times before.

 

Qui-Gon was as horrified as he had thought he would be, but the other man’s response was anything but. Obi-wan was pulled against Qui-Gon, cradled like he was something small and precious and not tool at all. He breathed heavily as he tried to understand what Qui-Gon was thinking, a part of him aching to open the bond and see for himself-

 

He couldn’t.

“You survived that?” Qui-Gon whispered. Obi-wan didn’t know what to say so he just nodded, Qui-Gon’s beard tickling against his ear. “By the force no wonder-” Qui-Gon muttered. Obi-wan  wasn’t sure what the man was realizing but it wasn’t what Obi-wan needed him to understand.

 

“Why don’t you see?” Obi-wan breathed out, “I became a tool of the Sith. The whole order did and I didn’t _see_.”

 

“Did you know?” Qui-Gon asked pulling back to meet Obi-wan’s eyes but cradling his head in his hands.

 

Not this again.

 

Obi-wan gave in.

 

“No, but I should have.”

 

“Could you have?”

 

“...The pieces were there. I should have been able to put them together to realize-”

 

“Could you have, though?”

 

A tear leaked from Obi-wan’s eye and was wiped away gently by Qui-Gon’s thumb. “I don’t know.” He said brokenly.

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

The question was crushing, one that Obi-wan had asked himself a thousand times. He knew the answer. “I was tired. I- I thought that it was all almost over, that if we could just last a few weeks more then I could help make everything right again. I… couldn’t think clearly. I don’t know what it was, but every time I was on Coruscant, I think it was the Sith, there was a fog and I left him.” Obi-wan rambled on, he had made a thousand mistakes, all of them accumulating to cause his greatest failure.

 

“Left who?”

 

Obi-wan looked away. Anakin wasn’t even born yet, he would not reveal what his friend had done, not even to Qui-Gon.

 

“A man I was supposed to protect… His death marked the end of the Jedi Order.” Obi-wan dissembled. The truth was a matter of perspective after all. “So you see, when I failed him, I failed every living soul in the order.”

 

Qui-Gon frowned, “Could you have known that it was more important for you to stay than go?”

 

“That doesn’t matter, I should have known!”

 

“Should haves aren’t the way the galaxy works Obi-wan!  Many things should be another way, but they aren’t. You must face what actually was!” Obi-wan wanted to pull back stung by the truth in Qui-Gon’s words. 

 

Silence hung heavy between them before Qui-Gon spoke again, “I can’t know what you’ve been through, but I do know you survived something unimaginable where as countless others did not. That leaves a scar on a man- no matter how good or brave or strong he is.” Qui-Gon paused. “If I’m right… then you couldn’t have known. Either you didn’t have  _ all _ the pieces. Or the Sith had already gained too much control of Coruscant and you _couldn’t_  have known.”

 

“Don’t…” Obi-wan pleaded.

 

“What?” Qui-Gon asked confused and concerned all at once.

 

“Don’t make me helpless.” He cried, “I wasn’t, I-” Tears tracked down his face. If Obi-wan had given all of himself, if he couldn’t have known better- than what was left?

 

“Shh,” Qui-Gon tried to reassure him, but the lid on pandora’s box was already open and tears continued to leak down his cheeks. “It’s alright-” Qui-Gon pulled him close again and gently kissed the side of his brow. “You aren’t helpless, you’ve done so much already.” Qui-Gon murmured. Obi-wan shuddered in Qui-Gon's arms and took every ounce of comfort he could get from them. Come Illum, he might not ever be able to feel them around him again.

 

His tears along with the weight of their conversation tired him despite Qui-Gon's close proximity. Sleep claimed him before he could remember the tears stopping. 

 

 

 

 

He woke to Qui-Gon’s hand on his shoulder.

  
“We’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so that chapter was alot longer than it was supposed to be... and also didn't include quite a bit that WAS supposed to be in there. But I am still hopeful that I can finish this in 12 chapters... maybe 13 x.x I am going to try really hard to finish this before the end of the year, so here's crossing our fingers! Hope you enjoyed! And I swear your reviews keep me going, thanks so so much to those of you who take the time to send me a word! :)


	11. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He woke to Qui-Gon’s hand on his shoulder.
> 
>  
> 
> “We’re here.”

 

 

There was a storm approaching.

 

The pilot had tried his best to get them as close to the Caves as possible, but they would still have a small hike to go.

 

“You should consider waiting, if you go out now you might not be able to get back to the ship for a few days.” The pilot said as he looked over the weather readings.

 

Qui-Gon grimaced, could nothing go right? “We can’t wait, we’ll have to bring the survival gear with us to wait it out.” He looked back to Obi-wan who was still sleeping, his eyes puffy red from their conversation earlier. It had been his fault for pushing, but he had wanted to understand the man by his side and help him if he could. In all honesty, he had done little of either. Obi-wan’s past was far darker than he had ever imagined.

 

“I’ll grab the packs for you then, but I’ll need to stay here to make sure the ship doesn’t get frozen up in the meantime.”

 

It made sense, large storms on Illum could bury a ship in a matter of hours let alone days. “That’s fine, combine what you can into just the one pack- I’ll need to carry Obi-wan in.” As much as he would like to pack himself he didn’t want to lose contact with Obi-wan.

 

When the pilot had first come in to explain the situation, Qui-Gon had gotten up from the sleeping pad but Obi-wan had begun shivering again almost immediately, meaning that a problem with the nanobots had begun to set back in. He sat back down and made sure that he kept one hand on Obi-wan at all times. The shudders gradually subsided.

 

“That’s a lot of weight to be carrying around.” The pilot said somewhat doubtfully, but Qui-Gon’s half raised eyebrow sent him away to do what Qui-Gon had asked.

 

It was time to wake up Obi-wan.

 

Qui-Gon gently shook Obi-wan’s shoulder. Bleary eyes looked up at him. “We’re here.” He said quietly with a worried smile. Despite his faith in the force, Obi-wan’s insistence that he had more to do in his original time made Qui-Gon uneasy. He felt that Obi-wan would somehow be healed here- but the force was a subtle thing, and guided rather than spoke. There was a chance that Obi-wan was right, that just as the force had given, it would take as well.

 

Obi-wan swallowed dryly. “On Illum?” Qui-Gon nodded despite the obvious answer. Though Obi-wan had been willing to go to Illum, Qui-Gon could sense a thread of dread through their closed bond. It was getting stronger despite all of Obi-wan’s efforts.

 

“There is a storm on the horizon that may last for quite some time so we need to hurry,” Qui-Gon explained.

 

Obi-wan nodded in understanding as the pilot came back in, “Alright, I’ve done my best, you two better put these on otherwise you’ll freeze sooner rather than later out there.” The pilot set the overstuffed bag on the ground and handed them the winterwear.

 

Qui-Gon helped Obi-wan into his first before quickly getting into his own.  Even in that much time, the shivers had started up again and Qui-Gon quickly pulled on the survival gear pack before lifting Obi-wan in his arms. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Qui-Gon couldn’t help a small chuckle as he felt Obi-wan’s embarrassment in the force along with the slight flush across his cheeks.

 

“Isn’t it rather a long way to carry me like this?” Obi-wan said hushed, with a glance to the pilot who was waiting to open the hold door.

 

Qui-Gon let out a small laugh before saying goodbye to the pilot. Icy air blew in as the door opened and Qui-Gon held Obi-wan just a bit closer so that the other man’s face would be sheltered from the bitter cold.

 

“I wouldn’t worry, it’s not far and you’re not heavy,” Qui-Gon said it jokingly but there was concern beneath his words. He remembered seeing how thin Obi-wan was.

 

A huff of air warmed Qui-Gon’s neck, “It seems as though a hoverbed would be easier.”

 

“Not if we need to stay in near constant contact… which we do.” Qui-Gon reminded with good humor.

 

A sigh was his only answer and they walked towards the entrance of the caves in quiet.

 

“Ah, here we are.” Qui-Gon breathed out as he looked at the icy wall the hid the passage in.

 

Obi-wan turned the best he could to look as well. The wind was blowing harder now and a shiver ran through the man. Qui-Gon hoped that it was just because of the cold.

 

“This might take me a moment.” Qui-Gon sad wryly as he knelt in the snow, making sure to keep Obi-wan steady throughout it all.

 

Closing his eyes he reached out to touch the force surrounding Illum. There was unimaginable power in this place and it could easily overwhelm the unprepared. Qui-Gon kept steady however as the power swelled around him and he asked for entrance.

 

The force swirled as his worth was decided- and then Obi-wan’s presence joined his.

Qui-Gon wasn’t aware of it, but his breath hitched as Obi-wan allowed the bond between them to crack open. Together their presence was met with warmth in the force and cracking ice alerted Qui-Gon to the door opening.

 

All too soon, however, Obi-wan pulled away once again and Qui-Gon was left alone.

 

“Oh…” Qui-Gon opened his eyes to see the passage to the Caves open for them. He looked down to Obi-wan but the other man wouldn’t meet his gaze. Qui-Gon was starting to understand what Obi-wan was protecting him from.

 

The bond was getting stronger, a glowing warmth between them that filled cracks that Qui-Gon hadn’t even known were there.

 

When Obi-wan had pulled back it felt like a door slamming shut leaving him in darkness.

 

A door through which he could still see cracks of light.

 

What would it be like when there was nothing?

 

Qui-Gon heaved a breath, “Let’s get inside shall we?”

  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Obi-wan shouldn’t have done that. He knew he shouldn’t have. But the temptation had been unbelievably strong as he felt Qui-Gon reach out to the force to ask entrance. He had meant only to be able to feel Qui-Gon’s warmth one last time, but the slight crack in his shields had grown like water breaking through a dam.

 

Another shudder rolled through him. It was definitely getting worse, Obi-wan felt like he had dunked himself into an icy bath when he shut down the bond once again. His time was running out.

 

Qui-Gon carried him into the icy cavern that acted as a sort of foyer to the twisting crystal caves. The icy waterfall that normally blocked the last door to the caves was in the process of reforming which meant they would only have a few hours at most unless they wanted to cut themselves out.

 

Qui-Gon paused for a moment. Obi-wan looked up curiously, “Though I don’t mind carrying you, the pack is a different matter.” Qui-Gon said wryly meeting his eyes. Obi-wan quickly looked away, embarrassed, despite himself, at being caught looking.

 

In order to shrug off the pack, Qui-Gon had to set Obi-wan down but was able to do so without completely losing contact.

 

Qui-Gon picked Obi-wan back up and began the last part of their journey. They didn’t speak about which path to take, but Obi-wan knew where they would end up. He leaned into Qui-Gon, saying the goodbye that he knew the man would reject when the time came.

 

The icy echo of Qui-Gon’s footsteps stopped. Obi-wan took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he had to do. His hands clenched tightly on Qui-Gon’s robes, betraying his own reluctance as he turned away and saw where the were.

 

The massive cavern where Obi-wan fell through time disappeared into darkness, lit only dimly by light that was beginning to fade. They stayed like that unmoving for a moment as Obi-wan steeled himself for what he had to do.

 

“Put me in the water.”

 

Qui-Gon’s grip on him had already been firm but now it tightened almost painfully-holding Obi-wan close and wringing his heart all at the same time.

 

“It’s where I came from,” Obi-wan whispered.

 

“You could die.” Qui-Gon’s voice cracked, and Obi-wan was reminded how very different this Qui-Gon was to the one who had been his teacher. Obi-wan wished that he loved him less for it rather than more. “It’s freezing… the force will provide another way. Perhaps we need to wait until the ice has frozen over to get to the other side.” Qui-Gon was grasping at straws.

 

Obi-wan used what strength he had to wrap his arms around Qui-Gon, praying to the force that Qui-Gon would be alright. “I’m sorry.” Obi-wan had said those words and meant them many times before, but never more so than now. “Please.”

 

Almost unwillingly Qui-Gon began to walk forward, his steps jolty until finally, they were at the edge of the ice and the light that faintly lit the water’s surface.

 

“Don’t leave me. Promise me you’ll come back.” Qui-Gon begged as he knelt down, not releasing his hold on Obi-wan in the slightest.

 

Obi-wan clenched his eyes shut. He had always tried to do what Qui-Gon asked.

 

He had failed so many many times.

 

“...I’ll try.” He whispered.

 

Obi-wan could feel Qui-Gon’s heart pounding. He wished that there had been another way. That someone else could have let him go.

 

“There is no try.” Qui-Gon choked out as he loosened his hold.

 

Obi-wan gasped as he felt the first touch of water making Qui-Gon freeze.

 

“Let go.” Obi-wan had to force out between his teeth as thousands of pin needles bit into his skin. For a moment he didn’t know if Qui-Gon would listen to heave him back out, but Qui-Gon had always listened to the force- no matter the cost to himself. Obi-wan sank deeper into the water, his lungs heaving as his body tried to acclimate. Qui-Gon’s arms sank with him, the other man not letting go even then.

 

The shivers that Qui-Gon’s presence had been holding off now were shaking through him for an entirely different reason. Obi-wan had only ever felt this cold once before- and he thought had died as a result. Qui-Gon’s eyes were searching his- the hope fading like the light around them.

 

“Qu-i-ggon.” Obi-wan shuttered out.     _Let me go._ The bond between them that Obi-wan had tried so hard to block off was opening now much to Obi-wan’s horror. He was going to die and Qui-Gon would feel the full brunt of that.

 

Despite the bond opening between them, the force remained a distant memory and finally, the last glimmer of hope in Qui-Gon’s eyes died. Obi-wan felt is as Qui-Gon realized through the force that there truly was no other way.

 

Obi-wan tried to speak, but he couldn’t force the air out of his lungs to sound anything like words, so instead he weakly pulled Qui-Gon down to his level and kissed the man for the first as last time.

 

_Thank you_

 

“Obi-wan” Qui-Gon sobbed as Obi-wan pushed away, and broke Qui-Gon’s frozen hold on him.

 

Obi-wan sank like a rock. Qui-Gon’s cries silenced by water engulfing him. Obi-wan continued to look up, reaching for the light that had been so close to being his.

  


His lungs had frozen up the second he had been immersed but now they were burning for air that they would never get. Had he been wrong? Was he destined to die here after all? What about Luke? What about what he had left behind?

 

What about Qui-Gon?

 

Why did the force ask him to come just to die?

 

Then it began to come back.

 

The further Obi-wan sank the stronger it became. Even as darkness clouded his vision, the light of the force grew brighter and brighter.

 

Obi-wan was in a Nexus of the force, the beginning, the end, and where a soul could be remade.

  


* * *

  


 

Qui-Gon had felt his faith slipping, step by step, doubt swirling through his heart even as the force encouraged him onward.

 

He held Obi-wan close despite his growing certainty that he would be forced to let the man go. Yet, yet, he clung on to hope. The force would heal Obi-wan… and give him back. The second part of the thought was half plea, half demand. Qui-Gon knew better than to make such demands, but his heart burned with it all the same.

 

Qui-Gon had always known that the universe could be cruel, but a part of him believed that it would never be more than one could withstand- if the force was with them. Qui-Gon couldn’t see how the force had allowed this to happen to Obi-wan.

 

He couldn’t see how he could let Obi-wan go.

 

The force pushed him on.

 

He should have known where they would end up. Obi-wan certainly hadn’t been surprised. But a part of him had been hoping it was anywhere but here.

 

Obi-wan’s request had been like a knife through his heart.

 

The forces’ approval was like the betrayal of a trusted parent.

 

He had tried to rationalize, begging the force to give a different answer, searching for another way.

 

There wasn’t one.

 

Qui-Gon had prayed that if he just held on long enough that the force would grant them a reprieve. That Obi-wan would stop asking him to let go, that the force would change its mind.

 

There was a part of him that knew it was cruel to prolong Obi-wan’s departure, that if he held on too long and Obi-wan was right about returning to another time that it could hurt Obi-wan even more.

 

He couldn’t let go.

 

The almost frozen water stung his arms, and he couldn’t imagine how it felt to Obi-wan who was almost completely immersed.

 

Then light cracked through. The bond between them bloomed like a blossom, no longer held in check by Obi-wan’s iron will. Qui-Gon could feel Obi-wan horror and remorse, but he couldn’t regret what was between them.

 

Qui-Gon loved him.

 

He barely knew him, but Qui-Gon had fallen all the same, and through the bond, he could feel the strength of what Obi-wan felt for him.

 

He could also feel the carnage that had been done to Obi-wan’s soul.

 

The force wasn’t coming back.

 

Qui-Gon’s faith flickered and died.

 

Obi-wan’s looked at him with such care, cold freezing up his muscles so that any words he tried to speak were choked.

 

_Thank you_

 

The words were cruel despite being well meant. Qui-Gon hadn’t expected the gentle tug down and had nearly gasped when Obi-wan’s icy blue lips touched against his own.

 

His shock combined with the numbness growing through his fingers were enough to slacken his hold on Obi-wan when the man used the last of his strength to push away. He cried out and tried to get Obi-wan back, but it was too late.

  
Obi-wan was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo close to the end you guys. Sorry I didn't get this out sooner, I really wanted to finish the entire story before I posted the 11th chapter and my best friends wedding plus Christmas took out most of my free time. The good news is that I do have the last chapter finished and will probably post in a few days :) Thanks so much for reading!


	12. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every story has an end.

Qui-Gon didn’t know how long he knelt on the ice, his sobs quieting into silence as the underground lake slowly froze over.

 

He wondered if the bond breaking had already happened and that’s why his heart felt so numb or whether it would be gradual and slowly destroy him even more.

 

A part of him didn’t even believe it was gone- just muted, just faded like when Obi-wan had blocked it.

 

Qui-Gon didn’t know if the cold he was feeling came from around him or within.

 

The tiniest pinprick of light remained in the cavern. Soon even that would be gone, and then Obi-wan would be sealed into an icy grave. He wondered if Obi-wan had made it to the other side- of time or of life.

 

His hand clenched and for once he gave into the anger rising inside of him. In his fury, he punched at the ice and felt pain shoot up his arm.

 

“You took him, you took him from me.” He cried out, knowing the force wouldn’t answer.

 

But then it did.

 

Qui-Gon wasn’t listening at first. His own pain and anger clouding his vision.

 

The force rose like a wave, stronger than Qui-Gon had ever felt before, and without even realizing it Qui-Gon was stumbling up and running towards the last glow of light on the ice.

 

He was going to be too late, he was- The ice had sealed over, but within seconds Qui-Gon drove his lightsaber into the ice and felt it crumble beneath him.

 

The water engulfed him with its icy grip and snuffed out his saber all at once, but Qui-Gon knew what he had to do. He dove down into the darkness looking for something he could only see with his mind.

 

There.

 

Light that his eyes couldn't see lay beneath the icy waters, and there--Obi-wan.

 

The force carried Qui-Gon just was much as his steady strokes. The other man was unconscious and felt limp as Qui-Gon wrapped an arm around him and struggled back to the surface.

 

The cold tried to steal what breath Qui-Gon had left and kill them both, but Qui-Gon pushed on, swimming through the darkness with only faith to guide him.

 

The ice covering the surface hit Qui-Gon like a rock. He almost gasped as pain blossomed through his head. If he had it would have killed them both.

 

Qui-Gon treaded water as he tried his lightsaber. There was a brief flicker of light before it died.

 

_Please_

 

_Please, you’ve taken me this far._

 

_Guide me._

 

Not understanding, or indeed knowing what he was doing Qui-Gon kicked up bracing his hand above him and pushing- OUT.

 

The ice cracked under the force, and for the first time in minutes, Qui-Gon took a gasp of air. Obi-wan remained still and colorless.

 

Desperately Qui-Gon clawed at the ice that was already beginning to reform around them. With numb strength, he pulled both himself and then Obi-wan out of the water.

 

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Qui-Gon murmured, trying to bring Obi-wan back.

 

“Come back.” Qui-Gon started emergency resuscitation, numbness turning fire as his body tried to recover.

 

It should have been hopeless. Obi-wan had been under the water for far too long. Every rational part of Qui-Gon knew that he was doing no more than trying to breathe life into a dead man.

 

But Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan. The bond between them had never broken. More so, Qui-Gon could feel Obi-wan’s life flickering beneath him through the force.

 

And then Obi-wan was choking and coughing up water and then breathing, and Qui-Gon was sobbing with relief, cradling the other man’s head in his arms.

 

The force blossomed around them and Qui-Gon somehow knew everything was going to be alright.

 

 

* * *

  
  


The cold and almost complete darkness almost killed them on the journey out of the crystal caves despite everything they had already been through. Still, Qui-Gon was able to get them back, despite having to once more having to break through the ice (this time of the waterfall the blocked the entrance).

 

He had been forced to let Obi-wan go as he did his best to set up the bare minimum of camp and rid both himself and Obi-wan of their icy clothes. By the time he got them both into the bed roll exhaustion was pulling him down. Just before unconsciousness came over him he wrapped himself around Obi-wan and listened to the man’s heart.

 

They were alive. He hoped that they still would be come morning.

  


Against all odds, Qui-Gon did wake. The faintest light filtered through the chamber lighting up Obi-wan’s open eyes. They stared silently at one another before Obi-wan gently touched the top of Qui-Gon’s head, making him wince.

 

“You’re hurt,” Obi-wan whispered his brows creasing.

 

“I hadn’t really noticed,” Qui-Gon replied, easily ignoring the ache resonating from his head over being able to feel Obi-wan through the force and through an open bond at the same time.

 

Obi-wan’s hand slid down to gently cup Qui-Gon’s cheek. The concern on his face fading to incredulous joy.

 

“...I’m alive?”

 

Relief swelled through Qui-Gon as well as a strong sense of Deja vu. A small chuckle rose through his chest that turned into laughter as tears tracked down his face. “You’re alive. You’re okay.” He replied as he reached up and held Obi-wan’s face in his hands and returned the kiss that had broken his heart.

  
  


It was with great reluctance that they left the warmth of the sleeping pad, but necessity is a harsh master. Their clothes had been hastily discarded and had frozen instead of dried. Qui-Gon did is best to sort it out so that they would eventually be able to leave. “I swear if I ever want to go to an Ice planet again kick me.” Qui-Gon huffed as he hurried to get back to the sleeping pad.

 

Obi-wan choked a laugh from the sleeping pad which he had already gotten back to. They were both shivering badly, their bodies still not completely recovered from the earlier trauma, not to mention trying to move around without any sort of protection from the cold.

 

“Here,” Obi-wan said, his teeth chattering, once Qui-Gon had got himself situated. “Let me look at your head while you eat that.”

 

Qui-Gon took the ration bar with a grimace. The bars were nasty things, and first-aid was something he liked to avoid when he could. “Very well…” He said reluctantly as Obi-wan gently cleaned and prepped the wound.

 

He tried his best to hold still, but couldn’t help but pull away with a wince as Obi-wan worked.

 

Obi-wan breathed out an amused sigh. “I almost forgot how you could withstand through even the worst of injuries… and then at like a child when it came to getting them treated.”

 

Qui-Gon sat up a bit straighter at that. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about-” Qui-Gon winced again. He sighed a bit forlornly,  “It stings.”

 

“Almost done,” Obi-wan said with a thread of amusement in his voice.

 

Thankfully Obi-wan wasn’t exaggerating and after securing the bandage Qui-Gon felt careful fingers run through his hair. Qui-Gon looked at Obi-wan curiously, but Obi-wan pulled away, abashed.

 

Qui-Gon caught his hand. “It’s alright you know.”

 

A blush rose to Obi-wan’s cheeks despite the cold- a good sign. A moment later, however, Obi-wan pulled away and grabbed the second ration bar. Fiddling with it before settling down under the covers.

 

Qui-Gon watched on speculatively, but it was cold enough for him to follow suit quickly. The silence fell between them as they ate their respective ration bars.

 

“I suppose this counts as breakfast in bed.”

 

Qui-Gon almost choked on the dry bar. “What?”

 

Obi-wan smiled apologetically, but there was mischievousness underlying it that Qui-Gon had never seen before. He reached out and brushed some of Obi-wan’s hair away that had fallen into the man’s face. The blush that flooded the man’s cheeks was well worth it.

 

“I sincerely hope that the next time we have ‘breakfast in bed’ that it won’t be ration bars.”

 

Obi-wan’s flush grew deeper, and Qui-Gon was glad to see it, Obi-wan was alive, alive and with _him._

 

“You’re so sure there will be another time?” The question was asked jokingly, but there was a wondering hesitance there that made Qui-gon want to pull Obi-wan into his arms and never let go.

 

“As long as you want there to be,” Qui-Gon answered.

  


Epilogue

  


Obi-wan hadn’t expected a happy ending. Long ago he had accepted that he was destined for infinite sadness and his only relief would be in death.

 

It turned out the force had other plans.

 

When he sunk into the nexus of the force he had finally understood what the force had done.

 

There was no other timeline for him to go back to. The threads of his reality had been looped back into the tapestry of life and the universe continued on. It wouldn’t be perfect. Darkness flourished even as the light burned bright, but neither would overwhelm each other, not now.

 

They would have to fight to keep it so, but the Jedi would never be forced to be soldiers instead of peacekeepers, and Obi-wan would be able to help create change from within that would make it impossible for the Sith to do what once had been.

 

And Obi-wan had Qui-Gon.

 

It had been impossible even before Qui-Gon had died. A hopeless love that Obi-wan had never expected to be requited. One that didn’t end even with Qui-Gon’s death.

 

Still, Obi-wan had tried his best to live his life they way Qui-Gon would have wanted. And had failed miserably.

 

Yet somehow, not only was Qui-Gon alive, but he wanted Obi-wan.

 

Obi-wan still had a difficult time comprehending it despite the reassurance of it through their bond.

 

They were still learning about each other. Qui-Gon peeling away the layers Obi-wan had built around himself layer by layer, and Obi-wan discovering the man that he had only caught glimpses of.

They were happy.

 

And so, despite all odds, Obi-wan had found it. A happy ending after all.

  
  
  
  


The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! Hopefully this didn't feel like it tied-up too quickly. This is the first story I have ever been able to get from point A to Z with everything I planned actually getting written. And there was no way it would have happened without you guys >.< 100% honest if you commented you gave this story life and I appreciated it with every ounce of my soul... even if I was so flabbergasted that it took me a few days to weeks ;) Thanks so much for even reading, I hope you enjoyed it. :)


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